Bodhimind's Blog

[bodhimind]

I am truly sickened by the inflation of human ego, especially in the field of science. It seems that science has shifted towards a quest for utilization instead of knowledge, fuelled by monetary interests. I almost vomited seeing the dead rat fetuses in a lab class, still perfectly preserved in their rat wombs. Apparently it was considered ethical to remove these fetuses before they were 'big' enough. To me, they had the 5 sense organs intact and had every sign of being a live being. Another one that really got me irked was how they killed the lab rats by twisting their necks (cervical dislocation). I swear to myself that if I am ever forced to kill a being for the sake of science, I will rather quit the field and find a more humane livelihood.

What gives one the right to end a life for another? Even now, while I used to just clap mosquitoes or step on ants, I no longer do them because I recognize the life inside all of them. I feel life buzzing around in nature. It feels like maybe, humans have been stifled in cement walls for too long.

I am seeing signs of greed everywhere. But perhaps this greed is a misdirected effort. From what I understand, greed is a desire, a drive, to fulfil oneself. But since they indulge in transient wants and are driven about by their own physiology, habits and thought patterns, they can never be satisfied. Instead, if one shifts that effort towards enlightenment, this end of suffering will not be impermanent.

---

Yesterday, I realized that my emotional state moved along with other people. Seeing that anxiety rose in me, I told myself - I see it, therefore it has no power over me. In that way, I allowed the 'anxious energy' to dissipate. I then shifted my heart towards that of joy and listened for the auditory charism.

It seems that no matter how much one stays in jhana, if mindfulness is not kept 24 hours, there is always the possibility for "Mara" to come in from the 6 sense doors. Therefore, I must remind myself that these things may be mine, but are not me.

It sometimes feels like even every single task around me is like a grain of sand floating past. Or perhaps waves that rise and fall away. Ebbs and flows. Birth and death. Nothing is ever constant. It also makes me wonder why we live a physical life at all, since everything is smoke and mirrors.

Without pleasure there is no pain, and without pain there is no pleasure. If I recall in a sutta, the Buddha said that one must see pleasure as stressful, and pain as an arrow. (Even neutral feelings, I think?)

The so-called karma affect how we act, speak and think - But if these things are also produced from transient conditions, then even karma itself is baseless. Only the "I am" seems to be there. But for the sole purpose of interacting with the world, we need to abide by its laws. Am I misunderstanding something though?

[Jhanananda]

I am truly sickened by the inflation of human ego, especially in the field of science. It seems that science has shifted towards a quest for utilization instead of knowledge, fuelled by monetary interests. I almost vomited seeing the dead rat fetuses in a lab class, still perfectly preserved in their rat wombs. Apparently it was considered ethical to remove these fetuses before they were 'big' enough. To me, they had the 5 sense organs intact and had every sign of being a live being. Another one that really got me irked was how they killed the lab rats by twisting their necks (cervical dislocation). I swear to myself that if I am ever forced to kill a being for the sake of science, I will rather quit the field and find a more humane livelihood.

What gives one the right to end a life for another? Even now, while I used to just clap mosquitoes or step on ants, I no longer do them because I recognize the life inside all of them. I feel life buzzing around in nature.

While I readily swat mosquitoes, and flies, not just because they are an annoyance, but they are also a disease vector; nonetheless, I agree with you regarding to avoiding harm to other creatures, even as "lowly" as the ant. My experience of biology class was similar to yours, and so was my reaction, so after my first biology class I chose another career path.

It feels like maybe, humans have been stifled in cement walls for too long.

I am seeing signs of greed everywhere. But perhaps this greed is a misdirected effort. From what I understand, greed is a desire, a drive, to fulfil oneself. But since they indulge in transient wants and are driven about by their own physiology, habits and thought patterns, they can never be satisfied. Instead, if one shifts that effort towards enlightenment, this end of suffering will not be impermanent.

Interesting rant that you are on.  I find myself often in the same place.  I have spent some time reflecting upon why humans think it is right to rape and pillage (literally or figuratively) their way through life.  It seems to me that it mostly goes to the fact that humans are aggressive predators, and the prime directive for any species is to secure a food resource, then defend it, then go out and find a mate, and defend it.

As we negotiate the levels of depth in meditation we will overcome this species oriented biological imperative.

Yesterday, I realized that my emotional state moved along with other people. Seeing that anxiety rose in me, I told myself - I see it, therefore it has no power over me. In that way, I allowed the 'anxious energy' to dissipate. I then shifted my heart towards that of joy and listened for the auditory charism.

This is how I engage in a mindful contemplative life, and it has born fruit for me, so it should bear fruit for others.

It seems that no matter how much one stays in jhana, if mindfulness is not kept 24 hours, there is always the possibility for "Mara" to come in from the 6 sense doors. Therefore, I must remind myself that these things may be mine, but are not me.

I too have found this to be true.

It sometimes feels like even every single task around me is like a grain of sand floating past. Or perhaps waves that rise and fall away. Ebbs and flows. Birth and death. Nothing is ever constant. It also makes me wonder why we live a physical life at all, since everything is smoke and mirrors.

