Hi all - an introduction.

[Zack]

Hi all – I have been to the Great Western Vehicle site in the past but it seems you can stare at something for a long time, years even, and it will only reveal itself when you are ready for it. So I vaguely remember passing through a few pages at one point or another, but now recently I've made it back and some of the articles and discussions there and on related sites like Michael Hawkins's blog and this forum are the most profoundly relevant info for me and I know this is where I need to be at the moment.

A little about my life, basically to articulate to myself if nothing else what I feel my renewed focus is: After massive amounts of internal wrangling, doubt, uncertainty, and confusion, and some very dark periods, I am coming through to a point of clarity, a point that was there all along but which I am reconnecting with. Discipline is something I am both good and not so good at, something I have been resistant to but deeply need. My intention is a renewed commitment to building a structure to my external life that will enable me to go deeper into the contemplative inner life, while letting go more fully so the events of my life just happen as they are going to happen. This structure is basically there to facilitate my physical survival in the world and includes ways to feed, cloth, and shelter myself, attend to my basic health and physical well-being, and make a small income to pay for whatever expenses inevitably will come up. This sounds simple but I think most would agree there a lot of obstacles in that path, just to get a little closer to this simple lifestyle. I have cycled through different options as far as living arrangements, from trying to buy a cheap run-down house in Pittsburgh (where prices, like much of the Rust Belt in the US, can be very low), to moving home to Virginia to build a tiny house on a flatbed trailer (which was sidelined by my inability to even save the small amount of money required to start that – an inability directly tied to the inability to function and tolerate this crazy world), to considering buying a cheap house in Detroit, where I have stayed before and found very peaceful. I'm leaning towards staying where I am, where I have the support structure of family, though it is not particularly cheap unless I find a more rural spot to rent.

Though I've always felt like a capable person, this basic capability to function has slowly been eroding. I have never enjoyed working – in fact it was misery from day one, when I turned 16 and became legally able to work, about 15 years ago – but it is something that is innate and in many ways totally natural to me. I don't have any problem with doing things, labor, action, etc, it is just the environments I am forced out of economic “necessity” to participate in, other people's intrusive energies (always helpful as mirrors for rooting out my own intrusive or otherwise negative tendencies, but still not particularly comfortable!), and the lack of any sense of meaningful purpose that bring me down and sap any sense of vitality of being. Being a cook, exactitude is not particularly important – if something is a little off, who cares, this person is going to eat it and go home and shit it into a pot and be hungry again – but I am now at the tail end of an EMT (emergency medical technician) certification, a job that involves much more stress and the need to be highly focused and effective. After being exposed to the profoundly dysfunctional medical system while logging hours at a hospital that is not a responsibility I'm feeling I want to take on. The conclusion is the same: I don't particularly want to be in these environments that are deeply set in the center of modern society and socially acceptable modes of thinking. To that end, I am starting a medical qigong course, which hopefully might facilitate a daily practice more in line with meditation and contemplation, and demand less of an intensely mental presence. Also, I have studied astrology for years and am continually trying to suss out how exactly I can help others with my limited, but evolving and developing, understanding of that.

I have not had a disciplined meditation practice of any notable length of time, though I have meditated off and on for years, but I have come to these conclusions and this place in life through years (at least the past decade) of intense contemplation, social isolation, and solitude, which has haphazardly brought me to a similar space. I'm now actively getting a meditation practice going, which is right now about twice a day for 20-40 minutes. I think the length of these sessions is hampered only by my awkwardness getting back into this.
I still get angry at times, along with plenty of other emotions and thought processes, but the space of love I feel progressively contained in is always there. As an example, I remember recently at work reacting to someone acting in a subtly manipulative (but nevertheless obvious, to me) manner by snapping at them verbally. It was a culmination of many weeks of this person acting this way, and something probably needed to be said or done, but the force behind my emotion in that instant made it come out all wrong. It was like my ego trying to elbow the love backwards to give itself some space to operate in, but within seconds (less than that, it was basically instantaneous) the sense of love came seeping back forward to permeate my awareness like water filling a sponge again. So while the anger lingered in some form for a few minutes more, there was no way for it to thrive. The internal mechanizations behind it were painfully obvious and it seemed totally pointless. It was kind of an ugly scene in a lot of respects and I was presented with a confusing situation where my own angry reaction was perpetuated in the external situation by dint of its being expressed at all, and also by being mirrored in this other person's ensuing reactions; that one angry reaction rippled outwards for days. Ultimately I felt surprisingly little self-judgment around my reaction (I did at first but let it go fairly easily), which is something I have struggled with in the past, and probably still struggle with more intensely in situations different from this one, but... it's just something that happened. One more event that needn't be worried and analyzed into perpetuation, just worked with for a short time and let go. Just an example to illustrate how curious and interesting it is to watch intensely emotional reactions operate within a space of a greater love, so while these emotional reactions continue to arise, they are met with and dissolved by a far greater presence. If I had to put it into words I would say I feel my sense of myself, my 'I', is caught somewhere between these two. Emotional responses (and those damned thought processes as well!) arise, and I don't feel like they are really me, and at the same time there is something “behind” that feeds and informs my reality. I don't feel like this is totally me yet, but it is Love.

