Opioid addictions

[Jhanananda]

I cannot make it clear enough how instrumental meditative absorption has been in relinquishing the hold these drugs have had on me. I stopped taking a does of Hydrocodone, 10-12 pills per day (10/325's), cold turkey, 13 days ago. The inspiration to love I've gained from meditative absorption is beyond measure and I cannot thank this community enough for the guidance all of you have provided. I write this in hopes that my "open book" will provide a relation in which to progress from.

Sincerely,
Calvin

Yes, Cal, I too had addictions at one time, and it was the cultivation of the religious experience, which we call "jhana" here that completely eradicated my addictions, so I am not at all surprised that it is working for you as well.  I expect it will work for anyone.

[Jhanon]

I wish to post my agreement. I am currently weening off of one, quite naturally, because it makes me sick now. I appear to have become more aware in general, and things like eating a little bit of ice cream give me strong pain, where before it was only mild discomfort.

Through a series of "coincidences" that were extremely accommodating, I ended up taking a small break from my regimen altogether. It was easiest because I was "teaching" others about the Path, which required me to tap into intuitive insight on a constant basis. Also, an energy connection with Cal.

1) The charisms are far more pleasant and rewarding, both in relation to opioids, and off the opioids.
2) Kundalini
3) Kundalini
4) Kundalini
5) God/Whatever you want to call that awesome "special something."

The trick, it seems, is going to the charisms for refuge. This includes intuitive insight, or "intuition." One must reside there like your wellbeing relied on it--not the opioid. That's easier said than done. Easier thought of than done. But when it's done, it works. One must even leave the intellectualizing alone, like I should be as I type this.

[Jhanananda]

The trick, it seems, is going to the charisms for refuge. This includes intuitive insight, or "intuition." One must reside there like your wellbeing relied on it--not the opioid. That's easier said than done. Easier thought of than done. But when it's done, it works. One must even leave the intellectualizing alone, like I should be as I type this.

I have found this to be true, and it led to no addictions whatsoever, so it should work for you, and anyone else, who has found genuine charisms.

[Michel]

What is interesting is I attained it not by any meditative technique, but from an eclipse of my contradictions and personal strife. I simply went with it and dropped the resistance. Of course it took time. I embraced my hatred of myself, of the world, of the body; of all the people around me; of my limitations and flaws. Then it was the friction of my many lies and falsehoods, and the acting I do for all the people around me -- and then I had a violent victory, my essential goodness just pulled me out of myself.

This is utterly incredible, Alexander. This is very profound insight; it's very valuable to me. I am going to incorporate these ideas into my daily contemplations. It's a complete and utter surrender, isn't it? I hope you write much more about this in your future posts. I'm very happy for you. Thank-you for sharing this with us.

[Jhanon]

What is interesting is I attained it not by any meditative technique, but from an eclipse of my contradictions and personal strife. I simply went with it and dropped the resistance. Of course it took time. I embraced my hatred of myself, of the world, of the body; of all the people around me; of my limitations and flaws. Then it was the friction of my many lies and falsehoods, and the acting I do for all the people around me -- and then I had a violent victory, my essential goodness just pulled me out of myself.

This is utterly incredible, Alexander. This is very profound insight; it's very valuable to me. I am going to incorporate these ideas into my daily contemplations. It's a complete and utter surrender, isn't it? I hope you write much more about this in your future posts. I'm very happy for you. Thank-you for sharing this with us.

Michel, you're not addressing me, but I hope you're okay with me responding as if you were.

Since becoming very sensitive to this other charism, which we could call vivid pre-verbal intuition, if ya like, I have found that yes, it is a complete and utter surrender. Have I succcessfully done so? Not fully, and only in limited time periods--like 6 or 7 hours for example. "I" did this as an experiment to create a distinction between surrendering and not surrendering.

But, I have absolutely no doubt that one must completely surrender TO THE CHARISMS. It is very important, again in my experience, to develop a RELATIONSHIP with them. That might sound weird, and I hope I don't give the wrong impression, but once that begins, and the further it develops, the faster and easier it is to retreat to them--thus letting go of all self-will. I believe this was the INTENTION behind saying one goes to "The Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha for refuge." Because when I did what that means to me, magical things happened.

[Michel]

we could call vivid pre-verbal intuition, if ya like, I have found that yes, it is a complete and utter surrender. Have I succcessfully done so? Not fully, and only in limited time periods--like 6 or 7 hours for example. "I" did this as an experiment to create a distinction between surrendering and not surrendering.