Without pleasure there is no pain, and without pain there is no pleasure. If I recall in a sutta, the Buddha said that one must see pleasure as stressful, and pain as an arrow. (Even neutral feelings, I think?)

The so-called karma affect how we act, speak and think - But if these things are also produced from transient conditions, then even karma itself is baseless. Only the "I am" seems to be there. But for the sole purpose of interacting with the world, we need to abide by its laws. Am I misunderstanding something though?

Yes, I agree, the more I find myself in the immaterial domains, then the more life seems like nothing but "smoke and mirrors" as you put it.  It is a delusion.  The Indic religions use the term "Mara" for this delusion.  However, the mendicant walks away from the "laws" of man and nature.

[bodhimind]

Interesting rant that you are on.  I find myself often in the same place.  I have spent some time reflecting upon why humans think it is right to rape and pillage (literally or figuratively) their way through life.  It seems to me that it mostly goes to the fact that humans are aggressive predators, and the prime directive for any species is to secure a food resource, then defend it, then go out and find a mate, and defend it.

As we negotiate the levels of depth in meditation we will overcome this species oriented biological imperative.

That's very interesting. I was having classes on biological evolutionary ecology where they talked about how nearly all instincts have an evolutionary basis to increase "fitness" so that the species can continue its genetic lineage. And it seems really strange how it is all based off the template of DNA. Perhaps the human animal is coded in that way, as if one were a robot. And if we aren't more awake, we tend to move along with this programming.

In the mythology of Hercules, they say he is half-divine and half-animal (half-mortal/half-immortal), perhaps they were also referring to this. Just a small suspicion, but I suspect that the twelve labours of Hercules represent some form of spiritual progress towards fruit. Hercules ends with becoming immortal.

Yes, I agree, the more I find myself in the immaterial domains, then the more life seems like nothing but "smoke and mirrors" as you put it.  It is a delusion.  The Indic religions use the term "Mara" for this delusion.  However, the mendicant walks away from the "laws" of man and nature.

It becomes more bewildering as to why a physical life even comes about... I feel that lives are so short. In a flash, the years past and whatever we do in between just vanish and the habits, cravings, graspings all continue on to the next life if one did not attain any fruit. I'm starting to understand why one would move away from participation in this (mad) world and put all focus in not having a rebirth. Who knows whether one will see the dharma again in the next life?

----

Yesterday night, I had a few instances of OOBE. I meditated to perhaps third/fourth jhana, where I felt expansiveness and loss of perception of the body. However, the OOBE only happened when I went to bed right after the session.

This time, I immediately noticed the screeching ringing in both ears when I suddenly projected outwards. I could even see. It was the same case where I simply used my will and poof, I'm out. I did not backflip this time.

I projected once, then I found that I tended to go back into my body. So I projected again, and then I soon found myself in my body again. I kept doing this for a while. However, I lost the battle to torpor and fell unconscious to sleep. I should have got up after those experiences to write down a record of what happened, because now my memories are fogged up after the sleep. It seems as if the body tries to cover up memories of what happened... probably why we forget things after waking up.

How did I project? I'll try to piece in some memory fragments here, hopefully I can piece it together and remember how I did it again. It was weird, because firstly I no longer had sensations of my physical body (I think it is key because it describes fourth jhana). Then it was simply a matter of willing myself out. Then I felt my limbs (or astral body limbs) float upwards... It also seemed as if I could see these hands float without my eyes open. I felt my whole body float up, as if I was tied to a helium balloon by the hands.

I believe that I still need a lot of training in the using of this other body, however. I tried to project myself towards people that I knew. I also tried whisking over to Jhanananda to see if it would work (lol). Nothing seemed to happen though. I was just focusing on the photo, maybe I had to will myself to teleport/fly? However, what I could do, mostly, was change myself from a horizontal to a more vertical position. I felt so strange navigating in this body... almost as if I was swimming with my mind (is that a right way to describe?)

How do you retain length of being in the OOBE? I seem to have only short periods of being out of the body, before I snap back into my body and try again.

[bodhimind]

Just another record of my practice...

- I found moving meditation an extremely effective way to keep torpor down while going into jhana quite quickly. I will be permanently keeping it in my daily routine. Letting go into the tranquil mind and keeping down cognitive activity was one way I found to let me "ride" the bliss and energy movements on.

- I also realized that perhaps the reason why people were cognitive - was to break existing patterns and then the aim after all that cognitive ability is still to ride on with the divine.

- I included morning sessions of about 1.5 hours every morning and realized that it gave me an impeccable calm, as well as energy moving about my body. I feel very refreshed and ecstatic and this permeates to the rest of my day. I find that it rids me of the need for caffeine.

- I am finally able to hear 'rushing water' as an auditory charism, while it previously appeared as a high-pitched ringing sound for me.

- I found group meditations to significantly increase the depth of absorption rather quickly. This seemed to happen over Skype as well, to a smaller degree. It was amazing, how the energy of group meditations was so powerful - I felt the bliss literally pouring and spreading throughout my body and I went into non-duality within estimatedly, 15-20 minutes...

- I started fasting to a small degree and I find that when meditating on an empty stomach (though not too hungry), it seemed to allow the bliss to stay and become more prominent.

