Bodhimind's Blog

[bodhimind]

Interesting that you found poetry as a way to express your state.  Poetry might just be the best way to do so.  This is why my first book was poetry.

Yes, it feels like describing it that way can express the meaning that I cannot write in descriptions.

When I was living on a meditation centre, I was drawn to the word jhana.  I have no idea why, I was meditating and the voice said, go understand jhana.  I went to their bookshelf and found the only book which had anything on jhana.  It was written like a math book and no actual explaination was given, other than it was something only someone else like Gotama could experience.   Yeah okay, I thought, and rolled my eyes.  Too limiting.

I too, was drawn to the word "bliss". I do not know why, but all my usernames in the past somehow had a suffix or prefix of bliss, or some variant of the sort. It was as if I was subconsciously thinking of "bliss". I loved the word "blizzard" because it had "blizz" which sounded like "bliss". I just loved the idea of residing in bliss. When I first experienced bliss in meditation, I thought to myself... That was it! That was what I was searching for!

I will try to do more poetry and improve the way I express myself with it, but as you can see in my previous example, I am not the best poet haha.

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Another very deep session today.

As usual, I got into my meditation practice, starting with Anapanasati, as the auditory charism was not as bright, possibly to do with an overexcited mental state.

The poem I wrote came to mind again... So I got the shepherd (breath) to lead my thoughts (sheep) away. Immediately, I got into a tingling blissfulness (sukha?).

There was this point where I dipped in and out of torpor. And that I realized that my conscious mind was getting in the way. The conscious perception itself was blocking myself from surrendering completely. From then on, I let go of this sneaky, stubborn sheep and I went into a state of equanimity (the lush green field).

This time, the significant part was when there was a rush of blissfulness to the soles of my feet. This happened when I was in a non-dual state of "emptiness". I felt like light was shining from within, and it radiating outwards, as if I was a Sun. All my thoughts faded into this... corner, as if there were people speaking in a lounge in a low voice. My mind was bright and under my eyelids was bright.

The brightness is beyond description, and I felt very detached from my body. The only part where I felt disturbed by my body was when the rush of energy seemed to happened. It was as if someone opened the dam on a river and it flooded all the way down from my torso to my legs. I felt "popping", as if little bubbles were popping at the soles of my feet, but I suspect that it might have been capillaries that were obstructed due to poor maintenance of the body, and were now filling up with fresh blood.

When I got out of meditation, I felt a little dizzy, as if I was trying to get back in touch with my physical senses. It took me a while to get back my balance.

[Jhanananda]

I too, was drawn to the word "bliss". I do not know why, but all my usernames in the past somehow had a suffix or prefix of bliss, or some variant of the sort. It was as if I was subconsciously thinking of "bliss". I loved the word "blizzard" because it had "blizz" which sounded like "bliss". I just loved the idea of residing in bliss. When I first experienced bliss in meditation, I thought to myself... That was it! That was what I was searching for!

This is what Siddhartha Gautama said when he found jhana after a decade of leading a contempltive life that did not bare fruit.

When I got out of meditation, I felt a little dizzy, as if I was trying to get back in touch with my physical senses. It took me a while to get back my balance.

This sounds like the kinesthetic charism.

[bodhimind]

I was reminded of a paint brush stroke, from one side, dense, to another side, subtle. It seems as if the whole world is in a spectrum of coarse things and subtle things. The subtler things, we cannot directly perceive through the six sense gates. The coarse things, we approximate, through our limited six sense gates. And of course, what is beyond subtle, we cannot even grasp with consciousness.

In fact, the only "real" things we can ever perceive are that of the four frames of references - the body, sensations, thoughts and mental qualities. By touching things outside, it is only our nerves being pricked and sending a message to the brain. In the end, all experience originates from within. As such, nothing outside can truly touch the inner, unless ignorance lends power and identity to it. As such, suffering is self-created and the only way out of it is rehabilitation until the deeper parts of the mind no longer create suffering for oneself.

I also realize that trying to be attached to the subtler things such as energy movements are still in a way, being attached to form. I don't know, but I feel like there is a point where logic no longer reaches and things become illogical. Logic governs into order. Without logic, things can naturally unravel into entropy. It feels like "clinging" tends to pull things together while "letting go" allows things to go in their natural cycles.

