Happy Holidays, Happy to Be Here

[Michael Hawkins]

Hello friends - Merry Christmas.

A short note to greet you all on a day that carries mixed emotions for most of us.  This year I'm feeling a calmness that belies a traumatic past history with this day, so I'm grateful for that.

What I'm more grateful for is the fact that my practice has called me to clean up my inner house to make a proper home for the ecstatic energy that blessed (and cursed) me so many years ago.  I've been browsing through some of my old posts here, and I don't know who that person is.  I literally cannot access him, it's like I never knew him in the first place.  He sure sounded like he knew his shit, though.  He disappeared somewhere during the Dark Night and has not been heard from since.  Whoever I am now, I'm having to start from scratch.

That said, it is so good to move past 2nd jhana into a still mind again, something that would've been helpful if I'd been capable during the Dark Night.  Lately I've blasted across the abyss separating 2nd and 3rd (the Valley of the Shadow of Death), and during longer sits there is no pleasure or pain any more - just floating in oneness, my long-lost home.

I have so much love and respect for this family of contemplatives, so much gratitude that Jeffrey is still with us, and that I can start from scratch in the midst of you.

Blessings on the New Year to you all.

[Tad]

Hello Michael,

Thanks and merry Christmas to you as well. I guess this time of the year is when we can remember about Christian mystics 

[Michael Hawkins]

I guess this time of the year is when we can remember about Christian mystics 

Good point, Tad.  Maybe I'll read some St. John of the Cross this week in honor of your reminder.

I remember about fifteen years ago, when I was a lot more engaged with the local Buddhist community, I frantically searched for other people to meditate with at midnight New Years Eve.  I ended up at the Karma Dzong in downtown Boulder - a giant meditation hall that took up the top floor of a tall building.  I was the only one there to greet the New Year, but it was at least open.  I think this year I'll just do my thing at home.

[Jhanananda]

I am so glad to read that you are back on track, Michael. I am certain you will get right back to where you were, as you are already making progress. Just keep it up and you will reap the rewards of a fruitful contemplative.