- Another problem was that if I took in 'junk food' like Tim Tams, I would immediately notice a discomfort in my body, appearing in several places after the gut.

- I am better able to keep mindfulness on the sensations. I now clearly see 'joy' in the first jhana as something that 'spikes' and fades away into a different quality.

- I am still working on maintaining lucidity in my sleep. It seems to be a rather difficult task for me. I will work on my dream recall first, before being able to maintain lucidity in my dream cycle. I do get occasional dreams where I get a high degree of lucidity, but I cannot seem to maintain it. Perhaps this is linked to mindfulness, so I must work harder.

- I also did some Qigong, as per Sam's advice, and I feel very refreshed and healthy, it's as if I have an internal reserve of energy.

[Alexander]

Thanks, bodhimind, for posting this.

[Jhanananda]

It sounds like bodhimind is finding a lifestyle that has fruitful results.  I hope he keeps it up.

[bodhimind]

I suddenly realized what I was stuck at...

It was weird because I had a flashback to when I was a child, sitting in the car. I realized I could switch from subconscious to conscious control of my breath, but not my heartbeat. When doing this, I was afraid that if I stopped using my mind to start my breaths, then I would not breathe and die. Then I decided to just leave it - at that point I remembered an intense question, "Who am I?" And at this point I somehow thought that I had forgotten something. While closing my eyes I saw a bright orb/light. (I suddenly realized that this might be the transitory orb that Jhanananda was talking about all along.)

So this means that at that time, I somehow already practised mindfulness of my breath, as well as with other aspects of my body, but mainly the breath. And having that want to remember what I was drove me into that orb-like vision.

I now understand why as a child I suddenly quit all "addictions" - dropping activities like computer use, playing games, TV shows, foods - I also understand why I was severely depressed and nearly nihilistic at that point of time. I also realize that the young me had a really deep insight but somehow this knowledge was lost as I navigated my juvenile period. Now having this sharp recall, I suddenly understand the anapanasati sutta and mahasatipatthana sutta...

Yesterday, I lay down in meditation and had a few insights that helped:

• The mind is often messy and turbulent/multi-pointed if mindfulness is not kept, so the first thing is normally to stabilize the mental-state by focusing on something specific, such as the breath. With fewer things fighting for attention, the mind starts to calm down and rest.
• I find that it does not mean discerning the "length" of the breath, but simply placing the attention on the breath as long as it is there. So what worked for me was simply attending to the breath when it is there, until either inhalation or exhalation ends. I did not pay particular attention to the cognitive details of how long or short it was.
• Having established the stabilization of attention, mindfulness of body is also established. I did a body scan and started from my toes up. Imagining melting away my body into peaceful relaxedness helped a lot. I used exhalation to remove a lot of tension in the body while correcting my posture. This is probably what "being sensitive and calming bodily agitation" meant.
• By perceiving the body as a third-person observer, I knew of the impermanence of the body and as a shell.
• Then from this relaxation came a very faint joyous, peaceful and luxuriant sensation. This must be what "being sensitive to bliss and joy" meant in the second mindfulness reference. It started off as something cooling, then when "spreading" or "saturating" it felt like "bath powder being kneaded with water, again and again"
• I simply was mindful of the spreading, of the cooling, of the arising of the relaxing quality that was perceived as pleasant. Joy rose. I also experienced fading of the discomfort that was perceived as unpleasant. However, I could not really perceive anything that was "neutral".
• At this point it felt like my body was whirling, sinking, moving - it was more of an internal sensation, rather than a physical sensation. It felt similar to falling into a deep sleep.
• Then the stream of images appeared. Faint faces - mostly hypnagogic images coming from a background of blackness. I localized this to be not at the eyelids nor upwards, but as if it came from something behind the eyes (projecting forwards on a mental screen). I remembered how it was like to dream and this alllowed me to see the images more clearly.
• At this point the stupor increased.
• Perhaps this was the third cornerstone. I then worked on the mind, being sensitive to mental agitations, which were the random thoughts and images that came out. I then tried to calm them down, as if it was a top losing its speed.
• I felt that when I focused on the mind stream, I lost awareness of my entire body, as if I "zoomed into" the mental aspect.
• I also found that if I tried to "enlarge" that small picture of the mind stream such that it feels up the entire mental screen, it makes the turbulence even stronger than before.
• There was a very bright light that flashed at some point.
• However, I am still unable to lucidly detach from the body. I will continue to work on it.

There is a part in the anapana sutta that I still cannot relate to my experience, so I was hoping someone could clarify it:

[8]     One trains oneself to breathe in calming mental agitation, and to breathe out calming mental agitation.

"[9]    One trains oneself to breathe in sensitive to the mind, and to breathe out sensitive to the mind.

[10]    One trains oneself to breathe in satisfying the mind, and to breathe out satisfying the mind.

[11]    One trains oneself to breathe in steadying the mind, and to breathe out steadying the mind.

[12]    One trains oneself to breathe in releasing the mind, and to breathe out releasing the mind.

"[13]  One trains oneself to breathe in (mindful of) inconstancy, and to breathe out focusing on inconstancy.

[14]    One trains oneself to breathe in mindful of dispassion [literally, fading], and to breathe out mindful of dispassion.