I find that the environment has a huge effect on my physical being. I recently flew from the winter cold of Australia to the tropical heat of Asia. I find that heat has risen from my liver and moved up to under my eyes. I feel my air passages clogged up with mucus. I intend to do more pranayama to clear the passages. My body is fatigued from travel, so I hope to catch some rest so that my psychosomatic state will be more optimal.

I also find that from my recent practice, I realize that everything that I experience is not the "self", and hence cannot really affect me until I give power to it. As such, I remain in a mindset of serenity while the outside continues to move. I feel pain, but my mind remains unmoved. I still feel frustration when the body is agitated physically, but my mind remains unmoved. The body remains mechanical, while the inside is blissfully at peace. Sometimes it feels as if hours has passed but it feels like just a few minutes to me. I've had episodes where I simply blinked my eye and then at least 5 minutes have flashed by.

I was thinking about family and bonds with people. It seems that all of these relationships are merely physical in nature. Since we are constantly searching for completion and fulfilment, we search for someone similar or even identical to us. Hence we identify with people who are similar in shape, genes, thoughts, ideology, etc. But if our memories were wiped, then there would be no emotion. It seems that it is thought about similarity that precedes such an emotion. If there is no memory, there is certainly no linkage whatsoever with our kin, other than gratitude for company in the physical realm.

We cannot project into a future simply by enlarging the past. Hence we should use awareness to see things as they are and not what we remember or expect them to be. However, it seems that education nowadays is based on memory work and rewards are given to people who break down things. When intellect rises, it seems that the heart has dried up. When a person dissects a painting, the original aesthetics of the painting disappear. It feels the same way for the divine. If I were to continue to cut it up logically, all I will see are more self-creations of confusion and will miss the point entirely.

[Valdy]

Hello Bodhimind

I was reading your post and searched the internet
and found this interesting video on the "Prison" we are
in, maybe it will be helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/user/daniela1771

Bless Valdy

[bodhimind]

Thank you Valdy, for sharing that video. I watched it. It is certainly similar, it is just that I try to stay away from New-age explanations as they tend to become too simplistic and fantastical.


---

I decided to add an 'anchor word' at the start of my practice. I chose to use the one recommended by Ajahn Lee (in one of the books shown in the GWV forum), and said "bud" for the inhalation and "dho"for the exhalation. What I find is that this allows the fifth consciousness (or conscious mind) to anchor to the sensation of the breath, as if it was dissolving into it. This allowed my thinking mind to synchronize with the pattern of breathing, leaving a space of fewer thoughts between the breaths.

When I did this, it allowed my mind to escape the normal drowsiness that can occur sometimes when I sat (where I will suddenly rouse out of the drowsiness and move into a clearer and aware state). I could tell that my mind was clearer and free of the hindrances. Hence, I then moved into the meditative state and rode on, keeping away from trying to control my body and breathing mechanism.

As I allowed my breathing to roam on its own, thoughts lessened as my breath lessened. Eventually, it reached a point of very feeble breath. This sometimes stopped completely. And when this happened, a burst of fresh vitality would rise within me. I cannot exactly pinpoint where it does, but it feels a bit like a solar flare that leaps upwards, giving a feeling of blissfulness that spreads through the body. Sometimes, this might end up with some itchiness, but as Jhanananda stated, staying through the length allows a different level of bliss/joy to be felt past it.

Of course, the charisms rise as well. The lights sometimes appear, as if they were some kind of interaction between the form elements. Sometimes they appear when I notice a shift in my mind. The ringing is quite constant. Now I find it strange that I only ever hear ringing but never bells or bird sounds as people talk about. The physical tingling is present since the start of rising in one-pointedness and can sometimes rise along with that radiating happiness that seems to be located around the chest to back area.

I can tell that there is some weird distance between this... "mental awareness" and my thoughts and body. When I meditate these few times, the distance grows so great that I simply reside in this awareness. I lose feelings of my body completely.

When I return to the world after absorption, I still feel a little dazed, as if control is seeping back through my body and nervous system.

Then it hits me a little hard... I suddenly feel very sensitive to my body. I can tell that some areas are a little.... painful? It is more of unpleasantness rather than pain. And all the different parts of my body are feeling in different ways. When I breathe in fresh, natural air, the body seems to calm a little.

