Alexander's Blog

[Jhanananda]

Good points friends.  I am reminded that Diogenes used to walk around Athens with a lamp asking people, "Do you know an honest man?"

[Alexander]

I have been trying to see my frustrations as a kind of "training," with the purpose of this "training" to make it so I cannot feel happiness from anything in the world. By this I mean the important, "existential" happiness. The rationale being that the more I am impoverished of that "existential" happiness, the more I am able to derive happiness from the spiritual realm.

[Cal]

I have been trying to see my frustrations as a kind of "training," with the purpose of this "training" to make it so I cannot feel happiness from anything in the world. By this I mean the important, "existential" happiness. The rationale being that the more I am impoverished of that "existential" happiness, the more I am able to derive happiness from the spiritual realm.

Aye. Down the rabbits hole we go. Although, I think "happiness" itself is with us only to provide contrast.

I can relate to some frustration. Psychology and Psychiatry, they frustrate me. Idiots, all of them. Self-proclaiming, self-serving fuckwads. (Im currently trying to write a 6 page (Yes, 6 page) essay (or short book) on the evolutionary basis of religion.) The term "normal" is like skittles to these asshats. Even worse, im getting my infromation from peer-reviewed academic journals. Literal fuckwads (if there were such a term) ^.^
 

[Jhanananda]

Oh boy, you two are on a roll.  It sounds like it is time to meditate.

[Alexander]

1. One of the things that motivated me to become spiritual was my disappointment with the pleasures available to human beings. This was such a weird motivation for a long time. It seemed like such a profane and hedonistic reason to become spiritual. It was not until I read the book Shiva: The Erotic Ascetic by Wendy Doniger Flaherty that I began to understand my perspective, and see it in a new way. I realized that the paradigm I had was not antispiritual at all: it was just the influence that western culture had had on me.

Oh boy, you two are on a roll.  It sounds like it is time to meditate.

2. My question is how does this self-hating, death-craving, cognitionless, alienated person acquire the strength to fend off demons, and navigate the spiritual realm? As this is the person the spiritual life has been training me to be. I expected so much more empowerment, and sooner: and not the experience of being left in the dark like this, in limbo.

[Jhanananda]

From personal experience, it is by becoming as transparent as glass due to no craving and covetousness, and developing equanimity, that we can traverse even hell itself unscathed.

[Alexander]

1. Well, the misfortunes keep piling on. I was not approved for my Section 30 benefits, which means I cannot collect an additional $13,000 in unemployment. This means in November my current benefits will expire. I will have to keep looking for a new job.

I have been fighting for an extension of my unemployment benefits, as it doesn't look like I will get a new job any time soon. In Massachusetts there is an extension available for people going back to school; it turns out I qualify, as I'm planning to return to school. However, I have been declined for the program two times. I did not fill out the paperwork correctly the first time, so now it looks like I am doomed. But, I am trying to appeal for the last time now. If I received the extension it would be a great personal victory for me, after the misfortunes I've had recently. However, I suspect the bastards will decline me again, because bureaucracies don't work intelligently.

I created this letter and sent it to them, which I'm rather proud of, however I'm sure it will be tossed aside.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing you to appeal for an extension of my unemployment benefits, under Massachusetts General Law Chapter 151A, Section 30c. This is my second requested appeal for an extension under the Training Opportunities Program.

I am currently enrolled in 12 credits per semester at Worcester State University, working towards an initial teacher’s license and a master’s degree in English. To be eligible for the Training Opportunities Program, I must be enrolled in 12 credits; therefore, I should qualify.

In my appeal to Kathleen Della Penna, her conclusion was the following.

III. CONCLUSIONS & REASONING:

The claimant participated in the telephone hearing.

Although the claimant established that he will be put into the full-time program after all of his work is processed in November 2016, at the time of the hearing and when he filed his TOP application he was enrolled in a part-time course. In accordance with the provisions of Section 30(c) of the law the claimant must be enrolled in a full-time course and therefore he does not meet the provisions of law to be eligible for benefits.

The above is not accurate and I will explain as follows.

As Ms. Penna confirms under evidence, my initial form stated full-time.

