Both my parents never openly said that they loved me, nor did they ever hug me. My father was a cold and stiff person. The best I got from him was a cold hand shack. He was a strict Roman Catholic, with a crucifix in the bedroom, uptight-middle-class, very right-wing conservative. He had a background in electrical engineering and worked in the civil service. My mother went with the flow but wasn't too keen on the religious stuff. But they did have other ways of showing that they supported me. But only on their own terms which were very narrow minded, as you can see. As for myself, I didn't mind hugging as long as it was genuine. Now I avoid it at all costs, since I must avoid viruses due to my liver disorder.
But if you have very little human contact, such as is my case, the best thing that one can do is practice metta towards oneself and others. It works. It's like giving yourself a big hug. There is a positive emotional after-glow that lasts for a while. The mind is a simple little thing. It almost believes anything you tell it. Arouse good thoughts about yourself, and you get good vibes. Obsessing over bad thoughts about yourself, and you get bad vibes. I think in part that this is what the Buddha meant by Right Effort. Many people in the mental health business just don't know this simple thing. Or if they do, they're awfully quiet about it as they write their prescriptions for antidepressants. So I like to tune my radio to the "Metta Station." That way I don't need to be hugged by anyone outside of myself. I have complete emotional autonomy. I enjoy my solitude. I love being alone. I'm a total hermit.