When I drink a certain fluid, for example, coffee, it feels weird inside my body. As I walk around I can tell that weird feeling around my fingertips and especially sometimes around my scalp that can give rise to mini-orgasmic feelings. I think it might have been because I integrated sati with respect to the 32 body parts that this has allowed me to become more sensitive. Or perhaps it might have been the distance that I created between the body and the mental awareness... and when I returned from the deep experience it stands out far more.

Now when I interact with others, I am able to tell that my body is feeling a certain way. It seems that sometimes people react "emotionally" based on their own bodily suffering. I can sometimes feel irritated in body due to the heat of the weather, and I now realize that in the past, I would be interpreting this irritation of the body as frustration, and then using it as a basis for communication.

I reside in that awareness presently. I can tell that it is not affected until I decide it to be. I notice bodily agitations and mental agitations pass by like phenomena. If I am not keeping mindful watch on them, I tend to lose grip on the awareness and wrongly identify myself as these phenomena. By keeping a watch on them, I continuously understand that they are not "me" but simply forms of shifting elements within the five aggregates, whether coarse or subtle.

I don't know... but is it normal to be feeling these feelings? As if the body is constantly feeling burns... or perhaps discomfort and unpleasantness (if perceived)? It seems like I had a less sensitive mind before, and now I feel what has been going on in my body all along.

[Jhanananda]

This sounds like excellent mindful self-awareness.

[jay.validus]

Hey.

I agree with how the New Age can explains things.  I find they can explain things in some interesting ways, and you go, "Huh, how insightful".  Other times, it is too narrow of a viewpoint, and lacks the awareness put on the entire mind, body, and beyond structure.  Some of the people are not very enlightened, or do many activities that a heightened mind should be able to go pass, like drink and smoke.  What the heck?  Clearly all word and no substance.

I reside in that awareness presently. I can tell that it is not affected until I decide it to be. I notice bodily agitations and mental agitations pass by like phenomena. If I am not keeping mindful watch on them, I tend to lose grip on the awareness and wrongly identify myself as these phenomena. By keeping a watch on them, I continuously understand that they are not "me" but simply forms of shifting elements within the five aggregates, whether coarse or subtle.

This has always been a slippery slope for me.  Although I agree absolutely in keeping mindful of the bodily and mental phenomena and not identifying with them, I find in practice going through my daily life this has been tested often.  For example, someone steals from me and then lies about it.  Not only do all the memories arise, but so does all the emotion and it's mental and bodily components.  As much as I can stand back and not identify myself with it, staying one with the holy spirit, I find from experience I ultimate am staying too passive.  Sure, I could eliminate certain people from my life and avoid those situations from arising, but there times you need to deal with a situation.   

As much as I belief, experience, and have faith in not identifying oneself with the mind-body & constituents, I have found myself in situations where the holy spirit cannot help me.  I would in compassion and fear of hurting another choose not to react.  In the end, I was the one who got the shit end of the stick.  Although, as a side note, there are many times I seemed to have such great luck in what I have received. 

From my experience and work-in-progress viewpoint, I am starting to view the mind-body situation differently.  Although I still choose to not identify with it, separated from who I am, it is still an out-pour and expression of what I am.  I am starting to trust this process in a new way, even thought I am constantly going through situations find what the proper balance is between the two extremes.

I really do not know, but in each new situation I find I am going beyond what arises in the body and mental processes, and I may be choosing something completely different.  In a way I could call it transcending the ego, all the limits I may have, and directing a new course. 

[bodhimind]

Hey.

I agree with how the New Age can explains things.  I find they can explain things in some interesting ways, and you go, "Huh, how insightful".  Other times, it is too narrow of a viewpoint, and lacks the awareness put on the entire mind, body, and beyond structure.  Some of the people are not very enlightened, or do many activities that a heightened mind should be able to go pass, like drink and smoke.  What the heck?  Clearly all word and no substance.

Very true. Many of them also conduct psychological exercises in their heads and sometimes can be a work of imagination. I will not deny that some insights are also very similar to what we see in Buddhism, such as concepts of "karma", etc.

This has always been a slippery slope for me.  Although I agree absolutely in keeping mindful of the bodily and mental phenomena and not identifying with them, I find in practice going through my daily life this has been tested often.  For example, someone steals from me and then lies about it.  Not only do all the memories arise, but so does all the emotion and it's mental and bodily components.  As much as I can stand back and not identify myself with it, staying one with the holy spirit, I find from experience I ultimate am staying too passive.  Sure, I could eliminate certain people from my life and avoid those situations from arising, but there times you need to deal with a situation.   