II. FINDINGS OF FACT:

Will the claimant be a full-time or part-time student? Full-time

As I informed Ms. Penna during the hearing, my initial form was filled out improperly. The dean and I filled out the form as full-time, but only stating the credits from the initial licensure courses. It is for this reason I returned to the dean on 10/2 and asked her to write a letter to correct those errors. I asked Ms. Penna to use the credits explained in the dean’s letter, and not those stated in the form that we initially filled out. However, Ms. Penna’s ruling is based on the initial form.

The clarifying parts of the dean’s letter are the following.

Mr. Lorincz has received permission to enroll in 12 credits during the fall and spring
semesters of 2016 once he is admitted to the initial teacher licensure program. Typical
full-time enrollment for graduate studies is 9 credits, but Mr. Lorincz has requested,
and has been granted, an overload once he is accepted to the program.

Mr. Lorincz plans to enroll in three education courses and one graduate-level English
course during the spring 2016 semester for a total of 12 graduate credits. He will
complete his student teaching and seminar course, plus two graduate-level English
courses during the fall 2016 semester for a total of 14 graduate credits. Upon successful completion of these credits, he will earn his initial teaching license by December 31, 2016.

Turning to Massachusetts General Law Chapter 151A, Section 30c, and its provisions.

provided, further, that the claimant shall begin training in the first available program which is a reasonable distance from the claimant's residence, as determined by the commissioner…

I have met the above; enrolling at Worcester State University, the nearest to my residence.

provided, further, that such extension shall be available only to individuals who have applied to the commissioner for training no later than the fifteenth week of a new or continued claim but the commissioner shall specify by regulation the circumstances in which the 15 week application period shall be tolled…

I have met the above.

provided, that such additional benefits shall be paid to the individual only when attending such course and only if such individual has exhausted all rights to regular and extended benefits under this chapter and has no rights to benefits or compensation under this chapter or any other state unemployment compensation law or under any federal law…

I have met the above. This is explained as follows.

My payment history, retrieved from https://uionline.detma.org/, is as follows.

Week #   Benefits Requested Date
16      10/18
15      10/11
14      10/4
13      9/27
12      9/20
11      9/13
10      9/6
9      8/30
8      8/23
7      8/16
6      8/9
5      8/2
4      7/26
3      7/19
2      7/12
1      7/5

Based on the above, my future 10 weeks will be as follows.

Week #   Benefits Requested Date
26      12/27 (FINAL WEEK OF PAYMENTS WITHOUT TOP)
25      12/20
24      12/13
23      12/6
22      11/29
21      11/22
20      11/15
19      11/8
18      11/1
17      10/25

Based on the above, a TOP extension would become active at the earliest the week of 1/3/16; therefore, it would coincide with my Spring 2016 courses at Worcester State University.

I am taking 6 credits this semester (Fall 2015). This may be what Ms. Penna means when she says I am enrolled part-time; however, I am taking these courses during my current (non-TOP) weeks.

There is no reference in the law that the applicant must be enrolled in a full-time course during the base 26 weeks to be eligible for TOP. In fact, a claimant must be actively applying for jobs to receive payments (only TOP acceptance waives the work search requirement); therefore, one cannot be both a full-time student and actively applying for jobs under the base 26 weeks.

The law states that “such additional benefits shall be paid to the individual only when attending such course and only if such individual has exhausted all rights to regular and extended benefits under this chapter.” A TOP extension would coincide with my full-time courses, thus they would be paid “when attending such course,” and it would begin after my base 26 weeks has expired, thus they would be paid only after I have “exhausted all rights to regular benefits.”

As a 23-year-old student with limited prospects, I hope I have demonstrated my qualifications for the Training Opportunities Program above.

Thank you,

Alexander Lorincz
10/20/15

[Jhanananda]

I am sorry, Alexander, to read of your trouble.  I hope it resolves itself to your benefit.

[Alexander]

“He has no need for faith who knows the uncreated, who has cut off rebirth, who has destroyed any opportunity for good or evil, and cast away all desire. He is indeed the ultimate man.”

This was a great quote posted by Sam on the group's Facebook page. I did not know there were quotes like this in Buddhism. I agree with what is said here: whoever reaches the heights of the spiritual life is the example of the supreme human being. Thus, Christ, the Buddha, Socrates, John of the Cross, Dante, and others who reached the "heights" are the highest examples we have of human excellence. This was a premise of the book Cosmic Consciousness by R. M. Bucke.

