Jhanon's Blog

[Jhanon]

I call it a charismatic symphony.  Keep practicing, I am sure you will get there quite soon.

I do, whenever I can justify it. I must at least make effort to provide shelter and sustenance for myself in the near future.

I just came across some of the Interior Castle which renewed me to some extent.

"What a farce it is! Here are we, with a thousand obstacles, drawbacks, and imperfections within ourselves, our virtues so newly born that they have scarcely the strength to act (and God grant that they exist at all!) yet we are not ashamed to expect sweetness in prayer and to complain of feeling dryness.

Do not act thus, sisters; embrace the cross your Spouse bore on His shoulders; know that your motto should be: 'Most happy she who suffers most if it be for Christ!' All else should be looked upon as secondary: if our Lord give it you, render Him grateful thanks. You may imagine you would be resolute in enduring external trials if God gave you interior consolations: His Majesty knows best what is good for us; it is not for us to advise Him how to treat us, for He has the right to tell us that we know not what we ask. Remember, it is of the greatest importance--the sole aim of one beginning to practise prayer should be to endure trials, and to resolve and strive to the utmost of her power to conform her own will to the will of God. Be certain that in this consists all the greatest perfection to be attained in the spiritual life, as I will explain later. She who practices this most perfectly will receive from God the highest reward and is the farthest advanced on the right road. Do not imagine that we have need of a cabalistic formula or any other occult or mysterious thing to attain it our whole welfare consists in doing the will of God. If we start with the false principle of wishing God to follow our will and to lead us in the way we think best, upon what firm foundation can this spiritual edifice rest?"

This needs to be read with discernment, but it seems like she is saying "Quit complaining and endure, for this path is best for you and worth the destination." It's humbling for me to read this. It's interesting just how much some passages like this could be misunderstood.

I wonder if others see this as only written to appease the would-be "book burners".

[Jhanananda]

This needs to be read with discernment, but it seems like she is saying "Quit complaining and endure, for this path is best for you and worth the destination." It's humbling for me to read this. It's interesting just how much some passages like this could be misunderstood.

I wonder if others see this as only written to appease the would-be "book burners".

I think it is both, "Quit complaining and endure, for this path is best for you and worth the destination."  It is also appeasing her Dominican "book burners".

[Jhanon]

Hahahaha, yes, that makes sense. Or maybe you just don't want to negate a positive message I gleamed from an otherwise unnecessary bit of "code" in Teresa's book

[Jhanon]

The following is quite random:

Over the last few weeks that I've known I'm losing my home, it has been very difficult for me to be resilient and look forward to this change with hope. Which after spending some restorative time having discussion with this group again, I remember that just a few months ago I was wishing I could leave and be ordained. Now it seems that is what is going to happen, anyway, but not entirely by my choice--which makes it a bit easier, actually, to deal with. How pathetic the human is. Always wanting things to be the way it wants, even if it isn't what's best.

I wonder if there has ever been more active members than the handful we currently have. Not that it matters, because even just a few active members help me stay on track.

I checked the weather today, and realized Jhananda's current town of Tucson is 66 degrees! That's the most moderate temperature today out of New Zealand, California, Washington, and France! I wish I could snap my fingers and be there. The gloomy, wet winters here are starting to get to me. But I suppose then, in Tucson, I would have to deal with wind and brown

That's all for now.

[Jhanon]

Today I find my mind filled with remembering the stories of the Buddha and his sangha. How they wandered together, committed to the pursuit of enlightenment. Oh, how I long for the support and companionship of a truly dedicated sangha in the flesh. There is so much benefit to have spiritual companions.

It seems the current age might be the last call for those intending enlightenment. As the earth's wilderness disappears, and technological distractions increase, I wonder if this is the end of an enlightenment era. Or if humanity will be able to hang on for a bit longer, and keep the doors open.

It seems to me that no matter what efforts humans make to improve life as a human, that humanity will always be encumbered by the laws of this realm. One difficulty is traded for another, all the while few are realizing that we're just changing the drapes. There seems only one true way for change to happen, and I suspect many of the others here have considered this.

I wish I could feel more confidence that God or the Universe will reward the noble efforts I've made to transcend the woes of human life. That the upcoming transition is a gift. That all the suffering and turmoil of the past while I worked relentlessly to find and commit my life to the most beneficial and noble endeavor a human can (enlightenment) will pay off.