As much as I belief, experience, and have faith in not identifying oneself with the mind-body & constituents, I have found myself in situations where the holy spirit cannot help me.  I would in compassion and fear of hurting another choose not to react.  In the end, I was the one who got the shit end of the stick.  Although, as a side note, there are many times I seemed to have such great luck in what I have received. 

From my experience and work-in-progress viewpoint, I am starting to view the mind-body situation differently.  Although I still choose to not identify with it, separated from who I am, it is still an out-pour and expression of what I am.  I am starting to trust this process in a new way, even thought I am constantly going through situations find what the proper balance is between the two extremes.

I really do not know, but in each new situation I find I am going beyond what arises in the body and mental processes, and I may be choosing something completely different.  In a way I could call it transcending the ego, all the limits I may have, and directing a new course.

I can relate to what you mean about "staying too passive", because I also once had the viewpoint that you had to completely disengage with the world. But doing that seems a little impractical after a while, because as you said, matters that need to be dealt with are in the physical world sometimes. Actions need to be taken and it is not simply within the mental realm and the divine where we live in. I find that insights can surface and be applied to the world as well.

I now take a more "body as tool" viewpoint instead. I repeatedly introspected and found increasingly that my body is a conglomerate of the four elemental properties, earth (nails/bones/muscles), fire (kundalini/body warmth), water (hormones/nerves/blood) and wind (breath/prana). In a way, it is a technology of the world, an interface that the ego uses to exhibit its actions onto the world, or for the world to exhibit its effects upon you. So yes, I agree with what you mean about it being an "out-pour and expression of what I am". It is "perceived as mine" but not "I". I also feel as if there is some kind of 'mental glue' between physical body and the mental thoughts. I just cannot identify what it is.

I have not reached an advanced stage as you have, so perhaps my insights are still premature. They always seem to develop or change subtly as I gain new insights. I cannot understand what it means to 'transcend the ego', but I am aware that the ego is organizing a bunch of mental functions and making this whole experience "exclusive". I still do not have the insight of seeing the divine, nor have I reached the level of merging with the cosmos or immaterial attainments, so I will continue to strive for liberation, correcting my practice as much as I can for now.

[jay.validus]

I now take a more "body as tool" viewpoint instead. I repeatedly introspected and found increasingly that my body is a conglomerate of the four elemental properties, earth (nails/bones/muscles), fire (kundalini/body warmth), water (hormones/nerves/blood) and wind (breath/prana). In a way, it is a technology of the world, an interface that the ego uses to exhibit its actions onto the world, or for the world to exhibit its effects upon you. So yes, I agree with what you mean about it being an "out-pour and expression of what I am". It is "perceived as mine" but not "I". I also feel as if there is some kind of 'mental glue' between physical body and the mental thoughts. I just cannot identify what it is.

Interesting.  I never thought about it as the four separate elements before.  I have always looked upon existence in four major ways: energy, emotions, the mind, and the body.  I guess this aligns with the four elements. 

I have not reached an advanced stage as you have, so perhaps my insights are still premature. They always seem to develop or change subtly as I gain new insights. I cannot understand what it means to 'transcend the ego', but I am aware that the ego is organizing a bunch of mental functions and making this whole experience "exclusive". I still do not have the insight of seeing the divine, nor have I reached the level of merging with the cosmos or immaterial attainments, so I will continue to strive for liberation, correcting my practice as much as I can for now.

Ah man, I am not at an advanced stage.  To me, advanced is getting to the immaterial every night, with it being lucid and vivid all the time.  This has been difficult for me to develop, because I find when the experiences gets intense, sometimes it feels like it fractures my soul.  It is hard dealing with myself when it feels like there are ten different people in my head, when I know it is all just me in the end.

When I say transcending the ego, you probably know what I mean.  For me, it is like I am seeing my body as many energetic structures and shapes, and they are all connected within each other.  Inside the energy is our thoughts, and when you step back enough you can see it playing out right in front of you, just like in meditation or daily life.  I find, when I am "transcending the ego" it is nothing more than seeing all the options internally available when faced with making a choice.  I see the body and mental connections as only an internal energy, and the knowing and feeling become much stronger.  Sometimes it feels like I am very out of my body and/or I don't exist.  When making a choice in this transcended state, it is not within these energetic structures, it seems to come from somewhere else.  Logic tells me it is only areas of the infinite subconscious I am not aware of.  Faith could say it comes from some higher aspect of myself.  I don't know.

