Last week I had one of the most fulfilling and satisfying strings of days in a long time. I very carefully recorded everything which appeared to provide this inspired, ecstatic state. Only to discover what I've discovered so many times already...
IT'S THE DRUGS, THE MEDICATIONS, THAT RUIN EVERYTHING. I can't explain how I can be so certain, because the medications are blocking that insight right now. So, if you're reading this, you'll just have to take me at my word.
I can't wait for them to run out. So I can feel, sense, experience, know. I hope in the next couple hours I will be free enough to feel more of what is at present just a spark of what huge presence has always been there. But, at least I can still feel the spark.
Yes, everyone has their own path--and it's all a process. But, I'm ready for this part of it to come to an end. God, the intellect is so boring, so gray, so flat, so bland.Who wants to hang out with a paranoid computer? I don't.
It's the conscience. That's the most generous and top-notch drug-dealer around.