Author Topic: Alexander's Blog  (Read 40703 times)

Jhanananda

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #15 on: May 27, 2015, 01:24:22 AM »
What I find works for me is to think of the body as vehicle that my soul moves around earth on.  The vehicle has certain needs.  I find if I discipline it, while meeting some of its needs, then it works for me as I need it, like a horse, or a donkey.  If one is too hard on the donkey, then the donkey might rebel, or just wear out too soon.
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bodhimind

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #16 on: May 27, 2015, 06:24:27 AM »
What I find works for me is to think of the body as vehicle that my soul moves around earth on.  The vehicle has certain needs.  I find if I discipline it, while meeting some of its needs, then it works for me as I need it, like a horse, or a donkey.  If one is too hard on the donkey, then the donkey might rebel, or just wear out too soon.

I'm curious... So does this mean that if "minor" sensory desires within the body rise, we should occasionally allow it? For example, if the body craves for unhealthy food and we deny it often? I understand the donkey analogy these days. It sometimes feels as if the body has a "self" of its own - We merely witness it as it goes (maybe I'm wrong).

Jhanananda

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2015, 12:49:53 PM »
To use your analogy, bodhimind, if one has a craving for "unhealthy" food, then one should examine the craving.  Perhaps one's perspective as to what is "unhealthy" food is incorrect.  For instance, about 40 years ago I had taken up the raw food diet system.  I did so, because salads were very appealing at the time.  A salad is good for us.

At that time I met a number of raw fooders all of whom were sneaking a Big Mac on the side.  To me they were not listening to the needs of their body.  They probably needed meat, or at least eggs, and possibly dairy.

At that time I had periodic cravings for bread, so I met those cravings with multigrain and whole grain organic breads, because I figured the body needed something in grain.

I have since come to learn that bread made in a healthy way (whole grain, multi-grain, and organic) is low carb, and has friendly flora in it from the yeast.  I now believe that a truly healthy way to prepare grains for consumption is to first sprout them, which is known as malting.  Then that malted grain should be fermented, then the liquid removed from the grain, then that grain can is made into bread, or other food items, it becomes a low carb source of friendly flora.  Fermented grains will also have higher protein content and those proteins are likely to be more complete.

So, being contemplatives we must be self-aware.  So we examine the cravings, and find healthy solutions for those cravings.

Let us say, you have sexual craving.  OK, all creatures have a powerful biological drive to reproduce.  Humans reproduce via a lengthy and drawn out mating ritual called marriage.  So, if one cannot overcome one's craving for reproductive behavior, then one must seek a healthy solution to the reproductive urge, such as mating with someone who has shared values, and whom will help raise healthy children, and whom you can live with for decades.
There is no progress without discipline.

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Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #18 on: June 24, 2015, 12:21:44 PM »
My prison sentence is nearly over...
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #19 on: June 24, 2015, 12:36:58 PM »
I had a keychain for several years with a figure of a prisoner on it. I had not thought of it much at the time. One day I just spontaneously put the prisoner figure with my keys. I think he must have been on them for about four years. Then, at one point (I think it was 2014?), I spontaneously took the prisoner off.

No thought went into this action, and the figure did not have any significance to me at the time. It is only now, in retrospection, I realize the significance the prisoner had. It is fateful I had him on my keychain. The prisoner represented the "prison sentence" I had to go through while working towards perfection - and, having served an allotted time, my inner guide told me that my imprisonment had came to an end.

It feels like a second prison sentence is ending now...
« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 01:16:17 PM by Alexander »
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2015, 01:01:43 PM »
I am thinking of this passage from St. John Climacus: the prison of the monastics here is a good analogy to the prison a real spiritual practitioner must go through.

Quote
THE PRISON - From The Ladder of Divine Ascent - John Climacus

41. At a distance of a mile from the great monastery was a place called the prison, deprived of every comfort. There neither smoke, nor wine, nor oil in the food, nor anything else could ever be seen but only bread and light vegetables. Here the pastor shut up, without permission to go out, those who fell into sin after entering the brotherhood; and not all together, but each in a separate and special cell, or at most in pairs. And he kept them there until the Lord gave him assurance of the amendment of each one.

(...)

4. And so, coming to this abode of penitents and to this true land of mourners, I actually saw (if it is not audacious to say so) what in most cases the eye of a careless person never saw, and what the ear of a slothful and easy-going person never heard, and what never entered the heart of a timid person—that is, I saw such deeds and words as can incline God to mercy; such activities and postures as speedily attract His love for men.

5. I saw some of those guilty yet guiltless men standing in the open air, all night till morning and never moving their feet, by force of nature pitifully dazed by sleep; yet they allowed themselves no rest, but reproached themselves, and drove away sleep with dishonours and insults.