[bodhimind]

This session was a little strange.

I heavily emphasized relaxation this time. I found out that the more relaxed I was, a static like feeling spread throughout my body. I was able to feel my breath thin out until it reached the point of being very subtle. At that point, i started to feel my abdominal muscle contract in reflex. I felt some wave of joy rising within me and a warm-hot feeling spread across my back. I felt it rise up to the back of my neck... then suddenly my neck started to itch.

I remembered Jhanananda saying not to identify with the body, i repeatedly reflected on not being the body. I let it go. Then it spread to the top of my head.

I started to hear... wobbling sounds, as if there were vibrations in the air. At least i thought it was a helicopter's propeller... or the sound of birds flapping their wings. It went whoop whoop whoop - until it grew more and more intense.

I panicked a little as this was new to me, and i realized that when i moved out of that state, the wobbling sound seemed to fade away. I'm curious about what that hot flush across my back was... is it kundalini?

[Sam Lim]

It does sounds like waves of pleasure coursing through your body and reaching the state of clairaudience. It does sound strange about the sound. As it is not a classic signs. Equanimity is important. Fear is also an inhibiting factor in anyone's progress. It seems like you are advancing in your practice. Do update us and keep up the good work.

[Jhanananda]

Yes, bodhimind, deep relaxation is an important skill for those to develop who wish to develop deep meditation, so keep it up.

As for the sound, it is new to me as well, but that does not mean that it is not within the range of charisms; however, it suggests more of a helicopter nearby.  If it keeps coming during your meditation sessions, and you find it intensifies during those sessions, then we shall have to accept it as a charism.  Please do keep us posted on your findings, as we are all researchers here, not just research subjects.

[bodhimind]

It seems like a one-off thing because I haven't experienced it since that day.

One thing I realized these days is that I tend to have somewhat of a static-electricity feeling around my whole body, particularly my hands. I bumped into a friend and he suddenly jumped back, clutching his hand, saying that he felt sharp pain from static. That was one, because another friend also felt it. The strange thing is that I did not rub my hands or been in a situation where I could build static electricity in my hands, so I have reason to think that it might have been my recent practices that caused it.

Also, I realized a problem I had with my practice. Since I was so focused on detachment from the physical body, I retreated and subconsciously drew myself inwards. Then I realized that to function in the physical world, I do have to construct "tools" or "conditions" to allow myself to act suitably through the body. I cannot be detached and act at the same time. I need to be involved with the whole process and stop trying to push any blame onto an "ego".

When I did this, I suddenly became more involved with life around, as if I was back to my childhood days. Everything seemed brighter, literally, it was as if there was some back-light in my eyes. When I stood in the train, I was sensitive to the swaying of the train, the minute rotation of the Earth and how everyone in the train seemed to be busy entertaining themselves in their minds. They were not truly living, but being engaged in fancy storytelling in their heads. As such, I felt as if they were creating their own troubles.

I realized that the access to blissfulness is already within, there is no need to seek pleasure outside. Nature cannot lie. Dishonesty is because it obscures the natural flow of nature, going against it. The mind tries to override nature, but it is clearly deluded. I suddenly see how the precept of not-lying falls in meaning with this principle of nature. I suddenly also identified this feeling of "extension" to be like metta-meditation which I once did. Lovingness radiates from the heart and becomes aware of beings around. I think I will keep up this mindful practice for a while.

Also, I realized that a lot of energy seems to go towards my digestion process when meditating. Perhaps i should regulate my diet with more stringent demands.

[Jhanananda]

It seems like a one-off thing because I haven't experienced it since that day.

There are a fair number of phenomena that arise during deep meditation, which are often not repeated.  These can be explained by the person who has discovered deep meditation might become psychic.  This at least has been my experience.

One thing I realized these days is that I tend to have somewhat of a static-electricity feeling around my whole body, particularly my hands.

The experience of the tactile charism can easily be interpreted as static electricity; however, I do not believe that there is an EMF component to it.  I am quite certain it is completely non-physical.

I bumped into a friend and he suddenly jumped back, clutching his hand, saying that he felt sharp pain from static. That was one, because another friend also felt it. The strange thing is that I did not rub my hands or been in a situation where I could build static electricity in my hands, so I have reason to think that it might have been my recent practices that caused it.

