Asceticism - "Severe self-discipline and avoidance of all forms of indulgence, typically for religious reasons."
To the Anagamis and Arahants,
It has become painfully clear that the only ways in which this life has become fulfilling through this journey of the last 8 years has been through asceticism in context of the N8P. Especially recently this has been made obvious, although I have not recorded it on here as I should. I want to experience the bliss of self-denial again, and always. I owe gratitude to too many to list, but Alexander has been the most recent to repeatedly remind me of the importance of self-denial.
If I'm allowed one desire, it is to ask for your guidance on one point. I have made progress recently, but I am prepared to make a greater ascetic commitment. I have one problem, and it is that Knowing reveals so many opportunities for self-denial in even a 5 minute period. But, it's not just self-denial. Knowing says to do many things. For example, i am writing an e-mail to someone, and Knowing "says" "Make the meditation video." Or "Do Yoga now." and explains why Yoga is beneficial for asceticism. They come so fast.
I live in a small area with others, though have a room to myself. In recollection of past periods of asceticism, I anticipate if I were to follow all of Knowing's guidance, I may again have lashouts that jeopardize my life situation. This includes other people who I do not wish to impact. As I have a very delicate life situation, I can't go "balls to the wall" and risk these lash outs and extreme behavior.
My Question:
Do I follow every single Knowing? Or, do I target specific self-indulgences, one-to-a-few at a time? If so, do I target the biggest or, the more manageable self-indulgences?
We are getting down to the final indulgences. Things which accrued early in childhood. This is the reason for my request.
Thank you for your support.
