My journey into the spiritual life.

[William Jones]

Hi people, im new here, and just thought id let you know how my life has progressed over the decades. I'm now 70, and first sought sanctuary in the spiritual life when I was 21. Well thats not exactly true, because i was brought up to believe in God - which i did, but in an almmost sleep walking fashion. I digress  ; when i was 21 i had a life changing experience. I was really depressed as i had a failed love (who ditched me) I was so down that i tried to end it all by poisoning myself. I took the poison on a day out to a quiet beach on a late summer day. To this day, I'm not sure if i actually killed myself - but i know that in my action i certainly did kill my personality. Shortly after swallowing the evil substance i had tremendous pain in my stomach, and right leg etc,  then i began to hallucinate. The thoughts were like reality and they were horrific, the toture became too much for my questioning mind, and i passed out. At the point of the worst that i felt, all i wanted was to see my mum and dad - some love and familiarity, but they were 40 miles away. Anyway after ...when i arose, i was at peace. Everything was calm and clear - its like i lost my emotional functions. I was feeling so calm that i believed i'd found God. Gradually I got back into normality, and my world had changed from material pursuits, to finding the practice that showed me what i'd found, and how i could find the peace i'd experienced. From that point i read lots of books and spoke to lots of people, but it was next summer when i found a book about meditation. I read what the Buddha said when he compared Nirvana to nothing. That " nothing" was not actually nothing, but the clarity of non - attachment. I knew i was on the right track, because those words brought me back to the clarity that i had felt at the time after my hell. Anyway that was the beginning of my spiritual journey which has evolved somewhat since. Thanks for reading 😉

[Alexander]

Welcome, William, to the community of mystics 🙂. It’s likely the best forum for the inner life that has existed, and it’s the Internet that made it possible.

[William Jones]

Thankyou 🙂

[Michael Hawkins]

Hello William,

Welcome to our contemplative community, and thank you for sharing some of your story.

I was really depressed as i had a failed love (who ditched me) I was so down that i tried to end it all by poisoning myself.

Seems that the Dark Night of the Soul is a significant feature in many of the journeys that are shared here.  There's nothing like standing at death's doorway to shake us to the core.  As you say, things have "evolved" since your turning point experience, and it's good that you're still around at 70 to talk about it.  I will be 62 this year, and I believe Jeffrey is 10 years my senior.  We were all much younger when this board was created - not to mention the Yahoo group that came before.  It's been an invaluable and essential presence in my own journey and I feel so grateful for those who have shared with me here.

[Jhanananda]

Welcome, William, while I am so sorry for your pain (dukkha) seems to be the wakeup call for all of us to turn to an interior life. I look forward to reading more of what you have to write. I am curious what brought you to this forum verses so many others on the internet?

[William Jones]

Thanks for your positive response to my introduction. I sensed a positive vibe when I read Jefferys remark about astral projection - a subject I am reasonably ignorant about, but eager to learn more about, and from there - I found here.

[Jhanananda]

Good to know astral projection was your incentive. Here we emphasis the 4 altered states of consciousness that are called the 4 jhanas in the Pali canon as preparatory to astral projection. I find them an excellent foundation, and we see evidence of them in the astral projection community; however, they don't seem to understand their significance and seem all to much in a hurry to get Out-of-Body.