6. Others lifted up their eyes to heaven, and with wailings and outcries, implored help from there.

7. Others stood in prayer with their hands tied behind their backs like criminals, their faces, darkened by sorrow, bent to the earth. They regarded themselves as unworthy to look up to heaven. Overwhelmed by the embarrassment of their thoughts and conscience they could not find anything to say or pray about to God, how or with what to begin their prayers. But as if filled with darkness and a blank despair, they offered to God nothing but a speechless soul and a voiceless mind.

8. Others sat on the ground in sackcloth and ashes, hiding their faces between their knees, and striking the earth with their foreheads.

9. Others were continually beating their breasts and recalling their past life and state of soul. Some of them watered the ground with their tears; others, incapable of tears, struck themselves. Some loudly lamented over their souls as over the dead, not having the strength to bear the anguish of their heart.

(...)

23. But when I had seen and heard all this among them, I nearly despaired of myself, seeing my own indifference and comparing it with their suffering. For what a place and habitation theirs was! All dark, reeking, filthy and squalid. It was rightly called the prison and house of convicts. The very sight of the place was sufficient to teach all penitence and mourning. But what is hard and intolerable for others becomes easy and acceptable for those who have fallen away from virtue and spiritual riches. For the soul that has lost its former confidence; that has lost hope of dispassion; that has broken the seal of chastity; that has allowed its treasury of gifts to be robbed; that has become a stranger to divine consolation; that has rejected the commandment of the Lord; that has extinguished the beautiful fire of spiritual tears, and is wounded and pierced with sorrow by the remembrance of this will not only undertake the above-mentioned labours with all readiness, but will even devoutly resolve to kill itself with works of penance, if only there is in it a remnant of a spark of love or fear of the Lord. Such, in truth, were these blessed men.

(...)

26. Having stayed for thirty days in the prison, impatient as I am, I returned to the great monastery and the great shepherd. And when he saw that I was quite changed and had not yet come to myself like a wise man he understood what this change meant and said: ‘Well, Father John, did you see the struggles of those who labour at their task?’ I replied: ‘I saw them, Father, and I was amazed; and I consider those fallen mourners more blessed than those who have not fallen and are not mourning over themselves; because as a result of their fall, they have risen by a sure resurrection.’ ‘That is certainly so,’ he said; and his truthful tongue related to me this story: ‘About ten years ago I had a brother here who was extremely zealous and active. And so, when I saw that he was so burning in spirit, I trembled for him lest the devil out of envy should trip his foot against a stone, as he sped along on his course as is apt to happen to those who walk swiftly. And that is just what happened. Late one evening he came to me, showed me the open wound, wanted plaster, asked for cauterization, and was very alarmed. Then, when he saw that the doctor did not wish to make too severe an incision (because he deserved sympathy), he flung himself on the ground, embraced my feet, moistened them with abundant tears, and asked to be shut in the prison which you saw. “It is impossible for me not to go there,” he cried. Finally— a rare and most unusual thing among the sick—he urged the doctor to change his kindness to sternness, and with all haste he went to the penitents and became their companion and fellow sufferer. The grief that springs from the love of God pierced his heart as with a sword and on the eighth day, he departed to the Lord, asking that he should not be given burial. But I brought him here, and buried him among the fathers, as he deserved, because after his week of slavery, on the eighth day he was released as a free man.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2015, 01:11:51 PM by Alexander »
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"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Jhanananda

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #21 on: June 24, 2015, 02:04:04 PM »
This reminds me the middle path, which is moderate, leads to fruition; whereas, too much asceticism may not lead to fruition.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2015, 06:16:31 PM by Jhanananda »
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Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #22 on: July 02, 2015, 06:09:50 PM »
I have been keeping a dream journal since April 6th. I have tried to keep dream journals in the past. Those failed because I would have a couple nights when I remembered my dreams, then a long sequence of nights when I remembered nothing. Usually after that I would stop.

This one seems to be my serious practice at it. I keep a record by sending myself an email with the date. Even with no dreams remembered I write "no memory" to keep it as a record.

I am trying to proceed in the dream world with the idea that it is a dimension of the spiritual world - just the lowest manifestation of it. I have also been keeping in mind the idea that I am interacting with other people in my dreams; and I've been thinking about when I've interacted (or not interacted) with people and when they might be asleep.

Many of my dreams, and the memories I have of them, are fragmentary - just images or impressions. But sometimes they will be more detailed. I remember only one impression from last night - attending a concert of a band - while yesterday I had nine different memories/impressions.

I try to write down if I remember things that were impossible. In the dream itself I never realize these. In one of yesterday's dreams I saw a woman swimming in a pool at night, then cross a road to her house when it was daytime. I was thinking about this in the dream - but I still did not become aware I was dreaming.

