Michael's Blog

[Michael Hawkins]

Quote from: Michael Hawkins on January 17, 2024, 05:01:12 pm

It just takes regular practice and accepting some meditation sessions will be better than others.

Thank you, dear old friend.  Having fully returned to the contemplative practice that served so well years ago, I am settled in for the long haul.  Meditation puts the present moment right in my face, and there's nothing more that I could ask than that.  When it deepens, I know I'm in home.

[Michael Hawkins]

Hello gentlemen,

I am really appreciating the dialogue here. Thank you Michael for your sutta readings, I will definitely be listening to those as they come. Music helps me a lot as well to get into the proper mind state to relax with concentration. I like Gregorian chants as well and female polyphonic singing. Its not necessary but it definitely helps when I am stressed from life, or simply want to dive deep with a sense of religious atmosphere.

Thank you

Hello rougeleader,

Lately I've been listening to a lot of the music I used to love in the 70's and 80's, into the 90's - not necessarily contemplative, although some of it is (like some of the piano jazz that's been coming across, or classical pieces here and there).  For whatever reason, it's loosening me up in my emotional centers, so I can let go of my armoring, getting to a self-honest and raw place.  None of this is by design, it's just part of the natural unfoldment.

[Jhanananda]

Good to hear from you again, rougeleader115. I am glad you are getting some inspiration out of our recent dialogs.

Thanks, Michael, for reminding me about some of the inspirational music I was listening to in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I recall listening to a lot of New Age music during those decades, as well as medieval music.

[rougeleader115]

I completely agree with the nostalgia and loosening of emotions. I have been doing layers of deep dives into my music past as well. This led me to a lot of very obscure video game original soundtracks from my childhood. Those soundtracks made me truly feel like a hero and close to divinity. Some of it sounds like a rainbow dance utopia in heaven that never made its way to earth but through the music. Some of those video game soundtrack artists in the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s made some extremely unique sounds and compositions that I don’t necessarily hear in other places. So finding those was a nice treat. It was also nice to remember I have been striving to understand these feelings even during my naive and more innocent years.

[Tad]

Hi Michael,

It is always interesting to me to learn about lifestyles that spiritual people live and how they make ends meet in this world while still maintaining significant time for practice. Are you able to share your experiences on this matter?

[Michael Hawkins]

Hi Tad,

Well, I am currently hanging on by the skin of my teeth.  I've been living on my own for almost two years now - divorce will be final at the end of March.  I managed to find a relatively inexpensive trailer to live in on a farm at the edge of town.  There are other bills, though - insurance, internet, electric, gas, food, the normal stuff that everyone has to take responsibility for.  I have been an Instacart shopper/delivery person since April 2020, at the beginning of the plague.  It was a pretty lucrative endeavor at that time, but as the economy has tanked, so has this form of gig work.  So, I am losing money month-to-month, gradually spending what little savings I have.  I put myself out there as an astrologer, which brings in the occasional paying client - that does help in a pinch, for sure.  I'm four years away from the potential for drawing early Social Security, and am currently looking for some cost-cutting measures (and financial relief) through government programs here in Colorado - so we'll see.

All of this is to say, with Instacart I'm able to maintain a daily contemplative practice, and I can do my Dhamma study in the car while waiting for orders.  Living alone, there are no distractions, a situation that is really conducive to going deep and staying there.  Lately I've noticed charisms arising while I'm out and about, so I actually end up being meditated while sitting in the car.  I hope I can find a way to stay independent like this and still keep a roof overhead.

[Tad]

Michael,

Thanks for sharing. It is hard to escape limitations of materiality. Even living simplified life, taking care of basic needs of physical body seems to consume considerable amount of time. I wonder if there are better worlds for spiritual practice. But Buddhist texts say that heavens are too blissful to practice something like N8P. I guess the exception would be pure abodes.

[Michael Hawkins]

Michael,

Thanks for sharing. It is hard to escape limitations of materiality. Even living simplified life, taking care of basic needs of physical body seems to consume considerable amount of time. I wonder if there are better worlds for spiritual practice. But Buddhist texts say that heavens are too blissful to practice something like N8P. I guess the exception would be pure abodes.

Tad,

I quit working "normal" jobs in 2011, when I had the opportunity to engage my father-in-law's retirement business buying and selling mountain properties in southern Colorado.  He died a few years ago, then my marriage hit the rocks, and I ended up doing gig work.  I notice that I'm sort of "ruined" in terms of getting regular employment, almost as though I got a taste of early retirement and can't go back (although you never know, of course).  Looking at it from the positive angle, I'm astonished to have survived this long, and a part of me begrudgingly trusts that the Universe has my back, one way or another.  We'll see what happens, I guess, but I tend to believe that the money-challenge is part of the deal for contemplatives in today's world - it really separates those who MUST follow a contemplative path from those who are content to dabble.  I've never had an actual desire for financial wealth and wouldn't know what to do with it if I had it.  I do, however, have a desire for my basic needs to be met, so that I can do my practice with as little existential anxiety as possible.

[Michael Hawkins]

Hello contemplative friends.

I just uploaded a new video, this time a recitation of the Mahasatipatthana Sutta (DN 22).  That leaves the Kayagata-sati Sutta as the fourth Phala Nikaya text that I plan to record - we'll see when inspiration hits for that one.

https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2024/02/02/mahasatipatthana-sutta-digha-nikaya-22/

[Jhanananda]

Thank you, Michael, for your excellent reading of the Maha-satipatthana sutta.

[Michael Hawkins]

The time finally arrived for me to recite the fourth of four Phala Nikaya Suttas, the Kayagatasati Sutta.  Here's a link to the blog post: https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2024/02/22/the-kayagatasati-sutta-majjhima-nikaya-119/

[Jhanananda]

Thank you, Michael, for another excellent reading of the 4 suttas on the practice of meditation that are found in the two largest volumes of the Pali Canon. This sutta is so useful because it is about using the body as a vehicle, or gate, for developing deep meditation, which, as you know, is called ‘samma-samadhi’ in the Pali Canon. It is a wonder how all of the famous meditation teachers in Buddhism didn’t know anything about these suttas, and their implication.

[Michael Hawkins]

Thank you, Michael, for another excellent reading of the 4 suttas on the practice of meditation that are found in the two largest volumes of the Pali Canon. This sutta is so useful because it is about using the body as a vehicle, or gate, for developing deep meditation, which, as you know, is called ‘samma-samadhi’ in the Pali Canon. It is a wonder how all of the famous meditation teachers in Buddhism didn’t know anything about these suttas, and their implication.

Thank you, Jeffrey.  As I mentioned in a comment on my Samma-Samadhi blog, there are rumblings of a new local meditation group, as I've begun to sit with a friend who participated in the first one 15 years ago.  Slowly but surely, the parts of me that are worth recovering seem to be recovering.  Reading these four Suttas has been inspiration and instructional, grounding me in a rigorous practice that changes everything.

[Jhanananda]

I'm glad to hear that you are making progress in your recovery and a local meditation group is coming together for you.  Please keep us informed of your, and its, progress.

[Michael Hawkins]

I lost a loved one a few days ago.  It took a couple days for the shock to turn into pain and suffering, and yesterday was a challenge to say the least.  It offers an invaluable chance to practice.  This morning I journaled my way into a blog post about the process.

https://rightabsorption.wordpress.com/2024/03/06/the-dukkha-of-grieving/