Michel's meditation experiences

[Michel]

I thought I'd post this private email discussion between me and Jhanananda regarding my meditation experience for everyone to see.

His comments are in italics.

Quote from: Michel on Today at 07:14:42 AM

 ... will do 4 one hour sits today. Although I'm not making any real progress,


There is danger of trying too hard, and making meditation practice boring.  So, try to avoid wearing it out.

Quote from: Michel on Today at 07:14:42 AM

I'm learning not to worry about it. I am learning to let go and relax by doing absolutely nothing. I just watch the show as if I'm in the eye of a  hurricane in a completely out of control mind and senses of the body. I surrender to everything. 


This is skilful means.


Quote from: Michel on Today at 07:14:42 AM

sometimes there is a strong pressure sensation in my head when I let go. It's like the magnetic repulsion of two magnets of the same polarity. This energy manifests as a pulsating swirl in my head, sometimes it feels as if my head is being stretched. Sometimes there is a strong downward pressure at the roof of my mouth. The breath becomes as smooth as silk.


This sounds like jhana-nimitta, so practice whatever meditation technique gets you here, then see if you can make these sensations your new meditation object and let go of the previous meditation object/technique.  The more that you can keep your attention upon the charisms (jhana-nimitta) the deeper you are going to go, and thus the more pleasant your meditation will be.


Quote from: Michel on Today at 07:14:42 AM

I just need to be content  with whatever is going on in the meditation. I've discovered that any desire to have a good meditation leads to frustration and discouragement and suffering. The secret, I think, is to be content with whatever arises. It's taken me a year to get to this point.

In the next week, I'll post a detailed account of my experiences.



It sounds like you are making progress, and avoiding frustration with meditation is skilful means.

This message could have been sent to the forum, and it would have helped others in your position, or with less practice.  So, unless you feel that you have very private issues to discuss, I prefer to have these discussions in public, because they help other negotiate the same internal terrain that you are covering, and it inspires people to meditate for rigorously.

Keep up the good work, Jhananda

[Jhanananda]

Thank-you Michel for posting your meditation experiences here for the benefit of others.  I receive many private emails from people about their meditation experiences.  I respond to them, but I started this forum, so that other could benefit from the experiences and practices of others, and from my comments, as well as the comments from other skilled contemplatives, such as: Michael Hawkins, Sam and Stu.

In fact, Stu and I are going on retreat starting Monday, so I expect not to get back online after this Monday until after the first.  So, I hope the rest of you, most notably Michael Hawkins and Sam, will fill in while I am away.

[Michel]

But, focusing on meditation and mindfulness is definitely the right choice. One of these days, during a meditation, youre going to feel that tactile sensation in your hands or feet spread elsewhere. Youre going to direct all of your attention to it, and be thoughtless, and rest there, and it will go further.

Those blissful sensations are spreading weakly and sometimes strongly throughout the body. I feel like a rocket about to break the gravitational pull of the Earth - but I never do. I'm right on the cusp I feel.

Think of what it is to sleep, its like turning off a switch. Your conciousness turns off. Imagine emulating this, but still being aware, and not actually asleep. Theres no anxiety or expectation, no thought or feeling, its bliss as you slip into sleep. Rest in the tactile sensation, emulate what it is to sleep, but be aware, know what youre feeling without feeling it, and rest in it. As thoughts arise, do not entertain them or drift with them, say in your mind that its a thought. Recognize them arising, name them, and then recognize it fading. In time, youre thoughts will slow, and stop.

I remember you talking about a pressure in your forhead, when you feel this, look with your eyes closed, you may see sparkles or static under your eyelids, you can rest in those as well. Just remember, it doesnt matter what they are, they just are.

By coincidence for the last six months or so, I have been experimenting with imagining that I'm falling asleep during meditation. It is a way of letting go and getting into a relaxed state. I repeatedly use the word sleep as a command mantra on the in-breath. I anchor my awareness on my feet since they are sensitive to bliss. Waves of bliss (pleasurable sensations) spread throughout my body. I have to be careful not to fall asleep. I imagine bright light in order to avoid this problem.

I also use another command mantra alternatively with the sleep command mantra, in order to avoid grasping and aversion to any sensations that are pleasant or unpleasant respectively. The word I use is content. Why? Because I think being content in the present moment with whatever sensations you experience is the antidote for grasping and aversion for any pleasant or unpleasant sensations. This seems to work for me.

Now I need to get the balance right. These command mantras maybe distracting me. They're like training wheels for now. Now I'm putting more emphasis on relaxing, as if I'm falling asleep, because of your comments, Cal.

The pressure in the head is alleviated by using my feet as meditation objects instead of the breath. But I sometimes use the breath when sensation even out throughout the body because sometimes I get stronger bliss from it.

Anyways... One of these days, Alice! POW!! Right in the kisser.

Thanks for your pointers, Cal. I really appreciate it.

[Jhanananda]

Michel, it sounds like you are onto it.