to understand that I am a completely broken person with massive PTSD, so if I even think of the past or future for a moment I am propelled into deep depression, anxiety and suffering.
That has been your path though, as it has been mine. Funny how the universe always finds a way to balance the scales. The mystic said, “one can only rise to the heights of heaven after one has descended into the depths of hell.”
Michael, I don’t want to be impertinent, but I want you to watch this.
https://youtu.be/dAiCjRxWBJQ
Thanks for the video, Alexander. I took notes throughout, pausing, reversing, like I was getting ready for a test at the end, lol.
Really excellent service the creators are providing with this series on the Divine Comedy. I have several translations that I dip into from time to time, but having a canto in synopsis like this is very helpful.
So, we are in Purgatory on the level of the sin of Pride (and Arrogance). You are very perceptive, my friend. At the very beginning of my Fall (also depicted in this canto - the fall of Lucifer and many others), I knew that my arrogant self-image was crashing down. The scene of the hero general begging for money to free a friend in the king's prison, the humiliation he felt (and that he prophesied would afflict Dante some day) - such an accurate image of how I often felt, having withdrawn from society in utter shame. The prideful carrying stones on their backs, crumpled into "an intensely uncomfortable position" - reminds me of a couple episodes where I had a slipped disc in my neck, which kept me awake, pacing and moaning and crying for days and nights at a time (I'm actually going through that again right now, over the past couple months). To realize that the heavy weight symbolizes pride and arrogance is a powerful insight. Apparently the rock on my back is still there.
And then the Angel of Humility approaches, robed in white. Its wing brushes against Dante's forehead, removing one of the 7 P's (sins). The angel tells them that the steps up the mountain are nearby, and that the climb will be much easier. So, the message is, do the Purgatory time to reflect and understand pride and its effects, then lay down the burden before rejoining the upward path.
The thing about the Comedy that always gets me is the self-honesty that Dante expresses, showing that he himself is afflicted with whatever sin he happens to be examining. This makes the message universal and authentic. It reminds me of how our Jhanananda is so willing to expose his frailties and wounds, which connects our plight with his.
Genuine humility is not a concept that can be worn like a garment. It's something that happens through life experience that wears down our pride and arrogance. This canto shows that Dante thought he could equal or even surpass God in terms of creating divine art. We want to go straight to "being God" without passing through the necessary realizations, and it just doesn't work that way. Our delusions must be exposed and dealt with, one way or another.
I'm thinking of the original purpose of this thread, and how it connects with this issue of pride vs. humility. The 8th fold describes skillful meditation in terms of bliss, joy and ecstasy, the idea being that frequent exposure to deeper levels of absorption helps to dissolve the fetters that bind us to the wheel of existence. The 5 Aggregates and the 3 Marks of Existence are helpful for self-reflection around where we are at a given point along the path - what we are feeling and experiencing, or in Dante's symbolism, which P we are working with. As you've so perceptively detected, pride was the big boulder on my back when I crashed and burned, leading to complete withdrawal from friends, loved ones and support structures like the GWV. I've been on the level of Purgatory described by Dante in this canto... and perhaps now I'm ready to get back to climbing the mountain. Which means, re-engaging the practice that dissolves fetters.
I hope this all makes sense. I very much appreciate everyone's participation as I work this out for myself.
