Fruit of the Contemplative Life

Fruit of the contemplative life: => Right Livelihood => : Jhanon September 28, 2014, 12:17:42 AM

: Spanking
: Jhanon September 28, 2014, 12:17:42 AM
I've decided I need the opinion of the forum on this. What is your position on spanking children? Or just a moderate slap on the hand?

My position is that this causes the child to repress and pile conditioning on, leading to a closed and cold human. Under absolutely no circumstances is it acceptable. But that's my view, and I'm open to others. So far everyone I've ever discussed this with disagrees with me :D
: Re: Spanking
: Sam Lim September 28, 2014, 04:59:22 PM
This is something I watch often and practice and it works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJZClgJ7ZJ0
: Re: Spanking
: Jhanon October 03, 2014, 04:49:46 PM
A contemplation room, of course! My Mother called it "timeout", which I feel caused it to fall short of its purpose. I definitely intend to incorporate this, but at their younger age, they don't appear to understand. So, it looks like I'll have to wait until my daughter is two or three.

Thank you for this.
: Re: Spanking
: Cal October 03, 2014, 05:00:07 PM
Well, thats still pretty young for time-out to be effective, they dont understand that it is a punishment, and barely understand that they did anything wrong. @ 2-3 you should just keep her engaged constantly, that way there is no acting out. Now at 5, put her in time-out. Mine thinks time-out is the end of the world. Although when im around, I try to explain that there is a positive to everything, you just have to find it. Self reflection/contemplation as you put it. Yet, sadly, mine is only thinking about what shes not doing because of her punishment.
: Re: Spanking
: Jhanon October 03, 2014, 05:12:07 PM
Well, thats still pretty young for time-out to be effective, they dont understand that it is a punishment, and barely understand that they did anything wrong. @ 2-3 you should just keep her engaged constantly, that way there is no acting out. Now at 5, put her in time-out. Mine thinks time-out is the end of the world. Although when im around, I try to explain that there is a positive to everything, you just have to find it. Self reflection/contemplation as you put it. Yet, sadly, mine is only thinking about what shes not doing because of her punishment.

I actually saw one of these SuperNanny shows which is linked above, and it contained a two-year old who was constantly getting his own way. They put him to contemplation and resolved the issue. I'll try to find the video again.
: Re: Spanking
: Sam Lim October 03, 2014, 07:50:59 PM
I've got to make it clear. It's not punishment. It's disciplining.
: Re: Spanking
: Jhanon October 03, 2014, 11:02:20 PM
I've got to make it clear. It's not punishment. It's disciplining.

THANK YOU. I was struggling to express that.
: Re: Spanking
: Cal October 03, 2014, 11:51:24 PM
Yea the wording and their following actions, differ greatly. I will definitely keep discipline in mind. It will allow me to keep a much broader goal in mind, rather than "cause and effect". Hmmm, I'll speak to her so that she may come to understanding of her own, I'll guide her discipline. Very interesting, Thank you gandarloda.
: Re: Spanking
: Jhanananda November 11, 2014, 11:36:55 PM
I just noticed this thread.  I raised 2 children who were nothing like the youngest daughter in this SuperNanny series, link above.  So, I was fortunate enough not to have to deal with such a problem child. 

To me proper child rearing begins before conception.  What I mean by this, is the children that we give birth to reflect where we are at at the moment of conception.  So, if we are a rigorous, self aware contemplative, and our mate is also, then we are going to have well behaved, and respectful children.

After a night's reflection, the other thing I wish to say about spanking children, which I am not against; however, in most cases it is the parents who need the spanking, when a child is acting out.
: Re: Spanking
: Jhanon November 14, 2014, 04:27:06 PM
That makes sense of pretty much everything. Lol. Thanks