Monday night was the third time I've meditated...ever. I'd like to share the experiences I had during the second and third times, which im going to almost write word for word from my journal. I'm struggling here to keep a grip on reality, I truly did not believe any of this was real...
8-4-2014
This is my second day of Meditation. I was able to reach Jhana 3 from the descriptions of Jhanananda. I wasn’t clear If I had reached Jhana 4 because I believe I had drifted in and out of sleep. A lot is unclear at this point. There was an almost blue flame like mesh that came from the outside of my closed eyes and engulfed all, became extremely bright, it formed a pearl almost and then everything went blank. I called to Jhanon again and I believe I was able to what im going to call sync with him. I think it has alot to do with him helping me. At least I think so, there wasn’t any music but I was hearing rock music. I meditated near the fish tank and the waterfall sound was a good source to drown out while I went through the other stages. The last song was “falling away from me” by Korn. I believe that Jhanon knows me in some point of my future. He was specific in saying that I was “down the path, whether I believed so or not”. He also said that if I chose not to meditate at this point in my life that I would anyway no later, or sometime around 15 years. Probably not, but something is strange about the situation. It's almost as if ive been here before, like its fate. Fate is an excuse. I wasn’t able to control my aura as fluid as I was the previous day, but it was with me the entire day. Lastly, I was trapped in sleep, when I tried to awake I split into what I believe was 2 separate mes where I stretched both of my arms out infront of me 2 different times. While I was trapped with one, the second repeated the action, they merged together, I awoke with both arms crossed in front of me to an extremely loud boom and the face of a vampire jumping at me.
8-11-2014
I decided to try meditation again tonight as i went to bed. As i layed there i started focusing on my breathing, deepening my breaths. It wasnt long that i was able to intensify my aura. I began to vibrate and soon after i could no longer feel my body.I wasnt able to still my mind this time fully. I kept conciously drifting my focus from my aura to my surroundings. probably because my wife and daughter were near me, i must keep them safe. the blueflame like thing came again, but it wouldnt fully engulf my vision like before. Something kept distracting me. I focused on my heart and made my aura stronger then everything stopped and lights flashed from the right to the left. I stopped breathing then came back. I focused again and it happened again. Same effect. I focused on my mother, i seen her silohette her figure, it was her. i came back with the same lights from the right to the left. I seen the face of Jesus when i focused again. Extremely detailed, vivid, i wsa awake and still not able to still my mind. If I were an artist i could recall this face and draw it to perfection. I focused again, still not able to still my thoughts. Several more times lights from right to left. Then more vivid faces started to appear, same as before extremely detailed....13 of them....demons. they came from the left corner as a ball of detailed faces, i did not acknowledge them but they were so real. one by one i willed one away for another to drift in, all different, ive never seen them before they were more detailed than my imagination could think them. why 13 of them? they came one at a time, stayed until i willed them away and the next would come the same way after....what the fuck!
This is directly from my journal after each experience minus some changing of names or the removal of...I appologize for the grammar. My aura stays with me always, it doesnt go away. It doesnt matter what im doing i feel it. When i focus on it i can make it hot. Not only that, but I get random instense vibrations from my neck at my shoulders to the very top of my head, when this happens tears fall without control. Vibrations probably isnt the right word, its more like tingling. I also get the rush of tingling less intense alot during the day without the tears, this happens when i try to remember something from meditation, or even just recalling memories from a few days ago. Mostly the last few days, and not as much in the begining. Ive been reading the last few hours trying to make sense of this and found this.
"Meditation Danger #5: Witnessing lower worlds If a meditator has a negative state of mind, he might get a glimpse of the lower worlds. She may see these worlds even when not in the meditative state. As some people get glimpses of the higher worlds without any warning, so do others see the worlds of lower vibrations. I once saw the higher world. I remember writing about it, but I can no longer remember how I named that blog post. Completely unexpectedly to me, my reality was replaced with a glimpse of the world where the surroundings had a very pleasant golden glow and the houses were extremely beautiful. Fortunately to me, I never witnessed the lower world. Why is seeing the lower worlds dangerous? The beings of the lower planes might frighten the meditator because of their negative energy and horrible appearances, to the extent that a meditator: -drops meditation practice -becomes insane -gets frightening dreams Also the meditator will feel the energy of the lower worlds, which could be much more negative and stronger than the energy of some places and persons in our world. Needless to say, this experience would be disturbing. Meditation Danger #6: Clear contacts from other worlds Meditation opens you up to perceiving non-physical phenomena. I have experienced many such phenomena during my meditation years. For example, sometimes I see dark energy blobs moving around or staying in one place. Sometimes I see dark, very defined shadows. Sometimes I see a white light or hear some sound with one ear, like a sudden shout or a whisper. At other times I feel wind when other people don’t feel it. Sometimes I even feel that someone is touching my arm or the third eye area. Why such contacts are dangerous I don’t feel frightened by such phenomena because I am prepared for it. I know that such events caused by meditation can’t harm you as long as your mind is strong and positive. But for people with weak minds or for complete meditation beginners, such experiences can be extremely frightening and may lead to the halt of the meditation practice."
I dont want to think that i have a weak mind, rather that its too much too fast...
