Recovery through responsible living

[Jhanananda]

This is not meant to be an indictment of anyone.  It is only meant to be a reflection upon my own life experience and learning processes.

My life is all about healing and recovery and has been so for the last 40 years. What I know about healing and recovery from my own healing and recovery, is as along as one lives in denial then there can be no recovery or healing. 

Thus, those who want healing and recovery must leave behind denial and embrace responsible living.  Responsible living is taking responsibility for past harmful actions, making an effort not to repeat them, and make amends for past harmful actions.

Living responsibly requires self-examination, self-awareness, apologizing for past harmful actions to others, and making an effort not to repeat past actions that cause harm, and make amends for past harmful actions.

When we, who do not wish to suffer unnecessarily in life, find a person, place or thing in our life that consistently causes us pain and/or suffering, then we must learn to avoid that person, place of thing. 

My family has been a consistent source of pain and suffering for me, so I chose to avoid them 40 years ago.  I have forgiven them of their harm to me; however, every interaction with them, which there were few interaction with them in the last 40 years, has consistently resulted in harm and suffering to me, so I now chose to never see any of them again.

The contemplative community, the Buddhist priesthood, and various gurus has been a consistent source of pain and suffering for me, so I chose to avoid them 13 years ago.  I have forgiven them of their harm to me; however, every interaction with them, which there were few interaction in the last 13 years, has consistently resulted in harm and suffering to me, so I now chose to never interact with any of them again.

[stugandolf]

I also do not actively deal with my family.  I talk with my sister once a year - we both seem to like it this way.  I have never experienced a functional family; I am ready to admit that there might be one somewhere.  I do have a good relationship with my son - but then he knows how to be in the zone.

[Jhanananda]

Thank-you Stu, for providing a data point in my premise that the entire fabric of civilization is hopelessly corrupt.  The problem with the journey to recovery/enlightenment is overcoming the denial system that cements civilization together.  For you and I, it seems, that cement has long since collapsed.

[Cybermonk]

Hello Cybermonks,

Personally.... embracing the love/hate viewpoints will only reinforce them.
I find myself bouncing between the positive/negative, for me, is only
pointing to some part of my "self" which wants to construct drama in my
life.

Why? Perhaps I'm bored. Maybe I've slowly put myself in a comfortable
box of constructs, where my self worth won't be challenged. Self evaluation
is always a pain in the rear.

Also, speaking of myself, I have to admit that the negative attention from
others, is somehow a part of the whole. It drives my passions with the
energy of hate, making me angry enough to get off my duff and do
something. When its positive, pat on the back, energy, well.... it would
seem I would get motivation of equal amounts, but I don't. Rather..... it
seems I use the love to increase the energy of hate.

So.... really, I've come to a conclusion that my viewpoint is off. Now I
look at the energy's of love/hate, positive/negative, as being only tools
in my backpack, something I use, then put away, as needed. I've found
it is much more agreeable to my inner self. 

So.... now I don't throw away this or that. When someone hits me with
negativity, of course my first impulse is the knee jerk reflex response,
but now I also ask myself; "what can I use this for"? Its odd.... when
I take this viewpoint, sometimes the source of the negativity reveals
itself to me, then I get a glimmer of a different energy... compassion,
So it goes,
Kimo
 

[Jhanananda]

If we want recovery from our addictive behavior, then we simply must unpack our belief systems.  Not doing so, make us just naive.

If we want recovery, then we simply must live a lifestyle to is conducive to recovery, and we must want recovery, or we are not going to have it.