Jhanon's Blog

[Jhanon]

I really wish I had the necessary time to commit for accessing divine inspiration to get a book launched out of the GWV. Sure, I could write a page or two every other day; but it won't be nearly as good as if I had the entire day to commit to channeling divine inspiration. It needs to have that Energy behind the writing--like how we set-off charisms for people when they interact near to us.

[Jhanon]

Thanks to Alexander...

114. Reject and deny yourself, and you will gain power over your actions. But go easy on yourself and you will become more and more a slave.

I have become slack in these efforts, and lost what little progress in it I had.

[Alexander]

Thank you, Jhanon, I had rewritten this quote this morning but because of your post I decided I liked this phrasing better.

[Cal]

I find truth in this in the context of addiction mostly. I also read your post, Alexander, and found the wisdom necessary therein to end a very long term addiction to opioid pain relievers. But it was also in an attempt to battle this bastard ego of mine. All the same, 13 days without one addiction and I thank you very graciously for your wisdom.

[Jhanon]

Thank you, Jhanon, I had rewritten this quote this morning but because of your post I decided I liked this phrasing better.

You're welcome(?) I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget about it, as it is the only one that really stood out as "left to do." Which is most certainly not to say that I don't have quite a long road ahead of me, still.

If you don't mind, Alexander, will you tell me the revision you intended for that phrase?

[Jhanon]

General Vent:

How is it that I don't have an employer, yet I seem to work harder than most people?

Also, why then do people look at me like "Get a job, hippie."

Go fuck yourself. Or better yet; learn to use your own fucking mind instead of waddling around like a fucking do-do. Look at how everything is shit, and we just keep covering it over with different shit, pretending everything is fine until our death beds. I don't ignore it, and I'm doing something REALISTIC about it. How the hell did so many humans get so easily indoctrinated? Are you that afraid? Or are you just fucking stupid?

Now, who is the irresponsible one? It's not me. I just happen to see more clearly than you.

Get a clue, idiot.

[Cal]

It is human nature to wish ill of others, because in doing so, they believe they have overcome their own shortcomings. Some may excuse it as "trying to teach a lesson", but in the end it is within themselves that they must do battle, if they wish peace.

Now im a householder Jhanon, I work 16 hours a day 5-6 days per week, as you know. I wish for the moon and the stars to find just a moment of peace to search for enlightenment. You also know, that i sleep maybe 5 hours a night. I choose to sacrifice my own well-being, I choose to suffer this, because for me, it is necessary. Not only have I learned that within conflict and discomfort can you know oneself, but you can also find change and growth.

With that said, do not be party to the mold they have cast for you, because it is how you say, they are the ones confused. Rather, search within for the answer, and decide if change is warranted.

If you wanna go job hunting, im off today. You and I found a laugh once, in the words; "The world doesnt wait for us." "No it sure fuckin doesnt!"

[Jhanon]

Oh, boy. Whatever I was going through the past few days was definitely SOMETHING. Life is a trip. For me, I dunno, it just gets more and more enthralling. Like "What!? How could this...oh wait, now there's this? How, but...oh no, this too!?"

I'm just saying, I'm feeling good. Getting lots of blasts, and feel good. Feel right. Not intellectually right. Just right.

[Jhanon]

Okay, fine, i'll bite.

I had a "rapture" experience in 2012 (Kundalini). I was gone, man. I mean it. I didn't go to other realms or anything like that. It wasn't that. I never felt like that. It felt like straight up Union--except I somehow didn't finish it. That was the biggest one. When I came back, I felt like I wasn't able to let go all the way. That's just how i felt. It may have been for other people, at least in the context i am presenting it.

So, *sigh*, you know all that 2012 stuff? And then, I dunno, I heard that there was a "first rapture" and then a much larger "second rapture" for everyone else (revelations.) I lost the most benevolent friend I'd ever met--in 2012. She was also prophetic, or seemingly. Before she went, she told many people to get out of America.

Look, I don't know any of this stuff. I know how crazy it sounds. And I tend to stay away from prophecy, because it can be distracting and anxiety-ridden. But, what is everyone's take on all this? More specifically, I am looking for direct knowledge anyone has. I've had some insight/kundalini blasts (just a few minutes ago) that weren't exactly indicative that this is incorrect. Please forgive my ignorance.

I just wanna be on the straight and narrow, so to speak. And I've never addressed this part of all of it.

[Jhanon]

Something very strange is going on. Firstly, I am hyper aware to the drawbacks of indulging desires, like food. It causes me extreme discomfort to indulge even half of what I did a month ago. More importantly, whenever I do too much, I get hit with strong charisms. Right now I am experiencing strong charismatic hearing. I mean STRONG. My ears literally feel like they are buzzing. My ear lobes especially. But it's not just that. It's always a different charism.

I don't know what the heck is going on, but I hope it will not stop. It is painful, and concerning, but I am weak with desires. And I really appreciate the charismatic help in the form of hyper awareness of discomfort from indulgence, and potency of charisms. This condition has been at least a week running, now. And it appears to be related to Cal. Let it be noted it is 12:25am when the charismatic ringing has increased to very loud and inignorable.

One more note: yesterday I finally popped out of those weird mood swings and drunkennes, which were extreme. It was followed by euphoria. Also, I am experiencing tremendous charismatic draw. I am being flooded by serious students or newcomers. I barely had a free moment for the last 12 hours. I honestly cannot see how something hasn happened. Some kind of progress has been made. It's written everywhere.

[Jhanon]

Let it be further noted that charism is so strong I am actually concerned. I'm really concerned about what is going on. It feels almost like God is shouting at me, for lack of a better term.

[Jhanon]

I have looked up common causes for tinnitus, in te case it is not charismatic, and it seems unlikely. The only thing close is uncommonly high aspirin use in a day. Usually it's 12 or more. But I've only had 5, which is the most I've taken in a looooong time. Still, maybe that is it.

[Jhanon]

I'm still wondering if there is a physical cause, but I can't understand why it would coincide with all the other phenomena. Nonetheless, if it's not gone in the morning, then I'll have to go see a doc. It is possible to be physical, at least in this respect.

[Jhanon]

This is very strange. I may have found a cauSe, and yet it has been very helpful.

[Jhanananda]

With the presence of other charisms, and leading a contemplative life, it sounds like the tinnitus that you are experiencing is very likely to be the charism of sound.  Taking a lot of aspirin is certainly going to lead to other medical problems, so you might work on a healthier way to deal with whatever inflammatory condition that you may have.

Also, I hear your struggle, and I too struggle, as anyone who lives on the physical plane has to struggle.  I have been reflecting upon the struggle and I believe that how dhukkha is expressed in the suttas could also include the basic struggle for life.  This means, as long as we are in a physical body there will be struggle.