[Cal]

I've found it possible to hear the sound charism always, even in noisy place. It comes down to choosing "perception". The sound charism can be quite loud, if you put full awareness into it. Although admittedly, in the noisiest places it has required a complete stilling of the mind to accomplish. Just "know" the noise isn't there and perceptions hits an off switch.  I do agree with everything else though. Pretty much anything that requires engagements takes awareness away from the charisms. What I noticed when I was working that they're always there you just have to switch your awareness to them.

(Rip I responded to the last post of the 2 nd tab of your blog)

[Jhanananda]

“He has no need for faith who knows the uncreated, who has cut off rebirth, who has destroyed any opportunity for good or evil, and cast away all desire. He is indeed the ultimate man.”

Yes, I agree, Alexander.  This is an excellent quote. I am not sure what sutta this is, but I think it is from the Dhammapada.  Nonetheless, I seem to recall this phrase is repeated throughout the Pali Canon.

I've found it possible to hear the sound charism always, even in noisy place. It comes down to choosing "perception". The sound charism can be quite loud, if you put full awareness into it. Although admittedly, in the noisiest places it has required a complete stilling of the mind to accomplish. Just "know" the noise isn't there and perceptions hits an off switch.  I do agree with everything else though. Pretty much anything that requires engagements takes awareness away from the charisms. What I noticed when I was working that they're always there you just have to switch your awareness to them.

Yes, I too attend to the sound charism at all times, and I too experience hearing it loudly even in the loudest places.  I agree, we just have to choose to attend to it, to reap the benefit of this consolation.

[Alexander]

There is a trick to the third jhana, which I have regained and lost many times over the years. And that is where the "resting" of one's "I" is: in the mind, or in the underlying consciousness/awareness. The trouble with a busy life is the default is to rest one's I-hood in the mind. But, the real I is not the mind, but the awareness that's behind it.

[bodhimind]

There is a trick to the third jhana, which I have regained and lost many times over the years. And that is where the "resting" of one's "I" is: in the mind, or in the underlying consciousness/awareness. The trouble with a busy life is the default is to rest one's I-hood in the mind. But, the real I is not the mind, but the awareness that's behind it.

Nice insight, that is what I find as well. I also found that if I were to try and conceptualize that "I", then it is a thought as well... So now I think of it more as a verb rather a noun... It is like riding the charisms or being "aware", instead of an "I" that you can point to... A bit like a buoy floating on the water as the waves go up and down, up and down...

It's a bit like a speed camera pointed towards a road for me. So I see the busy life as the swarms of traffic going to and fro on the road... waves of pleasure rise when you see a car you like, waves of pain rise when you see all the smoke polluting the place... but they are all just mental activities and perceptions of whatever sensory experience you have.

The cognition is like the road, containing all the thought-waves. They just rise and fall away... And I also find that both observer and the observed rise and fall as dualities, as a pair. If there is nothing, there is nothing to observe, nor an observer to observe it. But out of nothing always arises a something, impermanent, which is observed, and then it dies away.... Then something else rises to take its place. I don't know if I'm making any sense, just typing this out from what I feel. Even the "I", or ego-sense is something observable... perhaps that's what I'm trying to say. There's this thought... or sense that is heavy in gravity... it pulls identification towards it. It tries to pull the physical body as the "I"... or things that are pleasant as "I"... But yet it separates things, saying that "that is not I". It's like a very subtle form of clinging to me.

It is just like how our physical bodies are made out of atoms and molecules... carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and so on... but they are also found elsewhere in the universe... and just because we gather these compounds within a body bag, we call it "I".. but it is simply because our field of sensation stops at the skin. And when the sensation of the body drops... it feels expansive... you're not the body bag anymore... the self-identification becomes 'finer' and finer... the "sensation" goes on and on past the skin, as if I become larger. I don't know if this helps or is accurate, but I am sure Jhanananda will be clearer...

[Jhanananda]

Interesting insights, Alexander and bodhimind.  Another way of looking at this oscillation between the 2nd and 3rd stages of deep meditation, is often one also experiences opening of the heart chakra at the level of the 3rd stage of deep meditation.  If we can keep the 'I' out of it, as Alexander put it, then we will not be looking for an object to pin upon the love one feels when the heart chakra opens.  We will then be able to keep this feeling of love strictly above the lower three chakras, and thus keeping the love universal, and not objectified.

[Alexander]

I really like this image of the Hindu gods, particularly Shiva and Shakti at the end, who are looking at each other unlike the others.