I look at what of Jhananda's life I know, and I know it has been tough--but I also know he has spent what appears to be many blissful days and nights in the wilderness--enjoying the fruits of the contemplative life. I hope I will be gifted or able to make a similar thing happen.

[Jhanon]

If one was in a house on fire, one wouldn't search for a room to sit that wasn't on fire. Because one would still be burned.

In the same way, it is pointless to endeavor solely in making worldly life more tolerable. Because one would still be burned.

The only way is to get out.

[Jhanananda]

I checked the weather today, and realized Jhananda's current town of Tucson is 66 degrees! That's the most moderate temperature today out of New Zealand, California, Washington, and France! I wish I could snap my fingers and be there. The gloomy, wet winters here are starting to get to me. But I suppose then, in Tucson, I would have to deal with wind and brown

That's all for now.

Part of the mendicant life is the flexibility to travel from wherever the weather is unpleasant to wherever the weather is pleasant.  The winters in Tucson tend to be quite nice, but the summers tend to be miserable.

Today I find my mind filled with remembering the stories of the Buddha and his sangha. How they wandered together, committed to the pursuit of enlightenment. Oh, how I long for the support and companionship of a truly dedicated sangha in the flesh. There is so much benefit to have spiritual companions.

I look at what of Jhananda's life I know, and I know it has been tough--but I also know he has spent what appears to be many blissful days and nights in the wilderness--enjoying the fruits of the contemplative life. I hope I will be gifted or able to make a similar thing happen.

It is possible in every age to develop a community (sangha), we all just need to learn to work together to make it happen, one at a time.

If one was in a house on fire, one wouldn't search for a room to sit that wasn't on fire. Because one would still be burned.

In the same way, it is pointless to endeavor solely in making worldly life more tolerable. Because one would still be burned.

The only way is to get out.

This makes a lot of sense to me.

[Jhanon]

In these days, if one has a mundane question, one can just Google it.

This morning I woke up from yet another seemingly developmental dream, and felt worthless. Morning is when I at my weakest. I thought "No one likes me. They just tolerate me because I have a good heart." And I remembered most of my past and how eventually everyone's mask fell away and I realized I was utterly alone. Then I thought about present day, and saw the same thing to a lesser degree. Then I felt like a failure, too--in the worldly sense.

Then I remembered the critical thinking on free will which I shared. And I felt "Oh, yeah. You're not even really in control. What's the sense in letting it bother you? But then I began to think I wasn't sure about that.

And so, I attempted to google it, seeing as how I couldn't, at the time, recall any samadhi experiences in which I specifically observed it during the experience. I could only recall past experiences that reflected it. But I forgot that Google is basically useless for finding out "what specific samadhi stage does volition fall completely away." Because it's all garbage. It took me scanning through a page of search results to re-realize.

And I'm more-or-less back where I started.

[Jhanon]

It is very strange that I sometimes wake in the disposition I just wrote above. It vanishes so quickly, and I'm left wondering what mechanics are going on there.

[Jhanon]

Earlier in the NDE Natalie thread, Jhananda mentioned a pop, gunshot, or slamming kind of noise when one re-enters the body. Upon reading this, a memory came to me of a meditation I'm completely confused about, to this day. I thought I had remembered accurately, but further inspection both with my partner who entered the room, and my blog, revealed something far different. Here is the initial account earlier in my blog.

"Today I only had one meditation session, as much of today was gobbled up with care taking. It was two hours long. At about one hour 10 minutes, it began getting really strong and quite more pleasant than usual. I was really enjoying it. I am uncertain which jhana it was. It was at least the strongest 2nd jhana I've had. There was a loud heater fan on, and I felt it may have been interfering with ability for deeper states. I carefully remained saturated as I turned it off and get back to it. It regained it's depth, and then some.

Strangely, despite not being sleepy, that is all I remember until I was sitting up (I had been laying) staring at someone who had entered the room. I struggled to understand what happened and I had a distinct confusion. I felt like I had been meditating for a very long time, perhaps days. Because the visitor brought responsibility, I unfortunately hurried my mind to establish itself. I felt shocked, and began telling the visitor about what I thought I thought I had seen in meditation. They informed me that I was describing the current day. I was shocked and confused, sitting in silence trying to understand. I looked at my stopwatch app; it had only been a total of 2 hours.