[15]    One trains oneself to breathe in mindful of cessation, and to breathe out focusing on cessation (emptiness).

[16]    One trains oneself to breathe in focusing on relinquishment, and to breathe out focusing on relinquishment.

I seem to do well until the mental agitation part. From that part onward it gets a little unrelatable. Or perhaps I already did "dispassion/fading" unknowingly? It did feel as if I was moving into emptiness. Does "relinquishment" relate to the OBE?

[Cal]

I suddenly realized what I was stuck at...

It was weird because I had a flashback to when I was a child, sitting in the car. I realized I could switch from subconscious to conscious control of my breath, but not my heartbeat. When doing this, I was afraid that if I stopped using my mind to start my breaths, then I would not breathe and die. Then I decided to just leave it - at that point I remembered an intense question, "Who am I?" And at this point I somehow thought that I had forgotten something. While closing my eyes I saw a bright orb/light. (I suddenly realized that this might be the transitory orb that Jhanananda was talking about all along.)

My experience with this was much like a collision. My entire environment changed, but only for an instant, to that of sheer luminosity and brilliance. It happened much in the way you described, but a little different. My question was not "Who am I?" but "Where am I from?". Also, I was an adult.

As to the embolden, I've read accounts, and have had similar experiences with this. One might be surprised to know that in the deepest in-body meditation experience, this threshold becomes apparent. I believe ones body literally stops breathing, thus allowing you to become separated from it. You obviously do not die, but become released from the body. The body just puts itself on auto-pilot while you're gone.

I now understand why as a child I suddenly quit all "addictions" - dropping activities like computer use, playing games, TV shows, foods - I also understand why I was severely depressed and nearly nihilistic at that point of time. I also realize that the young me had a really deep insight but somehow this knowledge was lost as I navigated my juvenile period. Now having this sharp recall, I suddenly understand the anapanasati sutta and mahasatipatthana sutta...

I also became quite nihilistic after this experience, without the rejection of religion. I also dropped everything. A year or so after the experience, with the assistance of other unsettling things, I dropped the idea of religion, only to regain it after realizing that I could not remove myself from the charisms. This also served to dissolve any remaining doubts that still lingered about validity. Thankfully, the charisms did not leave me, as this world would be much different without them.

• Then the stream of images appeared. Faint faces - mostly hypnagogic images coming from a background of blackness. I localized this to be not at the eyelids nor upwards, but as if it came from something behind the eyes (projecting forwards on a mental screen). I remembered how it was like to dream and this alllowed me to see the images more clearly.
• At this point the stupor increased.
• Perhaps this was the third cornerstone. I then worked on the mind, being sensitive to mental agitations, which were the random thoughts and images that came out. I then tried to calm them down, as if it was a top losing its speed.
• I felt that when I focused on the mind stream, I lost awareness of my entire body, as if I "zoomed into" the mental aspect.
• I also found that if I tried to "enlarge" that small picture of the mind stream such that it feels up the entire mental screen, it makes the turbulence even stronger than before.
• There was a very bright light that flashed at some point.
• However, I am still unable to lucidly detach from the body. I will continue to work on it.

You're describing a "teetering" of the second and third jhanas. I experience this at times as well. With me, I become anxious or afraid. I've found while resting in the visual field that you can actually move energy to the third-eye area and gain some clarity there-in. However, this will not help you in progressing in the session. It is better to only "observe" what is there, and not grasp at it. Move your awareness to tactile sensation elsewhere until it has fully engulfed the body. Eventually, as you follow the tactile sensation, and you do not grasp at it, you'll gain a complete awareness of your body, including the visual field.

There is a part in the anapana sutta that I still cannot relate to my experience, so I was hoping someone could clarify it:

[8]     One trains oneself to breathe in calming mental agitation, and to breathe out calming mental agitation.

"[9]    One trains oneself to breathe in sensitive to the mind, and to breathe out sensitive to the mind.

[10]    One trains oneself to breathe in satisfying the mind, and to breathe out satisfying the mind.

[11]    One trains oneself to breathe in steadying the mind, and to breathe out steadying the mind.

[12]    One trains oneself to breathe in releasing the mind, and to breathe out releasing the mind.

"[13]  One trains oneself to breathe in (mindful of) inconstancy, and to breathe out focusing on inconstancy.

[14]    One trains oneself to breathe in mindful of dispassion [literally, fading], and to breathe out mindful of dispassion.

[15]    One trains oneself to breathe in mindful of cessation, and to breathe out focusing on cessation (emptiness).

[16]    One trains oneself to breathe in focusing on relinquishment, and to breathe out focusing on relinquishment.

I seem to do well until the mental agitation part. From that part onward it gets a little unrelatable. Or perhaps I already did "dispassion/fading" unknowingly? It did feel as if I was moving into emptiness. Does "relinquishment" relate to the OBE?

Find the relation between the two. One trains oneself to breathe in "air", and to breathe out "air". Simplify. The goal is only to recognize what it is.

[Jhanananda]

You have made very good progress, bodhimind, and your experiences in your childhood show that you are most probably a reincarnated mystic.  You will figure it out just fine.

Cal has made great progress as well.  Thank-you for helping out.  Soon, with mystics like you two, I will not be needed here any more.