I have had some experiences in the past year that are hard to explain (in past years too, but not as notably), and when I've attempted to it doesn't come out right, probably because it is hard to even remember a lot of it. Not having an intense or even regular meditation practice it's hard to say what caused these experiences, though I have been doing a lot of intensive shamanic healing work, both performed on me and through a class. The weirdness mostly centered around a several week period this past winter when I was having bizarre synchronous experiences and felt like my identity was being erased; there was a lot of accompanying fear, but also moments of strange beauty. For a brief period of time during a shift at work I felt like I was exerting no effort, I was simply watching myself carry out tasks, my body carrying on like a wind-up toy, though I eventually "came back into" myself. I mean my vantage point never changed and there wasn't a sense of separation, but there was the sense of 'lifting off from' and then 'landing back in.' I've had these periods of dissociation before. I could maybe describe these experiences better if I try to recall them, but I don't think they're especially important.

I will probably keep rambling if I let myself, but anyway, I am looking forward to seeing what a more disciplined and rigorous practice brings!

Zack

[Jhanananda]

Hi all – I have been to the Great Western Vehicle site in the past but it seems you can stare at something for a long time, years even, and it will only reveal itself when you are ready for it. So I vaguely remember passing through a few pages at one point or another, but now recently I've made it back and some of the articles and discussions there and on related sites like Michael Hawkins's blog and this forum are the most profoundly relevant info for me and I know this is where I need to be at the moment.

Welcome, Zack, adn thank-you for posting your introduction to us.  It sounds like you are going to be another good member here for us all to learn from.

A little about my life, basically to articulate to myself if nothing else what I feel my renewed focus is: After massive amounts of internal wrangling, doubt, uncertainty, and confusion, and some very dark periods, I am coming through to a point of clarity, a point that was there all along but which I am reconnecting with. Discipline is something I am both good and not so good at, something I have been resistant to but deeply need. My intention is a renewed commitment to building a structure to my external life that will enable me to go deeper into the contemplative inner life, while letting go more fully so the events of my life just happen as they are going to happen. This structure is basically there to facilitate my physical survival in the world and includes ways to feed, cloth, and shelter myself, attend to my basic health and physical well-being, and make a small income to pay for whatever expenses inevitably will come up. This sounds simple but I think most would agree there a lot of obstacles in that path, just to get a little closer to this simple lifestyle. I have cycled through different options as far as living arrangements, from trying to buy a cheap run-down house in Pittsburgh (where prices, like much of the Rust Belt in the US, can be very low), to moving home to Virginia to build a tiny house on a flatbed trailer (which was sidelined by my inability to even save the small amount of money required to start that – an inability directly tied to the inability to function and tolerate this crazy world), to considering buying a cheap house in Detroit, where I have stayed before and found very peaceful. I'm leaning towards staying where I am, where I have the support structure of family, though it is not particularly cheap unless I find a more rural spot to rent.

Each person prepares in their own way for leading a rigorous, disciplined, self-aware, contemplative life.  I prepared for decades by living simply, meditating daily, following discipline, and self-awareness, and learning to camp, and acquiring camping gear, and learning my environment, and learning hat I can eat from what nature provides.  These days learning where the free kitchens, food banks and free clinics are has helped me a great deal. It sounds like are making excellent progress.

Though I've always felt like a capable person, this basic capability to function has slowly been eroding. I have never enjoyed working – in fact it was misery from day one, when I turned 16 and became legally able to work, about 15 years ago – but it is something that is innate and in many ways totally natural to me. I don't have any problem with doing things, labor, action, etc, it is just the environments I am forced out of economic “necessity” to participate in, other people's intrusive energies (always helpful as mirrors for rooting out my own intrusive or otherwise negative tendencies, but still not particularly comfortable!), and the lack of any sense of meaningful purpose that bring me down and sap any sense of vitality of being. Being a cook, exactitude is not particularly important – if something is a little off, who cares, this person is going to eat it and go home and shit it into a pot and be hungry again – but I am now at the tail end of an EMT (emergency medical technician) certification, a job that involves much more stress and the need to be highly focused and effective. After being exposed to the profoundly dysfunctional medical system while logging hours at a hospital that is not a responsibility I'm feeling I want to take on. The conclusion is the same: I don't particularly want to be in these environments that are deeply set in the center of modern society and socially acceptable modes of thinking. To that end, I am starting a medical qigong course, which hopefully might facilitate a daily practice more in line with meditation and contemplation, and demand less of an intensely mental presence. Also, I have studied astrology for years and am continually trying to suss out how exactly I can help others with my limited, but evolving and developing, understanding of that.

