History... In some ways a long time ago; other ways vivid now.
Flashback: I am inside the mouth of a whale. I look up seeing the roof of its mouth. I began actively seeking some sort of peace through
meditation in 1974 while experencing Tao Te Ching. However then almost no information about how to meditate. TM wanted money for a
mantra. I read little bits here and there - deciding to observe breath in/out. And of course at times I forced my breath - creating lots of sleeplessness.
Flashback: I am in a tennis match and I am really in the zone - played well, won and could hardily remember anything about the match - in fact not remembering was troubling. For some years now I am usually in the zone. At times I would experience states that I did not want to leave. So when I stopped looking for peace I found it...
Fast forward: a couple of divorces later as well as irregular meditations. I finally moved to New Mexico after visiting since 1961 - almost 16 years in the Silver City area now. Locally I experienced an alleged Zendo and impossibly hard cusions; I was ordained a lay Zen Buddhist and was encouraged by my old Roshi to explore my natural occuring altered states of consciousness - R loved my description of everything in the natural world glowing, for over a month straight I would look outside to see if everthing was still glowing.
The zendo turned out to be the leaders support group - when I accused him of this he was silent. So I left the group. However during this period I sat with other groups and listened to Lee Brasington on Jhanas, met Bhante G a few x's - I read the Path of Purification, Buddhaghosa. I searched here and there for Jhana teachings, Ayha Kayma. What I experienced was a lot of guided meditations. Fortunately I ran into GWV about 5 or 6 years ago, dropped the guided meditation version and let go into deeper and deeper.
Somewhere I began hearing the sounds that I now have and for some time have had - seems forever but probably 5 years or so. I am, I
think, always in a Jhanic state.
Meeting Jeff, November 2011 ,helped - he gave me permission to go the other side of the moon or whatever.
Numerous 10 day sits, Goenka. So I am a practicing contemplative forever. Oh, yes, all but thesis for MA in History of Philosophy - whenever that was. So that is it...
Addenda: typical meditation: really relax, sweep body relaxing more and more, for me sounds always present, breath slows to quite slow, begin kundalini at heart level, jump off 100 foot flagpole or whatever and I am off - well without an I. I mostly go for the ride...