[bodhimind]

Thank you for those kind words. I hope I can progress well.

---

I am getting orgasms across my body continuously. It seems to move around the back of my neck and head, spreading to my shoulders. They move to my hands. Then to my heart area. It is as if I am showering in a cool spring water. Sometimes they localize around the right side of my body. I can then see an increased blood flow to the right side of my body, such as an increase in redness. They do not bring any general health problems so I feel ok.

This especially happens when: (1) I pay attention to charisms... (2) I hear a certain beautiful music... (3) I eat certain types of food... I am not sure why it happens that way. Perhaps I just became more sensitive to blissfulness, if that is possible. Also, they seem to move along meridians...

I also found that I do not react as negatively to things. I was in the lift when there was a power outage and the whole lift shut down suddenly with a violent jerk. I pressed the bell and waited for a response. But seeing that it was dark and there was nothing else I could do, I decided to just meditate on the floor. The lift maintenance man was quite surprised to see how non-reacting I was when he cranked the door open after twenty to thirty minutes... I simply bided him a thank you and walked away.

Today's meditation brought a strange feeling. I felt as if my body was as soft as a baby. The posture was quite stable and it felt as if I had no bones. Vibrations was fast to come.

It feels as if the physical body is some kind of observatory robot, where I can only sit inside a command center and watch the feedback on the monitors as to what is going on outside. I see sensations, perceptions, mental "patterns" and sensory data flickering around... but they just aren't the "me". Or actually.. there isn't even a "me" to watch, because that thing is on the screen too. Just writing this down because that's sometimes how I perceive it...

I'm getting very sharp intuitions nowadays. It comes as a confirmed thought. Just for an example, I would watch a dice roll, and then I just somehow knew in my head that it would be a 4. Or perhaps it would be that I would say phrases before my friends say them, and they would look at me with a surprised expression (or I would say the exact same thing as them at the exact same time). Or I can get answers for things when I just trust my "inner self"... I don't know what to call this.

I seem to be more sensitive to this... electromagnetic-looking waves/pattern within light. I don't think it's anything supernatural, just an increased sensitivity to what is normally not perceived. I also see a cloud-like layer around people, which might be light reflecting off their bodies, or perhaps from water vapour evaporating from their skin/hair.

Whenever I get the chance now, I will stand still and work on the four cornerstones of mindfulness. It is easy to think in the way: Body, senses, state, mental objects.

[Jhanananda]

Thank you for those kind words. I hope I can progress well.

---

I am getting orgasms across my body continuously. It seems to move around the back of my neck and head, spreading to my shoulders. They move to my hands. Then to my heart area. It is as if I am showering in a cool spring water. Sometimes they localize around the right side of my body. I can then see an increased blood flow to the right side of my body, such as an increase in redness. They do not bring any general health problems so I feel ok.

This is the tactile charism.

This especially happens when: (1) I pay attention to charisms... (2) I hear a certain beautiful music... (3) I eat certain types of food... I am not sure why it happens that way. Perhaps I just became more sensitive to blissfulness, if that is possible. Also, they seem to move along meridians...

Yes, when we lead a righteous lifestyle, then we have the charisms with us all of the time.  Yes, we become sensitive to the charisms after a while.  Yes, I too found the 'energy' does seem to move along the acupuncture meridians, so I am convinced that those who developed the acupuncture meridian system were most probably mystics, like us here.

I also found that I do not react as negatively to things. I was in the lift when there was a power outage and the whole lift shut down suddenly with a violent jerk. I pressed the bell and waited for a response. But seeing that it was dark and there was nothing else I could do, I decided to just meditate on the floor. The lift maintenance man was quite surprised to see how non-reacting I was when he cranked the door open after twenty to thirty minutes... I simply bided him a thank you and walked away.

Yes, those who learn to meditate deeply develop various superior fruit of attainment, such as equanimity, as you described.

Today's meditation brought a strange feeling. I felt as if my body was as soft as a baby. The posture was quite stable and it felt as if I had no bones. Vibrations was fast to come.

Yes, the body will feel like that when one learns to meditate deeply.  And, deep meditation requires learning to relax deeply.

It feels as if the physical body is some kind of observatory robot, where I can only sit inside a command center and watch the feedback on the monitors as to what is going on outside. I see sensations, perceptions, mental "patterns" and sensory data flickering around... but they just aren't the "me". Or actually.. there isn't even a "me" to watch, because that thing is on the screen too. Just writing this down because that's sometimes how I perceive it...

Yes, deep meditation tends to be experienced non-dual.

I'm getting very sharp intuitions nowadays. It comes as a confirmed thought. Just for an example, I would watch a dice roll, and then I just somehow knew in my head that it would be a 4. Or perhaps it would be that I would say phrases before my friends say them, and they would look at me with a surprised expression (or I would say the exact same thing as them at the exact same time). Or I can get answers for things when I just trust my "inner self"... I don't know what to call this.

This is called 'insight.' Insight is one of the superior fruit of attainment that is commonly experienced by those who learn to meditate deeply.

