CONCERNING SYMPTOMS
I'm sorry I failed to respond to this request for clarification, Jhanananda. I actually came on here to ask for more perspective and guidance regarding someone and was surprised to find I was on here asking questions May of last year.
I come to you with a much larger bag of interesting questions which I've been unable to find answers within myself for. I believe this is because I've been way too lax with my practice for too long and am "rusty." That is a long story I do not want to delve into right now. Moving on, I hope you'll forgive my lack of response to your questions Jhanananda, and help me once again. I intend to have this individual make their own username on here and begin utilizing the community. But, for now, as with previous people I've brought into the community, I think she needs to see how helpful it is by me posting the most concerning/concerning issues and seeing how the community responds.
The reason for my reappearance, other than because I personally need and desire to be a greater part of the community again, is in seeking guidance regarding a companion I taught/guided to meditative absorption states, and challenges they are encountering which appear to be best posted here. The symptoms she's describing and what I'm seeing her experience are not immediately familiar to me in the many years I've acted as a guide.
A quick note on circumstance. I live with this companion for over a half-year, whom I will refer to here as "A". We are around each other often. I've taught her meditative absorption, and we've also carefully utilized high safety-profile, low dosage psychedelic compounds in controlled environments. She meditates at least 2 hours a day and has made rapid progress over the last half-year.
We began sharing a bed many months ago, and it seems as far back as I can remember I've witnessed these strange full body spasms occur in her. They occur almost always in the evening as we lay in bed and begin to relax to sleep. I'm going to have her describe her direct experience of it here, and then I will add any other details which may be needed.
A: The spasms occur mostly when I begin to relax and while in a state of deep relaxation ( i.e. sitting, laying down, meditating). They also occur when I am fully alert and that is usually after meditating but not exclusively. When I get full-body spasms, it feels like my abdominal muscles contract on their own and a vibration goes throughout my entire body and often it results in the air being pushed out of my lungs so that I'm left gasping after. When the full-body spasms occur, its usually not just one, but multiple extended over a period of time. The other spasms I experience are isolated to single areas of the body. The body part that spasms the most on its own are my feet. It feels like the muscles by the soles of my feet are vibrating and they will do that for extended periods of time. Sometimes, but less often, singular toes will twitch on their own. Other areas of the body that spasm are really random, like my bicep muscle, or my quadriceps, or my eyelid. Those don't typically last long. These spasms are never painful. They are not cramps.
Jhanon: So, this may not sound that intense, but it scares the living shit out of me most times because I'm usually deep in meditation or almost asleep. From the outside, it's quite alarming to witness.
She states that these didn't begin happening until she began spending time with me, meditating deeper, and utilizing psychedelics--all things which in the past I have seen result in kundalini awakenings in others, which you can see reflected in my past posts. So, this may simply be a case of kundalini awakening of which the flavor I've not yet experienced.
Some other things she says she experiences is pain in her limbs during deep meditation, which she assures me is not a very strong tactile charism (buzzing of the inner body), as she says it is distinctly different.
Another concerning experience she reports, is frequent dreams which are terrifying. When we first met, she told me of these dreams and that she has had them most of her life. The descriptions she provided, along with frequent "sleep paralysis" accompanied by a sense of sinister presence. The dreams (she journals all dreams religiously) were already present before we met,and they immediately concerned me. Unlike her usual calm and peaceful external demeanor, about once a week I wake to her suddenly jolting awake and crying.
So,we have:
1) Full body spasms during meditation and relaxation (Kundalini complications?)
2) Pain in limbs during meditation
3) Persistent terrifying dreams going back many, many years
4) Frequent sleep paralysis accompanied by a sense of sinister presence and sometimes pain in the back
She's speaking to me right now trying to get more in (pain in the pineal gland), but I'd prefer she create an account and engage directly, so I'll leave that for her.
If/when she makes an account, I will link to her first post introducing herself right here.
Any thoughts?
Also, can we give her access to create an account? I see it is locked down.
(Oh, and I wanted to thank Jhanananda "publically" for his patience and guidance. Even though I'm rarely on here these past few years, he's really supported me when I needed it most.
Thank You, my friend, for your selfless service.)