I realized I was pissing away my memory of what happened by rushing my mind. I tried to recall, because it was obviously SOMETHING new-ish. But it was too late. I was utterly perplexed. I still am. I asked the visitor to be careful when I am meditating. They said they thought they heard me leave the room for a moment, and so thought I was finished. Now I was really confused. They also said that I was already sitting up when they came in the room. Even more confused because I thought I had bolted up because of a knock or somehow knowing there was someone coming in--there was no knock made."

I asked my partner about it just now. She said she came into the room and I was no longer lying. I was sitting straight-up, and staring straight ahead. She said she figured that was just how I meditated, but in hindsight, she did find it odd that my eyes were open, I was sitting straight up, and didn't appear to "be there." She says she left the room after about 3 minutes, putting our child to bed, and using the bathroom; a total time of about 20 minutes she was gone. There was no slamming doors, and no knocking in physicality.

When she came back, I was in the exact same position. At the very moment she re-entered the room I became aware again. Note that she said she while she was showering that she thought she heard me leave the room, and so figured I had finished.

HOW does that get explained?
1) For at least the last 20 minutes, I have no recollection of what happened. I just remember telling her about my experience, and her saying "you're referring to today."
2) Upon returning, I felt like many days had passed.
3) She said she heard me leave the room while she was in the shower, but when she came back, I appeared to be in the same position. She is an excellent witness, and never embellishes or exaggerates.
4) Some kind of loud knock or knowing brought me back to ordinary consciousness.
5) I don't meditate sitting up, because the pain is too distracting.
6) I always take 3 minute or so to slowly bring myself out of absorption, but this time I was abruptly and suddenly aware of the physical plane, and in a far different position than I began.
7) I don't meditate with my eyes open, although I may occasionally peek out of my eyes for a second.

What the hell happened? Was I like possessed or something, and did I actually leave the room while she was in the shower? Why did I describe the current day when I explained my experience? Is it possible to make physical noises while OOB? Or, is it possible for someone else to detect non-physical noises made by me while in OOB?

I need to find out what this was.

I tried to access this memory in meditation just now, but wasn't deep enough. Too many outside distractions. I've only "viewed" (what's the actual term we use for "remote viewing" here?) a handful of times, but they have all been 99 percent accurate. I think it is possible for me to find out what happened on that day by viewing it. And I can't explain it, but my need to know this is very strong.

[Jhanananda]

]HOW does that get explained?
1) For at least the last 20 minutes, I have no recollection of what happened. I just remember telling her about my experience, and her saying "you're referring to today."

There are a number of ways to explain this, but let us stick with the facts.  It sounds like you may have dosed off, or gone OOBE, but since you cannot recall what happened then we should say you dosed off.  I happens.

2) Upon returning, I felt like many days had passed.

Space/time dilation is a common experience returning from an OOBE, or waking from sleep.

3) She said she heard me leave the room while she was in the shower, but when she came back, I appeared to be in the same position. She is an excellent witness, and never embellishes or exaggerates.

Well, she might be a good witness, but she did not see you.  There could be other explanations why she thought you had left the room.  Or, you did leave the room, and you were sleep walking.

4) Some kind of loud knock or knowing brought me back to ordinary consciousness.

This would fit the OOBE reentry noise, like a sonic boom.

5) I don't meditate sitting up, because the pain is too distracting.

OK, so you reentered and the loud sound caused you to sit up, but you did not recall sitting up.

6) I always take 3 minute or so to slowly bring myself out of absorption, but this time I was abruptly and suddenly aware of the physical plane, and in a far different position than I began.

The OOBE sonic boom can explain this.

7) I don't meditate with my eyes open, although I may occasionally peek out of my eyes for a second.

People have been known to have their eyes open, or talk, or walk in their sleep.  This is the best explanation. Otherwise we will have to go for you were possessed by demons, and now we will have to burn you at the stake :-)

[Jhanon]

I agree it is the most likely. How interesting.

[Jhanon]

The first stage of noble attainment is "stream winner" (sotapana).  The attainment of the stream winner is essentially finding the first jhana consistently.  The "stream" being the religious experience (jhana/samadhi).

Attaining the first jhana is based upon the basic behavioral changes required to become a contemplative, which is leading a disciplined life, which is essentially avoiding unwholesome thoughts and behaviors, while also engaging in the practice of meditation. 

Eventually one who leads a contemplative life finds some fulfillment in it, which is faith, bliss, and joy, while also finding a reduction in the 1st 3 fetters: Narcissism & clan identification (sakkaya-ditthi), Skeptical doubt (vicikiccha), and Clinging to rules, rights and rituals (silabbata-paramasa).