I seem to be more sensitive to this... electromagnetic-looking waves/pattern within light. I don't think it's anything supernatural, just an increased sensitivity to what is normally not perceived. I also see a cloud-like layer around people, which might be light reflecting off their bodies, or perhaps from water vapour evaporating from their skin/hair.

This is the charism of light/

Whenever I get the chance now, I will stand still and work on the four cornerstones of mindfulness. It is easy to think in the way: Body, senses, state, mental objects.

This is good practice.  It explains why you are making such good progress.

[bodhimind]

It sometimes feels as if the whole body is breathing. When I breathe in, it's as if air goes through the skin. When I breathe out, the air goes out of the skin. Of course it can't be air, but perhaps it is energy of some sort. I often wondered what the Buddha said about "stopping the air going in and out of the ears" but perhaps this is what he means? I remember that when he did that, he experienced pains in his version of the dark night.

I am starting to see faint colours around people. From what I understand, clairvoyants say that one is able to diagnose the health of a person by these sights. I also get very uneasy around people with what I intuitively feel as "dark" or greyish. Are these real or just illusions?

Also, I feel that if I focus on the four chakras, I get "top-heavy" and 'floaty'. Then I need to do a bit of qi-gong to 'ground' myself using the navel chakra or lower dan-tien. I was thinking of getting a yoga mat that has grounding so that I can stay contact with the ground as much as possible.

I feel that when I try to heal someone, then my heart chakra seems to radiate with joy. I read up on a martial arts document and it says that the navel chakra stores vitality and the heart chakra is used to 'customize' the energy, which then comes out from the palms. I wonder if this is true? The only thing I know about it from here is that it is associated with first jhana, which is consistent with the joy and lightness that I feel.

---

Just something interesting... I was reading the "Holographic Universe" by Michael Talbot.

It says that all of the universe is a projected hologram. This is an actual theory derived from Hawking's black hole theory and what it says is that any information amount can be calculated if one is to observe simply the surface area of the boundary of the object.

So when something calls into a black hole, its information becomes encoded within the boundary instead of being lost, which was what Stephen Hawking previously thought.

In other words, a 3D universe can be encoded in something of much lower dimensionality, such as a 2D universe. A shadow can encode an entire 3D universe - its outside, its inside, its in-betweens. Also, just like a hologram, each tiny fragment of the hologram contains information about the entire hologram - the microcosm reflects the entire macrocosm. In another word to say it... we are one with the universe but simply because of informational distinctions, we appear separate, just like how whirlpools and eddies seem to be separate from the river, even though they are the same body of water.

They're calling it the Unified Field - where all forms of possibilities exist - things people know, don't know, or haven't thought of - Archetypes from the universal consciousness, etc.

Another brain researcher says that the physical brain only serves to translate quantum soup waves into a holographic projection that we call a sensory experience. Memories are not stored in the brain but within these interference patterns that the activity of neurons cause.

So basically they have reached this point where they know the physical aspect of things do not explain anything about consciousness. Of course some of the scientists are unwilling to project it in that way and are very discomforted by the very thought of it. The holographic theory is essentially saying that reality is like a projected dream - and lucid dreams or OBEs or synchronicities or past-lives are also projections from this implicate order.

David Bohm, a protege of Einstein, pushes for the holographic theory and there are many scientists from all kinds of disciplines who are taking support of this idea.

[Jhanananda]

It sometimes feels as if the whole body is breathing. When I breathe in, it's as if air goes through the skin. When I breathe out, the air goes out of the skin. Of course it can't be air, but perhaps it is energy of some sort. I often wondered what the Buddha said about "stopping the air going in and out of the ears" but perhaps this is what he means? I remember that when he did that, he experienced pains in his version of the dark night.

When attempting to understand ancient religious literature it is useful to keep in mind that the authors of those books had a different world-view than we do.  For them the universe was made up of 4-5 elements; so the "air" passing through Siddhartha Gatuama's ears was, I believe, a reference to the sound charism, which he would have interpreted as coming from one of the 4-5 elements, which in this case would have been the element of air.

I am starting to see faint colours around people. From what I understand, clairvoyants say that one is able to diagnose the health of a person by these sights. I also get very uneasy around people with what I intuitively feel as "dark" or greyish. Are these real or just illusions?

Considering that your reports suggest that you have discovered how to meditate deeply, and the superior fruit of attainment (maha-phala) are various paranormal abilities that are the product of deep meditation, then I believe it is reasonable to consider that you are indeed experiencing the visual charism.  In my case, and my case histories the visual charism often results in seeing chakras and auras.

Also, I feel that if I focus on the four chakras, I get "top-heavy" and 'floaty'. Then I need to do a bit of qi-gong to 'ground' myself using the navel chakra or lower dan-tien. I was thinking of getting a yoga mat that has grounding so that I can stay contact with the ground as much as possible.

I have found walking meditation and tai chi lead to feeling balanced, which is often associated with the term 'grounded' verses the feeling of 'spaciness' which I believe is associated with the kinesthetic charism, which people often find difficult to negotiate.

I feel that when I try to heal someone, then my heart chakra seems to radiate with joy. I read up on a martial arts document and it says that the navel chakra stores vitality and the heart chakra is used to 'customize' the energy, which then comes out from the palms. I wonder if this is true? The only thing I know about it from here is that it is associated with first jhana, which is consistent with the joy and lightness that I feel.

