Michael's Blog

[Jhanananda]

Thank you, Michael, yes I agree with you, this is hell.  A place where the soil, water and air is poisonous, and where war punctuates history, and were pedophiles dominate religious discourse and have had a 1700 year history of persecuting mystics is surely all of the evidence any rational person needs that this is in deed hell.

Thank you for the recommendation of oxygen therapy. Have COPD I have had a great deal of oxygen therapy, and a few years ago someone gave me an oxygen concentrator, so if my experience with oxygen therapy was better than my experience with my modified CPAP machine then I would have been on oxygen all this time.  However, oxygen therapy in the ER takes 4-6 hours for me to recover from my many Afib events and extreme low O2 levels, but it only takes 5-30 minute for me to recover using my modified CPAP machine. It just took me a year of using it to gain sufficient confidence in the system to return to it when I need it instead of going to the ER. David also recommended it. But I know a lot of people with COPD who are on oxygen 24/7.  They never get better, but gradually get worse and die. Whereas, I continue to improve in health. So, thanks, but oxygen therapy is just another delusional bandaide; whereas, removing the air pollution a sick person is breathing works great for me.

[Michael Hawkins]

So, thanks, but oxygen therapy is just another delusional bandaide; whereas, removing the air pollution a sick person is breathing works great for me.

Understood, no problem, I know that you get a lot of unsolicited suggestions and that you have tried everything under the Sun already.

Just to clarify:  I'm now on a maintenance protocol consisting of 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide in water, three drops three times a day on an empty stomach.  I'm aware of more exotic (and expensive) forms of oxygen therapy and have never tried any of them, but for me, increasing oxygen in my blood through this protocol has truly been a miracle of healing, a delusion I gladly buy into.  I didn't really expect anything out of putting it out there, but decided I may as well.  I'm happy that you have found something that works for you, I really am.

[Jhanananda]

Understood, no problem, I know that you get a lot of unsolicited suggestions and that you have tried everything under the Sun already.

I'm fine for us investigating health and fitness ideas here, but I have indeed invested most of my life into trying to manage my autoimmune condition. In fact it is one of the reasons why I took up a contemplative life and stuck to it, because doing so has helped a great deal.

Just to clarify:  I'm now on a maintenance protocol consisting of 35% food grade hydrogen peroxide in water, three drops three times a day on an empty stomach.  I'm aware of more exotic (and expensive) forms of oxygen therapy and have never tried any of them, but for me, increasing oxygen in my blood through this protocol has truly been a miracle of healing, a delusion I gladly buy into.  I didn't really expect anything out of putting it out there, but decided I may as well.  I'm happy that you have found something that works for you, I really am.

I have been hearing about hydrogen peroxide therapies for decades, and I have tried it, but didn't notice any improvement, but perhaps your method is the correct method, or it at least works for you.

What I wish I had done decades ago is to simply journal, or spread sheet, my vitals first thing every morning. Doing so we can have a data set we can go on to see if any changes in our lifestyle improve or diminish our health. I started this practice after I was diagnosed with diabetes, because my doctor recommended I test my blood sugar every morning. But, I have since added pulse rate, percent blood oxygen, blood pressure, temperature and weight.  I have also added recording weather and air quality data, and I have found when air quality is not excellent I will see my vitals decline. I have also seen that my vitals decline as humidity drops below 50%. If you take up the practice, then do let us know how it works for you.

[Michael Hawkins]

I had an interesting texting interaction recently.  A friend had experienced a significant kundalini rising in 2014.  We decided to meditate together, although she lives in England, seven time zones away.  Meditating together often leads me more easily/readily into deeper states of absorption, which was the case this time.  She reported that the kundalini had "blasted" her - and then she spent the next several days dealing with various unwanted symptoms of kundalini overload.  She basically sat in a dark room day and night until everything finally settled back down.

At some point she said that she doesn't feel right about formal sitting meditation, because she doesn't want to become attached to bliss states.  Something we've all heard many times.  It occurred to me that, once jhana activates (kundalini, chi, prana, whatever we want to call it), we have an obligation to be stewards of that energy.  It's not something that can be stuffed back in the bottle.  So I told her that I was aware of the "bliss bunny" phenomenon, but that what's really going on is finding a practice that supports this blessing, that respects it and gives it a proper home in our bodies.  In a way it's about the bliss, but not from the perspective of bragging rights or personal accomplishment.  It's about accepting that this has happened and adopting a life that aligns with it.

Of course, I walked away from this entire sentiment for a good while.  It occurs to me that suffering increased because jhana was not given a proper home.  This is the complicated part of the equation, because some relationships are more conducive to contemplative practice than others - just as no relationship provides the most freedom to build a life around contemplative practice.

I guess all I'm saying is, there is peace in fully accepting the presence of meditative absorption in our life.  Once this acceptance has occurred, all the other priorities fall into line.  It took me a long time to fully accept - had to deal with the Dark Night and all - but it does feel good to know peace again.

[Jhanananda]

It sounds to me like your are well on your way to figuring it all out.  One of the things I have been working with for about 23 years is the sutta that describes Siddhartha's night of enlightenment in which he recalled a moment of bliss-filled meditating that he experienced as a child which launched him into the first jhana, then he progressed to greater depths from that point through the 4 jhanas, then he realized that he was enlightened. So, since then I have begun every meditation session with recalling a previous experience of depth. It works for me each time, and I am fine with being called a "bliss bunny" by people who have clearly never experienced the bliss, joy and ecstasy of deep meditation.