Hopefully it will become a permanent state for you, Jhanon.

But, I have absolutely no doubt that one must completely surrender TO THE CHARISMS. It is very important, again in my experience, to develop a RELATIONSHIP with them. That might sound weird, and I hope I don't give the wrong impression, but once that begins, and the further it develops, the faster and easier it is to retreat to them--thus letting go of all self-will. I believe this was the INTENTION behind saying one goes to "The Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha for refuge." Because when I did what that means to me, magical things happened.

I think you've mentioned elsewhere that you feel deep gratitude for experiencing the divine/charisms. That's the relationship.

[Jhanon]

we could call vivid pre-verbal intuition, if ya like, I have found that yes, it is a complete and utter surrender. Have I succcessfully done so? Not fully, and only in limited time periods--like 6 or 7 hours for example. "I" did this as an experiment to create a distinction between surrendering and not surrendering.

Hopefully it will become a permanent state for you, Jhananda.

But, I have absolutely no doubt that one must completely surrender TO THE CHARISMS. It is very important, again in my experience, to develop a RELATIONSHIP with them. That might sound weird, and I hope I don't give the wrong impression, but once that begins, and the further it develops, the faster and easier it is to retreat to them--thus letting go of all self-will. I believe this was the INTENTION behind saying one goes to "The Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha for refuge." Because when I did what that means to me, magical things happened.

I think you've mentioned elsewhere that you feel deep gratitude for experiencing the divine/charisms. That's the relationship.

Yes! Exactly! I couldn't develop the gratitude without the relationship. I arrogantly thought in the past I was "above that" because I was intelligent. But, finally i surrendered to the idea, and yes--it had to be viewed as a relationship. Since doing so, you can see how it has affected even my sleep. The aim now is to keep the state going by continuing to seek refuge in this relationship, and thus transcend the desires/fetters/identity.

There is an element of imagination to it, too. For example, when I walk through somewhere with other humans, I place my awareness into both the external and internal tactile charism. Meaning, the aura/cloak and the inner-presence. At first I would imagine my aura extending many feet outward, and washing over others as I walked past. I would wish them well as I did so. Soon, however, i actually began to feel them. I feel the vibrant presence in the air, and when they pass through it. It's too rapid to be imagined.

Thank you for your kindness. I hope your retreat went well and revealed what you were looking for.

[Jhanon]

How strange. This popped up in my "New Replies to your Posts" section, even though there is nothing new here. Why is it strange? I was just about to come to this thread and post...

I've decided to stop being ashamed of the medicines I take. Firstly, none of them are illegal or very strong (compared to other drugs.) Secondly, the shame, a form of ignorance, perpetuates the medication use.

The last two months have been very difficult for me, until the last few days. I realized that the moments I had which recharged me, which fulfilled me, which felt the best--always occurred when there was the least amount of medications in my system. I kept using more because I was struggling, but this is the opposite of the path to resolution.

I experienced a beautiful jhana last night. It lasted for about 3 hours, which was two hours longer than the one I had in the morning. After I left it, I had very little medicine in my system. I began experiencing a sense of humor, and accelerated mental processing--both of which were fulfilling. I was able to remain saturated in a very strong field of tactile energy and visual luminosity on par with 3rd or 4th jhana. Everything I did while saturated in this--it made sense on a deeper level. I saw into things I was experiencing. It was insight like I remember from other deep meditations. The mind would contemplate something, and extrapolate it. Numerous scientific "laws" were destroyed, and yet I couldn't put the insight into writing. Gravity, "matter", the material and immaterial, how energy functions, and how human life is many times removed from the truer expression of "life." Hard to explain with words, but very fulfilling to experience.

Point: Less is more. I've got a two-decade old identity fighting to keep the medications/drugs. But, in these moments when the divine overcomes that identity, I experience flashes of forgotten memory of a time before I was first forced into drugs. Apparently I was experiencing quite a bit of OOBE and jhana before then. i think this is good news. To see this life reconciling.

Lastly, the fear is subsiding. The less medications + the more saturation = reduction of fear. It appears that this youngest identity strongly wants annihilation, and its fear is significantly less than the present identity. As the meditation went deeper, and the medications left the system, I experienced a stronger and stronger attraction to being annihilated. When surges of energy occurred, each time I felt a distinct attraction. It grew with every deepening wave. I can't stress how refreshing this is.