I never found much use in the lower three chakras in healing of deep meditation.  However, I have found that when I do healing work a feeling of love and energy seems to originate in my heart chakra and move out my hands to the subject being healed.

Just something interesting... I was reading the "Holographic Universe" by Michael Talbot.

It says that all of the universe is a projected hologram. This is an actual theory derived from Hawking's black hole theory and what it says is that any information amount can be calculated if one is to observe simply the surface area of the boundary of the object.

So when something calls into a black hole, its information becomes encoded within the boundary instead of being lost, which was what Stephen Hawking previously thought.

In other words, a 3D universe can be encoded in something of much lower dimensionality, such as a 2D universe. A shadow can encode an entire 3D universe - its outside, its inside, its in-betweens. Also, just like a hologram, each tiny fragment of the hologram contains information about the entire hologram - the microcosm reflects the entire macrocosm. In another word to say it... we are one with the universe but simply because of informational distinctions, we appear separate, just like how whirlpools and eddies seem to be separate from the river, even though they are the same body of water.

They're calling it the Unified Field - where all forms of possibilities exist - things people know, don't know, or haven't thought of - Archetypes from the universal consciousness, etc.

Another brain researcher says that the physical brain only serves to translate quantum soup waves into a holographic projection that we call a sensory experience. Memories are not stored in the brain but within these interference patterns that the activity of neurons cause.

So basically they have reached this point where they know the physical aspect of things do not explain anything about consciousness. Of course some of the scientists are unwilling to project it in that way and are very discomforted by the very thought of it. The holographic theory is essentially saying that reality is like a projected dream - and lucid dreams or OBEs or synchronicities or past-lives are also projections from this implicate order.

David Bohm, a protege of Einstein, pushes for the holographic theory and there are many scientists from all kinds of disciplines who are taking support of this idea.

Michael Talbot, Steven Hawkins, Einstein, David Bohm et al, have not demonstrated that they were or are mystics, so their hypotheses generally do not take into account a purely spiritual (AKA non-physical) universe.

[bodhimind]

When attempting to understand ancient religious literature it is useful to keep in mind that the authors of those books had a different world-view than we do.  For them the universe was made up of 4-5 elements; so the "air" passing through Siddhartha Gatuama's ears was, I believe, a reference to the sound charism, which he would have interpreted as coming from one of the 4-5 elements, which in this case would have been the element of air.

Very interesting, now that I think about it, that understanding was also present in Egyptian history where they believed that air entered the orifices such as the ears and followed through what they called the mtw. It seems that they might have also used 'air' in that context, but I am not sure.

Considering that your reports suggest that you have discovered how to meditate deeply, and the superior fruit of attainment (maha-phala) are various paranormal abilities that are the product of deep meditation, then I believe it is reasonable to consider that you are indeed experiencing the visual charism.  In my case, and my case histories the visual charism often results in seeing chakras and auras.

Thank you for the clarification. I do not yet see chakras but I sometimes see faint outlines and electromagnetic patterns, so I hope I will experience it more when I go deeper.

I have found walking meditation and tai chi lead to feeling balanced, which is often associated with the term 'grounded' verses the feeling of 'spaciness' which I believe is associated with the kinesthetic charism, which people often find difficult to negotiate.

Thank you, I will definitely put walking meditation as part of my regimen, so that I can ground myself better.

Michael Talbot, Steven Hawkins, Einstein, David Bohm et al, have not demonstrated that they were or are mystics, so their hypotheses generally do not take into account a purely spiritual (AKA non-physical) universe.

Thank you for the clarification. Upon further reading, they do not seem to fully understand the mechanics as well.

---

I noticed that Buddhist literature did not really talk much about the auditory charism and I happened to stumble on this yoga document that said the following quotes on the inner sound:

nâda: “Sound; tone, vibration.”
Metaphysically, the mystic sounds of
the Eternal, of which the highest is
the transcendent, Soundless Sound,
Paranâda, the first vibration from
which creation emanates. Paranâda
is so pure and subtle that it cannot be identified to
the denser regions of the mind. From Paranâda comes
Pranava, Aum, and further evolutes of nâda. These are
experienced by the meditator as the nâdanâ∂î sakti,
“energy current of sound,” heard pulsing through the
nerve system as a steady high-pitched hum, much
like a tambura, an electrical transformer, a swarm of
bees or a sruti box. Listening to the inner sounds is a
contemplative practice called nâda upâsanâ, “worship
through sound,” nâda anusandhâna, “cultivation of
inner sound,” or nâda yoga “union through sound.”
Subtle variations of the nâdanâ∂î sakti represent the
psychic wavelengths of established guru lineages of
many Indian religions. Nâda also refers to other psychic
sounds heard during deep meditation, including
those resembling various musical instruments.

The auditory charism I experience is somewhat like they described, as an electrical transformer from the center of the head. When attending to it, it sends blissful and orgasm-like sensations throughout my body.

In this book, it seems that they call it nada.