The second stage of noble (Arya) attainment is "once returner" (Sakadágámi).  This person will have moved beyond meditating only once a week to daily meditation practice, and beyond meditation techniques, to the stilling of the mind; therefore this contemplative will have eradicated the 1st 3 fetters and weakened the 4th and 5th fetters: erotic craving (kama-raga) & Ill-will or aversion (vyapada). 

The third stage of noble (Arya) attainment is "Non-return" (Anágámi).  This person will have moved beyond meditating only once a day to meditating 2 or 3 times a day, and from 20 minute meditation sits to hour-long meditation sits, and beyond meditation techniques, and beyond the stilling of the mind, to deep equanimity during meditation; therefore this contemplative has eradicated the first five fetters.

Here is my issue. I wish to determine my current level of attainment. Absorbing is easy as pie. Even when there are kids running around making lots of noise, I can remain in at least second jhana. If I get to third, then even all their noise is just noise. It's not aggravating, but I do notice it.

Out of these 5 fetters, I have doubt about erotic craving and aversion (eg I feel apprehension about going to the retreat). The rest are, in my observation, entirely eradicated.

The latter fetters eradicated by the arahant, I am sure I still have. Anyone who might question me or help me find how I may be deluding myself would be appreciated. But conviction is 100 percent on the first 3 fetters eradication, and significant attenuation or complete eradication of aversion and erotic craving. I have difficulty discerning the difference between aversion and fear.

I wonder if there are other erotic cravings other than what I've discussed?

Throughout the day, my mind is still, and feels like it has a strong foundation. Always still. Ripples rarely happen, but they come and then go. When I meditate, I lay down and absorb immediately into 1st jhana. I may already be in it throughout the day. Actually, yeah, I am. I fall asleep in second or third jhana most nights I can recall.

I think a safe bet is once-returner, but I generally under-estimate.

[Jhanon]

It would be most appreciated if someone confirmed at this level of attainment or higher were to question me in regards to my claims. Such as "When people mis-treat you despite the pure intentions you've held for them, do you feel averse to them? Or hope they "get what's coming"?

[Jhanananda]

I haven't spent much time considering the attainment of myself and even less time that of others. Last night was the first time I considered that of others. So I can't comment much, yet.

I did have a question about the fetters. "Clan identification", is that the same as identification with or suffering from societal expectations?

Clan identification (sakkaya-ditthi) is how our identity is often tied up in our family of origin, our region, our race, our nation, etc. As we advance due to saturation in the charisms, then the layers of the self begin to unravel, which is also called non-dualism.

Here is my issue. I wish to determine my current level of attainment. Absorbing is easy as pie. Even when there are kids running around making lots of noise, I can remain in at least second jhana. If I get to third, then even all their noise is just noise. It's not aggravating, but I do notice it.

Out of these 5 fetters, I have doubt about erotic craving and aversion (eg I feel apprehension about going to the retreat). The rest are, in my observation, entirely eradicated.

This is anxiety.  Anxiety is one of the last fetters to go, but it declines as our contemplative life deepens due to saturation into the charisms (nimittas).

The latter fetters eradicated by the arahant, I am sure I still have. Anyone who might question me or help me find how I may be deluding myself would be appreciated. But conviction is 100 percent on the first 3 fetters eradication, and significant attenuation or complete eradication of aversion and erotic craving. I have difficulty discerning the difference between aversion and fear.

I wonder if there are other erotic cravings other than what I've discussed?

Throughout the day, my mind is still, and feels like it has a strong foundation. Always still. Ripples rarely happen, but they come and then go. When I meditate, I lay down and absorb immediately into 1st jhana. I may already be in it throughout the day. Actually, yeah, I am. I fall asleep in second or third jhana most nights I can recall.

I think a safe bet is once-returner, but I generally under-estimate.

It sounds like you are a "Non-return" (Anágámi).

The third stage of noble (Arya) attainment is "Non-return" (Anágámi).  This person will have moved beyond meditating only once a day to meditating 2 or 3 times a day, and from 20 minute meditation sits to hour-long meditation sits, and beyond meditation techniques, and beyond the stilling of the mind, to deep equanimity during meditation; therefore this contemplative has eradicated the first five fetters.

The thing to get about the noble levels of attainment is today you might be Non-return" (Anágámi); however, you might be successful at deepening your contemplative life further, so when you have spent enough time being saturated in the 4th jhana, then you will have been transformed by it into an arahat.