It's like standing on the shore, seeing an extraordinary wave of brilliance towering overhead. And instead of looking for escape, being fascinated and eager.

[Jhanananda]

Congratulations, Jhanon, you are moving toward recovery, and you can see how cultivating the religious experience (samadhi) reduces our dependency upon drugs.  Keep going, and keep us posted regarding your progress.

[Jhanon]

Congratulations, Jhanon, you are moving toward recovery, and you can see how cultivating the religious experience (samadhi) reduces our dependency upon drugs.  Keep going, and keep us posted regarding your progress.

Thank you. I fear this is a long process for the likes of me. I've been trying to get off medications, whether self or assigned, for a very long time. I think what I can do best is just keep observing the benefits of reducing, and logging them somewhere. That's what I did with meditation until one day I experienced a big breakthrough. Or, rather, I noticed.

[Jhanon]

I've decided to just keep everything out in the open from now on...

Lately, something interesting has been happening. A few years ago, a small amount of substance used would get me through 6-7 hours of a day before I began feeling the unsatisfactoriness of human life. It was crushing, and it was all I could do at such points to find a tree to sit under which was as far from human establishment as I could manage. And I would just sob. Maybe I could enter jhana, but I would still have tears running down my face. I can't stand this plane in such circumstances.

When I went to bed, I would take two-three times the regular dose. This would allow me 12-18 hours before the same would occur. But presently, such a dose barely affords me 6 hours of reprieve. And, fortunately, the substance I take cannot be increased any further without considerable deficit. So I wake up feeling as I used to. Expressions of painful wisdom start flowing out. No commoner wants to hear such things. But I've found it's not because I'm bitter. It really is verifiably true. Here is an example of such outpourings:

"If you have to be continuously stoned, drunk, or otherwise medicated by pills, substances or media to do something; I have some difficult news for you. You really don't wanna do that something. And if that something is just life--well, you know the answer already. Which isn't to say drink the kool-aid. That's just moronic. But maybe leave modern society behind and go find the one interweaving string that makes you happy. Afterall, most artists don't get along with society. Most artists are drug users. And the best art comes from when they are sober. And good art is always anti-institution."

Other outpourings have to do with my severe longing for natural silence, smells, tastes, sights, and feelings. I miss waking up to the sounds of birds, chipmunks and wind in the trees. Walking outside and seeing nothing but nature. Looking up to the sky and seeing stars. All the stars. I miss the warmth of the south-west.

In the summers, I go for long walks. I come across a plant in season, close my eyes and smell it's fragrance. And for a moment, I'm not in the city. I'm in the wilderness. Such a simple thing can keep me going for an entire day afterward. All other "seasons" are dead of life here.

[Jhanananda]

Hello, Jhanon, it is good to see some honesty in your posts, as I knew all along that you had some addictive behavior influencing your current behavior.  So, good work, and keep going.  Until you are free of addiction, then you are not a genuine mystic.  When you are free of addiction, then you will be a valuable teacher for the dhamma.

[Michel]

Welcome back, Jhanon. I missed reading your posts.

I hope you manage to get off your meds without too much difficulty.

[Jhanon]

Hello, Jhanon, it is good to see some honesty in your posts, as I knew all along that you had some addictive behavior influencing your current behavior.  So, good work, and keep going.  Until you are free of addiction, then you are not a genuine mystic.  When you are free of addiction, then you will be a valuable teacher for the dhamma.

I can see the path to overcoming this. But it is a delicate one, if I am to keep my family and provide for them while maintaining sobriety. Some very unusual fortune has come my way, and might offer the next step. Essentially, I will be paid to discuss jhana, my experiences with it, and how it's transforming lives. And when I am discussing these things or meditating is the only time I feel free of my addictions.

Welcome back, Jhanon. I missed reading your posts.

I hope you manage to get off your meds without too much difficulty.

Thank you, Michel. If all goes well, I'll be providing much more content, soon.

[Jhanananda]

I can see the path to overcoming this. But it is a delicate one, if I am to keep my family and provide for them while maintaining sobriety. Some very unusual fortune has come my way, and might offer the next step. Essentially, I will be paid to discuss jhana, my experiences with it, and how it's transforming lives. And when I am discussing these things or meditating is the only time I feel free of my addictions.

Perhaps you can find an income sufficient to provide for you family through guiding people through the necessary stages of contemplative sobriety.  Also, I truly hope, and aspire to, you and Michel working out a path to recovery from psychiatric medication.