I seem to see different levels of my personality active depending on the dream. Some are like returns to childhood; being passive and going along with what's happening. Some are of my base or lower self; interested in women or sex. Some dreams seem to recycle impressions from the day. Others seem to be of my higher self. In these, what seem to be my most self-aware dreams, I feel in the dream that I am wearing some kind of disguise.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2015, 09:16:13 PM by Alexander »
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"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

jay.validus

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #23 on: July 03, 2015, 03:19:58 AM »
This sounds pretty awesome man.  Yeah, I remember having so many of these boring kind of dreams growing up, where you have no lucidity and it was only just fragments of reality pieced together.  It is awesome that many aspects of your personality are making appearances in your dreams.  This is such a wonderful experience because when we are awake and in a more rational state of mind, we tend not to give full importance to our underlying emotions and experiences.  Dreams are a great way to give our subconscious a chance to come to the forefront and have our attention.

Personally, I rarely keep a dream log.  I have dreamt every night since as long as I remember, it is just normal for me.  That said, when my dream experiences really touch me deeply, I tend to record them or I have written some of them on this forum.  I find I am quite lucid in my dreams, and they are more or less quite vivid.  There are times when this sky rockets through the roof, and what I thought was vivid before becomes something stronger than physical vision. 

I hope your dreams become something quite powerful and fulfilling in their own right! :)
Take care

Valdy

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2015, 05:15:18 AM »
Hello Alexander, about your dream log.

I started keeping a dream log about 35 years ago. Nothing much of interest happened for some time. I couldn't remember my dreams so I would have a dream say at 3:am and then throw myself out of bed and write it down. That certainly disrupted my sleep but I kept at it for some time.

After a while in some strange way it seemed as if my dreams started to notice me, that gave me an uneasy feeling and it still is happening. I presume that after decades of ignoring my intuitions they simply shut off and now they are coming back on again. I am dreaming right now by the way.

I think the study of one's own dreams is an important step in finding part of ourselves, also in getting out of so much logic and becoming more metaphorical. It helps to study symbols.

A person should also be careful that they do not become so mystified that they can't live their own life, it helps to get back here now and then and get a few things done.

After about 2 years of dream recording I was in a physical event that I was getting deja vu from and went home and found the event in my dream log, it had happened about 2 months earlier. I have my own ideas of what some dreams are about but I have never read about them or heard about them in the way I am thinking so am going to keep them to myself, suffice it to say that there is more to be learned about dreams and should not be written off as "just a dream".

I think this feeling of my dreams "noticing me" helped me to lucid dream latter on, I was a bit of a slow study at the start.

Bless Valdy

Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #25 on: July 03, 2015, 05:59:56 AM »
Thank you friends, I am inspired by your comments.
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Jhanananda

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #26 on: July 10, 2015, 06:57:04 PM »
I have been keeping a dream journal since April 6th. I have tried to keep dream journals in the past. Those failed because I would have a couple nights when I remembered my dreams, then a long sequence of nights when I remembered nothing. Usually after that I would stop.

This one seems to be my serious practice at it. I keep a record by sending myself an email with the date. Even with no dreams remembered I write "no memory" to keep it as a record...

I found recollecting my dreams took practice, and it had many ups and downs, but I found it to be a critical self-awareness tool.  Now, after more than 40 years, it is second nature.
There is no progress without discipline.

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Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #27 on: July 10, 2015, 11:32:37 PM »
Thank you, Jhanananda, I am always learning from your comments.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2015, 12:59:35 AM by Alexander »
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #28 on: July 22, 2015, 10:35:32 PM »
I have been struggling, the past few weeks, with self-awareness. I have been trying to become self-aware for almost 10 years now, so it's upsetting I still can't stay self-aware for the entire day.

In the morning I'll make the prescription to stay self-aware: to divide my attention between myself/my inner world and the outer world. Inevitably, though, I lose track of myself, and my attention goes from two-sided to one-sided, paying attention only to the outer world.

The causes of this seem to be the following: (1) Stress. If the body is in pain or if I'm doing something that's unpleasant, I try to escape from myself and take my awareness out of the situation. (2) Boredom. The long maintenance of self-awareness becomes draining when no fruits come. (3) Lack of energy. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a haze; I can't grasp what awareness is, or even if I'm making it present or not. (4) Complexity. Tasks that are too complex cause me to lose self-awareness. They require cognition instead of silence.

I am able to maintain my attention if I get rid of the external actions. So, perhaps I should self-simplify, and dedicate more time to actions that are simpler.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2015, 04:29:13 AM by Alexander »
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)

Alexander

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Re: Alexander's Blog
« Reply #29 on: July 22, 2015, 10:51:10 PM »
I have tried to stay self-aware during the day using the following approaches:

1. Watch the inner silence. Problem - lost when an action is complex and requires thinking/cognition.

2. Listen to the sound charism. Problem - if the location is too noisy it can't be done.

3. Keep an awareness of myself. Problem - lost or becomes uncertain if I feel hazy, or if I'm completing unpleasant or complex tasks.

4. Watch the breath. Problem - lost when an action is complex and requires thinking/cognition.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2015, 11:12:23 PM by Alexander »
https://alexanderlorincz.com/

"I saw all things gathered in one volume by love - what, in the universe, seemed separate, scattered." (Canto 33)