Just a few more quotes:

The seventh merger is into the nâda-nâ∂î sakti, that unrelenting sound
heard as an inexplainable “eee,” of a thousand vînâs being played simultaneously
by Vînâdhâra, another form of Lord Siva, the maker of sound, the
composer of the symphony. The nâda is traced to its source, deep within
the within, the city of a thousand lights and sounds, for sound is light and
light is sound in this sphere of Sat chid ânanda, all-pervasive oneness with
all form, the Self flowing through the mind, untouched by it, yet sustaining
it in a mightily mysterious way.

Those of you who hear the nâda, it’s the
same inner sound, morning, noon and night, 365 days a year. The light
that lights your thoughts, 365 days a year, twenty-four hours a day, is the
same. It lights up your dreams also. And the energy of your body—all
coming from Siva.

Give up consciousness which is seeing and registering that
which has been seen. Become the sound, nâda; just be and merge into the
Ultimate Quiet.

Listening to the nâda, as it is called in Sanskrit,
or nâda-nâ∂î sakti, brings the threshold of bliss and shows that the
balance of all karmas has been attained. Listening to the nâda and tracing
it into its source carries the seeker’s awareness to the brink of the Absolute.

Many sincere seekers wonder why they cannot hear “eeeeee,” the nâda, during
their meditation, whereas others not only hear it during meditation but
during the day when talking, shopping or just meandering through the
garden. This is to say, it is there when awareness enters that area of the
mind. The mind has to be made empty. That means resolving all unresolved
conflicts within the subconscious. The striving to hear the nâda
will bring up unresolved issues. They may plague the conscious mind
until resolved. At first you might disregard them and feel they will go away
as abruptly as they came. But later, when they persist, and the major one
is deception—yes, we can even deceive ourselves—we are inwardly forced
to face up to, admit our secrets and make amends. When deception goes,
the nâda comes. When the subconscious is heavy, the nâda and the brilliant
colors it radiates fade. Failure on the path puts the nâda out of range
of the inner ear of the soul. ¶The mystical nâda, it’s a medley of sounds,
and each sound which is there has a color, but may be covered, as is the
light of the mind of the soul, the clear white light. It is covered, but not
permanently. Admittance of the mistakes, the experience of repentance
and the performance of penance, called prâ yas chitta, lay the foundation
for a reconciliation that will release the force of lower nature into the
higher and uncloud the veil that hid the inner light, that hid the nâda—
that incomprehensible high-pitched “eee,” sounding within the head, that
incomparable source of inner security, contentment and outpouring of
love. When you hear the nâda, endeavor to project it in love’s outpouring
to all those who are in your orbit of communication. They will feel the
blessings when your divine love is projected through your nâda into their
nâda. This is the height of selfless consciousness, universal love, a constant,
mystical outpouring and experience of oneness. The sushumnâ is nâda
and more. Nâda sakti is. It just is.

Those who receive ÍSva’s grace are liberated from the
ego-binding impurity called ânava. Transcending the
states of bindu–light and nâda–sound, they become
as Prânava Aum and merge in pure Íiva. Verily, this is
the pristine state. --- Tirumantiram 2233

^ This seems to refer to the visual charism as well...

clairaudience: “Clear-hearing.” Psychic or divine hearing,
divyasravana. The ability to hear the inner currents
of the nervous system, the Aum and other mystic
tones. Hearing in one’s mind the words of inner-plane
beings or earthly beings not physically present. Also,
hearing the nâdanâ∂î sakti through the day or while in
meditation. See: clairvoyance, extrasensory, ESP, nâda,
nâda nâ∂î sakti.

paranâda: ¥¿≤ŸÆ “Transcendent sound, tone or vibration.”
Metaphysically, the highest mystic sounds of
the Eternal, the transcendent or Soundless Sound, the
first vibration from which creation emanates. From
Paranâda comes Pranava Aum and further evolutes
of nâda. See: Aum, nâda.

This seems to tie in quite nicely with the GWV's view that dibba-sota / divine hearing is related to the auditory charism.

I do not know much about the writers of the book, but it was offered for free on their site as a pdf here: http://www.himalayanacademy.com/media/books/merging-with-siva/merging-with-siva.pdf At first glance, they seem to have pretty joyous faces. However, they have lineages, so I am not too sure about that.

I am strictly only interested in what they wrote in the book though, since it seems to show some insight into the auditory charism. I might look into it more to see what they have to say about the visual charism... Just wanted to know the views of the GWV on their accuracy before I dig deeper.

[Jhanananda]

Thank-you, bodhimind, for posting the quotes and download link for the book, Merging with Íiva, Hinduism’s Contemporary Metaphysics was first published by Himalayan Academy in 1998. Interesting quotes.  It sounds like one or more of these yogis might actually have direct experience with the sound charism.  But, I do keep in mind, "we know a tree by its fruit."  So, if they only have one fruit of attainment, then why?  Because, most people get more than one fruit, if they have gotten any at all, as we see here in our small community.

Very interesting, now that I think about it, that understanding was also present in Egyptian history where they believed that air entered the orifices such as the ears and followed through what they called the mtw. It seems that they might have also used 'air' in that context, but I am not sure.

Yes, most ancient peoples in EurAsia had the concept of 4 to 5 elements, and air was one of them.  In fact the 5 element theory in Europe has only been in disuse for a few centuries.