Equanimity

[Alexander]

I don't know how I ever lived without it.

[Jhanananda]

Equanimity (Upekkha) is a valuable aspect of the contemplative life.  It also happens to be the deciding factor for the 3rd jhana.  So, if one wants Equanimity, then one must learn to meditate to the depth of the 3rd stage of jhana.  If one does not meditate to the 3rd stage of jhana, then it is not likely that that person has equanimity.

[Cal]

Alexander

Equanimity has actually surprised me. Things past, such as my wife ignoring me after taunting my ego, would drive me nearly mad. The other night she did the same, only this time I said "Oh, that's jealousy. I recognize it and call it what it is, it's very helpful. You should do the same."

I did this with no ill will and surprisingly my wife was very receptive. So when I said this, I said it very "light of heart". Knowing my own temper, this was an accomplishment beyond measure.  Perhaps it was in my reaction, that she changed her method. Who knows?

[Jhanon]

I don't know how I ever lived without it.

Alexander, in your experience, does equanimity have moments when it's not there? For example, if you were sleeping and someone ran into your room yelling "Fire! Fire!" would you wake up in equanimity?

This is the only example I can think of (disturbing wake.)

[Alexander]

Hello Cal,

Yes, I am very pleased with my current state. The secret to it seems to be negation. If you die to yourself, embrace death, and hate yourself, you can achieve equanimity. It is quite ascetical, but I accept all my sins/stains/pains. I have died to the world and other people. This seems to be the correct path to overcome stress.

[Jhanananda]

Alexander

Equanimity has actually surprised me. Things past, such as my wife ignoring me after taunting my ego, would drive me nearly mad. The other night she did the same, only this time I said "Oh, that's jealousy. I recognize it and call it what it is, it's very helpful. You should do the same."

I did this with no ill will and surprisingly my wife was very receptive. So when I said this, I said it very "light of heart". Knowing my own temper, this was an accomplishment beyond measure.  Perhaps it was in my reaction, that she changed her method. Who knows?

This is a good example of success in your contemplative life.  Do keep it up, but do not be surprised if your wife takes your new equanimity as a challenge.

I don't know how I ever lived without it.

Alexander, in your experience, does equanimity have moments when it's not there? For example, if you were sleeping and someone ran into your room yelling "Fire! Fire!" would you wake up in equanimity?

This is the only example I can think of (disturbing wake.)

When you are well established in equanimity, then you can face someone holding a loaded gun that is pointed right at you without any anxiety.

[Cal]

Alexander

Equanimity has actually surprised me. Things past, such as my wife ignoring me after taunting my ego, would drive me nearly mad. The other night she did the same, only this time I said "Oh, that's jealousy. I recognize it and call it what it is, it's very helpful. You should do the same."

I did this with no ill will and surprisingly my wife was very receptive. So when I said this, I said it very "light of heart". Knowing my own temper, this was an accomplishment beyond measure.  Perhaps it was in my reaction, that she changed her method. Who knows?

This is a good example of success in your contemplative life.  Do keep it up, but do not be surprised if your wife takes your new equanimity as a challenge.

Yes sir, she will be my trial by fire, she always has been. Perhaps this is why I married her, an anchor, a counter balance to my recklessness. As I type this now, she demands my attention. I feel that she can be the whetstone that hones my awareness. If not, one could always build a soundproof room =). Oh, with locks, cant forget the locks xD

[Jhanon]

When you are well established in equanimity, then you can face someone holding a loaded gun that is pointed right at you without any anxiety.

You stimulate the bhakti(?), Jhananda. I know you tell the truth. I am very grateful for your wisdom, patience and tolerance, as well as making time for us. That goes for the whole GWV.