This might be a coincidence, but worth noting for longer observation.

Also, I realized a problem I had with my practice. Since I was so focused on detachment from the physical body, I retreated and subconsciously drew myself inwards. Then I realized that to function in the physical world, I do have to construct "tools" or "conditions" to allow myself to act suitably through the body. I cannot be detached and act at the same time. I need to be involved with the whole process and stop trying to push any blame onto an "ego".

When I did this, I suddenly became more involved with life around, as if I was back to my childhood days. Everything seemed brighter, literally, it was as if there was some back-light in my eyes. When I stood in the train, I was sensitive to the swaying of the train, the minute rotation of the Earth and how everyone in the train seemed to be busy entertaining themselves in their minds. They were not truly living, but being engaged in fancy storytelling in their heads. As such, I felt as if they were creating their own troubles.

This is true.  We call it here mindful-self awareness, which we believe is a central skill necessary to develop for deep meditation.  So, there are no spaced-out bliss bunnies here.

I realized that the access to blissfulness is already within, there is no need to seek pleasure outside. Nature cannot lie. Dishonesty is because it obscures the natural flow of nature, going against it. The mind tries to override nature, but it is clearly deluded. I suddenly see how the precept of not-lying falls in meaning with this principle of nature.

Yes, I too find the various fruit of the attainment of deep meditation is "natural."  This suggests that all of those who have not discovered deep meditation and its various fruit are most probably not living a natural life, but a deluded one.

I suddenly also identified this feeling of "extension" to be like metta-meditation which I once did. Lovingness radiates from the heart and becomes aware of beings around. I think I will keep up this mindful practice for a while.

As long as it pays off for you, then there is no reason to stop it.

Also, I realized that a lot of energy seems to go towards my digestion process when meditating. Perhaps i should regulate my diet with more stringent demands.

As soon as I stumbled upon the experience of deep meditation I began changing my diet.  My goal was to no have my diet reduce my experience of deep meditation.  So, it might take some time for you to experiment with your diet until you din something that works for you.

[jay.validus]

When I did this, I suddenly became more involved with life around, as if I was back to my childhood days. Everything seemed brighter, literally, it was as if there was some back-light in my eyes. When I stood in the train, I was sensitive to the swaying of the train, the minute rotation of the Earth and how everyone in the train seemed to be busy entertaining themselves in their minds. They were not truly living, but being engaged in fancy storytelling in their heads. As such, I felt as if they were creating their own troubles.

Yeah man! This is the way to live!

I have noticed that there is various levels to this though.  You can allow your mind to speak, even if you are in this state.  When seeing the world as a child, your mind works like a child.  It is very narrow focused and the attention is razor sharp on one thing.  For example, if I am focused on a flower, my world is that flower.  If I am focused on God in everything, then I see and feel God everywhere.  If I am focusing on an insecurity, then my whole life is that insecurity.

However, you can still know something without having to think it further to the surface.  I might explain this wrong the first time but it is otherwise very straight-forward.  From my observation, the mind has a progression, from what I observe as the divine (consciousness), to the body including the five senses, mental perception/judgement, mental structures, beliefs & emotions, and then rationalization.  Buddhism calls it the Five Aggregates, and it more or less falls into my observations and categorizations:

             (Buddhism Five Aggregates commonly understood: Rupa (body), vedana (sensation), sañña (perception), sankara (mental formations), viññana  (cognitinon)

This might be a little stoic of me, but I see great value in directing the mind while you are in various absorption states, or sometimes during meditation.  For example, I KNOW that directing my mind towards seeing the Divine in everything will bring a powerful and positive experience.  By the same token, directing my mind toward fear or evil will bring an equally powerful experience, albeit much more unpleasant.    I do this by feeling my way to where I want to go.  I allow myself to step back into the divine, then channel and direct where I would like to go.

Keep in mind, I am not describing something that can occur on the spot because I decree it so.   It's more I allow the "I", the rational part of our mind, to step aside and allow the divine part of ourselves to steer course.  It is still us in control, just a different part you need to surrender yourself too. 

Also, I realized that a lot of energy seems to go towards my digestion process when meditating. Perhaps i should regulate my diet with more stringent demands.

I find a nice simple diet works best for me.  Personally, I eat all four food groups, lightly spiced or bland.  I find this system works for me and my body.