[Michael Hawkins]

So, since then I have begun every meditation session with recalling a previous experience of depth. It works for me each time.

I wonder if my process is similar.  Having trained to first go to the breath and then the first pleasant arising, it got to the place where the pleasant arising is always here, for me in the pineal area.  When I put my attention there, the pleasant sensation immediately expands and then starts cascading downward.  Right away my lower extremities are engaged.  At that point, especially early in the sit, it requires a good amount of surrendering so that the self-protective impulse to block the energy doesn't take over.  There is a back-and-forth of increasing and decreasing intensity, like a bellows, until finally I surrender my way past all resistance and it's just a matter of riding the charisms.

Truth is, there are more "explosive" sessions than others, and now that I reflect on it (thank you Jeffrey), I really do recall those experiences.  The sit with my English friend was one of those where my upper body swayed in circles and I could feel the serpent surging - and that memory is sort of the template.  If subsequent sessions don't measure up to that one, it doesn't bother me because I know one will come along before too much time passes.

[Jhanananda]

It sounds like you have it, Michael, then just keep repeating the method for the rest of your life.

[Michael Hawkins]

I've been utilizing Jeffrey's tip on remembering previous experiences with bliss, joy and ecstasy, and it's been very helpful for bypassing some of the struggles to get to a stilled mind (second jhana).  This morning after meditation I made a 16 minute video discussing my experience with this technique, adding an observation about what I'm calling "parking applied & sustained attention," which is a metaphor for when increased amplitude/intensity of absorption automatically stills the mind and I go into second jhana.  For me, it's like parking a car in the garage - only in this case, the garage is like a pillow of bliss, joy and ecstasy, and the "thought box" just floats in suspended animation in there.  Anyway, it's in the video if you'd like to check it out.  I posted it on my old contemplative blog called Samma-Samadhi, which, I guess, is being revived.

https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2023/12/28/parking-applied-amp-sustained-attention/

[Jhanananda]

Thank you, Michael, you explained how recalling a previous experience of depth in meditation works so well. It has worked for me for 50 years, so I expect it will work for you and others in a consistent manner.

[Michael Hawkins]

Like I said in my response beneath the blog, I had been practicing something along these lines during the 2005-2015 period (before the Dark Night nearly killed me) - but there is something about codifying the recollection of a recent experience of absorption that makes it a formal technique.  I'm finding that this little distinction makes a huge difference in reducing anxiety produced during the applied & sustained attention feature of the 1st jhana phase.  It's allowing me to relax and enjoy the show.

[Michael Hawkins]

Last night before bed I happened to notice a handful of comments on my Samma-Samadhi blog that have been in moderation for over 11 years.  Not sure what's up with that, whether I just missed them, or maybe I wasn't ready to weather a criticism storm, I don't know.  I let the comments through, then when I woke up this morning I started pondering how I would answer them.  After my morning meditation I decided to give it a go in a video:

https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2023/12/30/comparing-the-buddhas-teachings-with-direct-experience/

[Jhanananda]

I enjoyed watching your new video. Thank you so much for creating it, and posting it.

[Michael Hawkins]

I decided to record readings of four Phala Nikaya Suttas and post them to my Samma-Samadhi site.  Starting with the Anapanasati, I'll then go to the Satipatthana, Maha-satipatthana and Kayagata Suttas.  These are the four that I used for the meditation group I used to lead at my home years ago.  I got a lot of good feedback from aspirants at that time who were happy to have access to these teachings.

I just want to include these on my site so I can have a place to refer folks who are interested in developing a meditation practice and/or a contemplative daily life.

https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2024/01/02/anapanasati-sutta-majjhima-nikaya-118/

[Jhanananda]

Thanks, Michael. The track pad on my laptop has gone bad, which has created a great obstacle to me, in addition to my chronic health problems. Yesterday I took a 2 block walk with a nomad friend to the local food bank here in Wickenburg, where I am wintering.  By the time I got back to my van I was extremely ill approaching anaphylaxis from the poor air quality due to the National Forest Service control burns all over the state making air quality for the entire state dangerous to breathe. Anyway I was too ill to do anything for the rest of the day even though I was using my modified CPAP machine and was at least not in critical condition. I know I have a mouse somewhere and I hope to find it today and be back functioning again.

[Jhanananda]

Thank you, Michael, for your excellent reading of the Ananpana Sati Sutta. I enjoyed your reading of this translation of that sutta. As everyone here surely knows by now, fruit (phala) is what we are all about here, and this sutta uses the term "maha-phala" which means 'superior fruit.' And, for us the superior fruit are described in the Samana-phala sutta, so from the beginning of Siddhartha Gautama's discourse on the practice of meditation he refers to the entire purpose of his Noble Eightfold Path is targeted to achieving the superior fruit.

A note on my comment yesterday. My track pad is back to working properly, so I believe its erratic movements for the previous 2 days were due to downloading updated software, which is evidence of poor programming of the operating system. Hopefully this upgrade will fix that bug.