Introduction
The beauty of poetry is in its asymmetrical symmetry.
Eight years ago, I had a daughter and fiance. A year later my quality of life and practice vaporized as I was forced out of their lives and those of nearly everyone I held dear. At least, that's what I thought at the time. I spent the next seven years forgetting.
The first three years were spent on the streets, or in brief stints living with friends which invariably resulted in more seemingly causeless persecution. The nourishing water of my practice was still there, but as it was in the form of vapor, it was of no more use to me than a cloud floating overhead in a desert.
As those three years concluded, having little responsibilities and armed with significant funds, I threw everything to the wind and began wandering.
A few days before my 33rd birthday, my father killed himself. At the same time I received the news, I met many like-minded individuals. My new friends and I explored the continent, different representations of "success," how each individual was responsible for defining their own version of it, and the stories of those who achieved it.
Scientists and psychologists like Newton, Einstein, and Jung. Entrepreneurs like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet. Artists and inventors such as Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, and believe it or not--even Lil' Wayne. I interviewed all walks of life on topics such as these, as well as controversial topics like Law of Attraction, psychedelics, gender fluidity, and COVID.
I studied all these and more from a fresh perspective. In this way, I've found missteps to be a path to more holistic knowledge. After all, if you circle a mountain you intend to summit, you fully under-stand the mountain. In the same way, when a liquid such as the practice is turned to vapor, it removes all impurities through distillation when it is concentrated back into liquid form. I offer this purified distillation below.
What the Buddha taught, and what he attained, are different. He taught the path to liberation. This is because liberation cannot be communicated with words, since words are of existence, and existence is inherently dualistic.
Zen
Reality doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes.
This level is knowing the fundamentals of reality which echo in a fractal nature throughout all phenomena. One will see "coincidences" which act as the penmanship of reality. Reality doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. 1+1=2, 2+1=3, 3+2=5, etc. This is also called compound interest, the Fibonacci sequence, Golden Ratio, etc.
Other fundamentals like what is often called the Laws of Motion, Law of Attraction, cause and effect, karma, you reap what you sew, etc, fall under this. Everything contains this, even words themselves--such as fundaMENTAL--meaning the FoUNDAtion is MENTAL, the mind. Every major historical human being utilized this knowledge either consciously or unconsciously. When unconsciously utilized, it is dangerous in its power. When we remain consistently conscious of this fundaMENTAL, it is more beneficial in its power and known as Zen.
The more holistically one becomes aware of this, the greater their ability to utilize it toward attaining more extra-ordinary results.
Enlightenment
Becoming lucid in a dream is the poetry of Enlightenment in reality.
Varying levels of ability to control and navigate reality due to greater breadth and intensity of awareness of the fundaMENTAL. This includes "miracles." In all levels of consciousness from "dreams," to "death," to higher and lower planes, and even daily life, one oscillates between different intensity and breadth of awareness of the fundaMENTAL.
Because one sees the "coincidences"--the consistent penmanship of reality--one also sees inconsistencies between the endless levels of consciousness. It's like when you read someone's penmanship when they were under the influence of sleep-deprivation or a drug. You notice the inconsistency because you're familiar with the consistencies of their penmanship.
As the consistencies of reality's penmanship emanating from the fundaMENTAL becomes the foundation of our awareness, we wake up. Having experienced "death"(NDE) in the last 7 years, I say that these consistent inconsistencies can be utilized to become and remain aware of the nature of reality which enables increasing levels of power of choice.
An example many can relate to is how looking at a clock in a "dream," looking away, then looking back at it again causes one to notice the inconsistency in the flow of time compared to "waking life", become lucid, and take control of the dream. Becoming lucid in a dream is the poetry of Enlightenment in reality. This same thing is happening on all levels of consciousness. The intensity and breadth of this awareness can be increased or decreased, but once we awaken in this life, we cannot go back to sleep all the way.
Trust me: I tried. Jhanananda knows about my attempts to. I was basically Cipher in the Matrix, "They're going to reinsert my body. Ignorance is bliss."
Once we reach this point, there's no going back. In other words, if most of what I'm saying makes sense, you've reached this point of no return. That's what the Buddha meant by "liberation within 7 lifetimes." I'll explain how I came to know this through direct experience via the near-death experience later.
Nibbana
To snuff out.
Interestingly, as we increase our power of choice by making the fundaMENTAL our foundation of awareness, we continue to find suffering. Obviously someone who can perform miracles appears to experience less suffering by comparison to a common human. However, there is still suffering as experienced.
Surely, even in higher states of consciousness where I've exercised such power, there was still subtle suffering, albeit comparatively subtle. In the same way as many of the wealthiest people I studied enjoy less suffering compared to impoverished people, yet the inverse is also true. Whatever the level of power or lack of power, whatever the level of consciousness, suffering still exists.
Therefor, Nibbana is "beyond levels of consciousness," and beyond reality. Minor attachments in awareness like allowing oneself to be distracted by miracles or looking down on humans which are less aware, desire for ecstatic states of higher consciousness, and even attachment to the seeking of liberation keep one from attaining liberation because these are all still OF reality. Words fail to communicate it and I therefor have little to say on it since it just goes in circles.
Conclusion
Choosing my next life is enough for now.
My experiences have shown me that within reality, the levels of consciousness are endless. This means all the planes we may take life in. Even becoming one with all existence eventually brought me to a state where you and I were insignificant specks in the body of a being just like you and I are right now.
To get an idea of this, observe how we can zoom into our body and find entire universes within a single bacteria which makes up our bodies. Indeed, science has even shown that the bacteria in our digestive system makes up a large quantity of our automatic impulses. Of course, intensity of awareness can navigate these impulses.
So as I became one with first the planet, then the solar system, the galaxy, the universe, the universe of universes, etc, I soon found myself to be aware as a being just like you and I are aware of ourselves now. Except within that body in this experience, our bodies were like that of tiny specks within a single bacteria. This is where the phrase "God made us in His image" comes from.
It's beyond these endless levels and levels of levels which the Buddha "went to," and why it can't be put into words. The closest words I've come to is Absolute Snuffing Out (ParaNibbana) or existencelessness.
Anyone familiar with my earlier writings will note an undercurrent of almost competitive racing toward attainment. However, since the Near-Death Experience, I know now from direct experience, that when this body is returned to the planet, I will have choice of where I take life next. Choosing my next life is enough for now.
This is what I meant earlier about the Buddha's statement of "enlightenment within 7 lifetimes." I now know from direct experience that my writings from 8 and 9 years ago on the forum about at least attaining Stream-Winning are true.
As you will also note in every story of an enlightened being, the moments leading up to their enlightenment they dropped all striving. It had to be whole-heartedly dropped. Attachment to attainment prevents attainment.
However, in a natural feeling way, I am energetic in my practice. I've noted that as knowledge increases, and attainment develops, the effort of beginning stages gives way to energy.
To summarize; anything expressed or desired within the self-similar, dualistic nature of existence is itself part of the fractal, echoing spiral of existence. Therefor, it cannot accurately convey the supreme attainment of absolute nibbana. We cannot know what nibbana is because knowing is itself the opposite of unknowing. Meaning, "freedom from suffering" is "beyond" suffering and non-suffering, beyond experience and non-experience, beyond existence and non-existence.
