Hello Group
I didn't have any unusual spiritual activity when I was a child that I can remember except starting at the age of four I had vivid nightmares. I was a small round ball moving very peacefully inside a huge spiral, continuing for a while until the edges of the spiral became jagged and horribly confused and I would wake up terrified. This continued until age 12 when I pleaded with God to stop the nightmares and they stopped.
I did have many dreams of falling off a bridge and waking up suddenly and didn’t get that figured out until latter in life.
My father was a very bad alcoholic and that has affected me all of my life.
In about 1980 when I was about 30, my wife left and took my children, that was a pivotal event in my life and put me into a state of shock, I was not able to sleep and could hear my heart beat all night.
One night as I was laying in bed my body started to vibrate extremely fast. The best analogy would be if you got into a small car and started the engine, put the gearshift into neutral and put the accelerator to the floor and held it there and didn’t let go.
I thought that I was having a heart attack, although as this went on for some time and nothing was happening except for the extreme vibration that maybe I was going out of body, I had heard about an OOB but didn’t know if this was one or not. Since I was still alive but still vibrating I started to try and let go and start moving. This was a most terrifying experience, but at this point I was willing to do anything to get moving along with it and I tried every method I could think of to let go. This went on for some time and I finally gave up trying to let go and when I did I suddenly shot up and went out through the roof. I ended up in the “University of the Mind” and was watching a time that I did not understand the concept for. I was lucid but was afraid to move because I didn’t want this wonderful
event to end. After a while I started to get bored with doing nothing and gingerly moved my foot ahead, I didn’t suddenly wake up in bed so I thought this was great. I walked out the door and into a library.
I dropped from the sky suddenly with a huge bang and landed on the bed. I was exhausted and lay there for some time not able to move, I realized that my energy was leaving and that I was going to die if I didn’t move and was able to get to the floor and walked around for a few hours until I thought it was safe to go back to bed. I was very surprised to see that there were no blankets on the bed at all and they were on the floor. Most dreams take only a few seconds but I had been gone for about 4 hours.
That first OOB scared me so much that I gave my spirit strict orders to get me out of body first in a dream and then wake me up, that has been working ever since and I have had about 300 OOB, the latest just last night. I thought for a while that they would eventually taper off and stop and they do, but if I am aware that I am getting lazy I will tell myself that I should have some courage and have another one.
In the next few months I had more interesting OOBs, I had several training sessions and one morning I woke up feeling completely saved of every problem, except I was not able to think. I was in extreme peace with a quiet mind and was not able to figure out what was wrong with me. (you may notice a little reverse thinking here). After about a month I was able to get my internal dialog back up and running and of course started to feel terrible again. I was saved 2 more times but both times managed to get my internal dialog running again thereby feeling terrible again. (some people don’t learn : -)
Back then I had no meditation method, and still did not have the concept for it. I was a truck driver and had to stay awake for a week at a time with only a few hours sleep a night, still being very sensitive.
One morning I woke up with my energy exploded with my head buzzing and with far too much energy so that I was awake for about 3 months.
The doctor diagnosed me with tinnitus and told me to relax. I am still not sure what happened but think it was a combination of tinnitus and a kundalini emergence. Even a non spiritual person can have a kundalini explosion caused by stress, and the sounds sound like the Anahata sounds that can be found on the web.
About the year 1990 or 2000 I realized that I felt very buzzy and heavy around 11 at night and felt drawn to my chair. I started meditating then with no method. I do of course watch my breath now as I have found out why a person needs to stop the internal dialog, but I also do the OM sound as that is the sound I hear and it helps tune me up.
Bless Valdy