A Ghost from the Distant Past

[Alexander]

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I was so utterly alone and cut off.
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   If you are like me you are wondering what the h*** happened to all your friends??  I am reminded of Jesus before crucifiction.  How all of his best friends (his disciples) left him.  Was it them all at the same time or demonic forces?

For me one of two things happened either 1) people slowly faded away, they kept appologizing for not checking their messages and then eventually they stopped checking messages totally and the messages showed as 'unread' on my end or 2) A hard cut.  This was the most hurtful.  A person who was a close friend would suddenly disappear with no explanation.  Their social media profile was just 'gone', their profiles disappeared one by one, calls would not go through and messages were unread.

I'm so glad I have found some friends here who are here to stay and as we keep talking my paranoia is decreasing week by week.

-David

Fate often makes social isolation/ostracization a part of the dark night. It’s a part of the saint/mystic’s education to Perfection. 👍

[Alexander]

>>>
I was so utterly alone and cut off.
>>>

   If you are like me you are wondering what the h*** happened to all your friends??  I am reminded of Jesus before crucifiction.  How all of his best friends (his disciples) left him.  Was it them all at the same time or demonic forces?

For me one of two things happened either 1) people slowly faded away, they kept appologizing for not checking their messages and then eventually they stopped checking messages totally and the messages showed as 'unread' on my end or 2) A hard cut.  This was the most hurtful.  A person who was a close friend would suddenly disappear with no explanation.  Their social media profile was just 'gone', their profiles disappeared one by one, calls would not go through and messages were unread.

I'm so glad I have found some friends here who are here to stay and as we keep talking my paranoia is decreasing week by week.

-David

Dave the one thing I recommend is humility. You have many delusions which are produced by pride. Perfection involves self-stripping, humbling… embracing nudity and impoverishment. But good things follow😁

[Tad]

Talking about friends, there is an excellent sutta.

"Monks, a friend endowed with seven qualities is worth associating with. Which seven? He gives what is hard to give. He does what is hard to do. He endures what is hard to endure. He reveals his secrets to you. He keeps your secrets. When misfortunes strike, he doesn't abandon you. When you're down & out, he doesn't look down on you. A friend endowed with these seven qualities is worth associating with."

[Alexander]

Talking about friends, there is an excellent sutta.

"Monks, a friend endowed with seven qualities is worth associating with. Which seven? He gives what is hard to give. He does what is hard to do. He endures what is hard to endure. He reveals his secrets to you. He keeps your secrets. When misfortunes strike, he doesn't abandon you. When you're down & out, he doesn't look down on you. A friend endowed with these seven qualities is worth associating with."

Sounds like the traits of a lion to me

[Jhanananda]

Thank you: Michael, Alexander, Tad and David for your contributions to this thread on the Dark Night of the Soul. You have all presented key pieces of the experience that a mystic must go through to become a mystic. Thank you, Tad, for posting sutta quotes.  It is good to see that you are reading the suttas and applying them to your and our real world experience.

A component of the dark night for me was also in unpacking my belief systems and realizing just how deep the cultural delusions go throughout human civilization. Collapsing these cultural delusions should certainly be an alienating experience as one realizes just how pervasive the cultural delusions go.  This is why we have the section here on Unpacking Religion.  About 20 years ago I spent a couple of years digging through the translations of the suttas and came to realize how pervasive in Buddhism a compete misunderstanding of the 8th fold is throughout the three vehicles of Buddhism.  Then I turned my attention to examining how the Bible and Gospels are consistently mistranslated. That was a dark night of the soul for me to realize no religion or culture had a clear understanding of mysticism, and that all translations were deeply flawed. So, keep unpacking your belief systems and keep meditating deeply and don't expect the world is not going to alienate you for finding out just how delusional all cultures are.

[Michael Hawkins]

So, keep unpacking your belief systems and keep meditating deeply and don't expect the world is not going to alienate you for finding out just how delusional all cultures are.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply, Jeffrey.

The last line hits me pretty hard.  I feel that it's not just the mystical that is misrepresented and demonized.  We live in a time when delusions are so widespread, so pervasive and so unopposed that so-called "reality" is no longer accessible to the vast majority of humans.  When our institutions and authority figures lie to us with every breath, and people are conditioned to accept "authoritative" pronouncements as the gospel truth, we know that society is on the fast track to oblivion.  It's not that we all have to agree on a particular version of "truth."  It's that we need to exercise critical thinking skills, listen to others who do the same, and then use discernment to decide what makes the most sense.  The delusional cultures of this world have no interest in the masses becoming awakened.  The delusional cultures of this world have a vested interest in keeping everyone dazed and confused, but pretending that the party line is all that matters.

Sorry for the rant.  Having experienced a lengthy and toxic Dark Night of the Soul, it's much easier to see the delusion - and I am not immune.  I can also see why meditation and a contemplative daily lifestyle is a sane response, since the world "out there" is going to follow its trajectory no matter what we do.

[rougeleader115]

Michael, I appreciate your response and I could not be happier my message was so well received. I am really looking forward to your future endeavors.

Jeffery, thank you, I am trying to be more present here. I have just been diving deeper and deeper. Focusing on my discipline and moment to moment awareness. I feel like this forum is my monastery, but I am taking time in the wilderness to truly find myself. I am always lurking here, I just have been in a long stripping away since that Native American experience last summer.

David, I agree that I think it is a very good description of the experience of the dark night. I have entered it in various degrees, but over time I have found equanimity is making even the worst of my depressive states “tolerable”. I was in a terribly long bout from the end of November until the beginning of February. I would easily say one of the worst of my life, but simultaneously my practice has become strong enough to dissolve my internal strife if I really let go. So I found that I could truly hold on my sanity only because I had space internally to dive into over and over when everything else was entirely overwhelming. I also am lucky enough to have a handful of incredibly loving individuals around me in real life.

Rougeleader

[Jhanananda]

I couldn't agree more with Michael, Rougeleader and the other members of this forum.  We just have to keep moving forward and exercising critical thinking as we negotiate the vast amount of delusion that this world runs on.

[KriyaYogi]

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Alex:Dave the one thing I recommend is humility. You have many delusions which are produced by pride. Perfection involves self-stripping, humbling… embracing nudity and impoverishment. But good things follow
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   I guess we all have delusions on some level, some help us keep going, true or not.  Yes I try to be humble when possible.
My personal paranoia is a natural extension of past experiences, but may not be as relevant in the coming future as I continue Kali sadhana and identify more with her and less with the body-self.


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Jeff: That was a dark night of the soul for me to realize no religion or culture had a clear understanding of mysticism,
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   I've also noticed it has been challenging for me to find someone who understands spirituality.  There are alot of people out there 'projecting' or imaginging, or just intellectualizing, I have had to sort through many many teachers to find good ones.


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Rogueleader: David, I agree that I think it is a very good description of the experience of the dark night. I have entered it in various degrees, but over time I have found equanimity is making even the worst of my depressive states “tolerable”. I was in a terribly long bout from the end of November until the beginning of February.
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    What basically got me out, was self observation, and discipline in my life routine.  I am making a very general statement because my particular scenario is particularly uniquie, but that template may be what gets many others out of the dark night?

Like for example I was able to observe my symptoms, test solutions one by one, and slowly build a lifestyle of solutions that moved me forward towards feeling better, step by step.  Once I built it I just have to maintain it to feel ok, and sleep fine.  Generic advice maybe but perhaps it will help others?

Good to hear from you all,

-David