I wonder if you've come off Zyprexa yet, Michel? If not, have you had any visions in meditation? I still think your original concern about zyprexa interfering with more immersive states to be quite valid, especially after researching how zyprexa works on the brain. And considering similar effect states have been completely ended with zyprexa, as stated above.
I will be pleasantly surprised if you're on it but have had some visions or more immersive states since I last talked with you.
I haven't stop taking Zyprexa due to a number of reasons. One being the potential for a dreadful withdrawal.
I went through benzodiazepine withdrawal back in 2001, I had been taking large doses of Cloneazepine, a minor tranquilizer similar to Valium, for over a 20 year period - and it nearly literally killed me, even though I tapered down to lower and lower doses. I was determined to get off these drugs on my own, and I especially didn't want the psychiatrists to get involved. The withdrawal symptoms I experienced were: severe heart palpitations, splitting headache, gut wrenching anxiety, I was totally agoraphobic, I had trouble walking due to feeling off balance, along with severe tinnitus, burning lips, hands and feet, and I had terrifying nightmares and thus was afraid to sleep. I also had gross perceptual distortions: I thought humans looked extremely ugly - especially their ears; I recall eating a can of sardines, they tasted like peanut butter. My legs and back were very stiff, some sort of muscle seizure. This went on for some 3 months and then I became manic and was carted out to the mental hospital by the police. It could have been benzodiazepine withdrawal induced mania. They put me back on a benzodiazepine for while, then the flaming genius of a psychiatrist I had decided to quickly taper me off the benzodiazepine. When I got out of the hospital, I went into a severe depression and was beginning to go into withdrawal again. I decided I never wanted to see another psychiatrist for the rest of my life, so I stopped taking all their drugs and got some Cloneazepine from a friend and started drinking heavily. The booze allowed me to get off the drug, and I managed to stay away from the psychiatrist for some 10 years, but 10 years later I managed to pickle my liver, and I became manic after I completely stopped drinking.
I've not had any "visions or more immersive states " while taking Zyprexa, Jhanon.
So, I feel strongly that we shouldn't mess around with these drugs. They're dangerous. Careful Jhanon. And stay away from these crazy psychiatrists if you can.
My observations, experiences, and study all confirm your post. Benzo's and anti-psychotics are extremely dangerous. In my own studies, I have found them to be more dangerous than heroin. But not as dangerous as psychiatrists. I've been studying and experimenting with medicine ever since my Mother had me put on Ritalin at 7 years old.
There are some general rules to drugs, and these general rules I've found useful. One: if the drug is man-made and has no close counterpart in the natural world (barbiturates, benzo's, anti-psychotics, etc), then it should be avoided at all costs, except in brief use/emergency. Generally speaking, man-made drugs should be avoided at all cost unless absolutely necessary. It is pretty obvious that natural drugs have had an unknown and lengthy period of time to evolve in balance with humans and the rest of the world. Anything man-made, including the computer, brings enormous complication and difficulty for humanity. Unfortunately, more and more of "modern society" is filled with these man-made imbalances, which has led to more and more use of manmade "solutions", such as the various medications we've discussed. The only solution is to leave as much of it behind as possible. Unfortunately, I have a one year old and not yet the means to do so.
Michel, I am very sorry for the difficulties you recounted. You're not alone. But let me say that I encourage you to continue trusting your own judgment and research (google!) over any "medical professionals." At present, after at least 20 different, so-called "best" doctors failed me miserably, I only have one that prescribes me what I ask for (within reason.) And I hope to soon have completed my efforts to again allow me the means of freedom from them altogether, while still contributing adequately for my family.
Lastly, it pains me greatly to hear that you haven't yet proved Zyprexa not responsible for your concerns about charisms. I was very much hoping when I came back to te forum that you would have proved Zyprexa not responsible for charism-blocking, even though my experience and study suggested otherwise. I still go on hoping that either it isn't responsible, or the possibility of safely resolving it. My apologies if it is difficult to read what I just said. I have one Zyprexa left from a long time ago. Also, since I am consistently saturating on charisms during meditation, I may, if you want, consider taking it and seeing if I can get the same saturation in charisms while under it's effect. That is the kindest thing I can think to do--if you share my same concerns about Zyprexa and charisms. I don't know if you recall why I have that suspicion about it, but I discussed it with you in earlier discussions.