The need for livelihood often times keeps us enmeshed in to completely dysfunctional social system.  Your ideas of offering services in astrology and natural healing can work.  I did similar work decades ago when I first set out.  I keep thinking that a group of GWV members are going to pull their resources together and develop a jhana-based healing practice, which is how I did my healing work decades ago.

I have not had a disciplined meditation practice of any notable length of time, though I have meditated off and on for years, but I have come to these conclusions and this place in life through years (at least the past decade) of intense contemplation, social isolation, and solitude, which has haphazardly brought me to a similar space. I'm now actively getting a meditation practice going, which is right now about twice a day for 20-40 minutes. I think the length of these sessions is hampered only by my awkwardness getting back into this.

It is good to find that you are developing a disciplined meditation practice.  That should be the base of any genuine self-inquiry.

I still get angry at times, along with plenty of other emotions and thought processes, but the space of love I feel progressively contained in is always there. As an example, I remember recently at work reacting to someone acting in a subtly manipulative (but nevertheless obvious, to me) manner by snapping at them verbally. It was a culmination of many weeks of this person acting this way, and something probably needed to be said or done, but the force behind my emotion in that instant made it come out all wrong. It was like my ego trying to elbow the love backwards to give itself some space to operate in, but within seconds (less than that, it was basically instantaneous) the sense of love came seeping back forward to permeate my awareness like water filling a sponge again. So while the anger lingered in some form for a few minutes more, there was no way for it to thrive. The internal mechanizations behind it were painfully obvious and it seemed totally pointless. It was kind of an ugly scene in a lot of respects and I was presented with a confusing situation where my own angry reaction was perpetuated in the external situation by dint of its being expressed at all, and also by being mirrored in this other person's ensuing reactions; that one angry reaction rippled outwards for days. Ultimately I felt surprisingly little self-judgment around my reaction (I did at first but let it go fairly easily), which is something I have struggled with in the past, and probably still struggle with more intensely in situations different from this one, but... it's just something that happened. One more event that needn't be worried and analyzed into perpetuation, just worked with for a short time and let go. Just an example to illustrate how curious and interesting it is to watch intensely emotional reactions operate within a space of a greater love, so while these emotional reactions continue to arise, they are met with and dissolved by a far greater presence. If I had to put it into words I would say I feel my sense of myself, my 'I', is caught somewhere between these two. Emotional responses (and those damned thought processes as well!) arise, and I don't feel like they are really me, and at the same time there is something “behind” that feeds and informs my reality. I don't feel like this is totally me yet, but it is Love.

Living in the insane world can make anyone completely stark raving mad; but it is the skilled and disciplined contemplative who reestablishes his/her equanimity as soon as possible, as you did.

I have had some experiences in the past year that are hard to explain (in past years too, but not as notably), and when I've attempted to it doesn't come out right, probably because it is hard to even remember a lot of it. Not having an intense or even regular meditation practice it's hard to say what caused these experiences, though I have been doing a lot of intensive shamanic healing work, both performed on me and through a class. The weirdness mostly centered around a several week period this past winter when I was having bizarre synchronous experiences and felt like my identity was being erased; there was a lot of accompanying fear, but also moments of strange beauty. For a brief period of time during a shift at work I felt like I was exerting no effort, I was simply watching myself carry out tasks, my body carrying on like a wind-up toy, though I eventually "came back into" myself. I mean my vantage point never changed and there wasn't a sense of separation, but there was the sense of 'lifting off from' and then 'landing back in.' I've had these periods of dissociation before. I could maybe describe these experiences better if I try to recall them, but I don't think they're especially important.

I will probably keep rambling if I let myself, but anyway, I am looking forward to seeing what a more disciplined and rigorous practice brings!

Zack

Dissociative states, as you described above, are common for skilled contemplatives.  We call them non-dual, and we strive for them.  In psychiatry they would diagnose us as having a dissociative personality disorder.  Keep coming back to share, because when we share the good and the bad of our inner journey, then we inspire others to take this fruitful path.

[Zack]

Thanks for the welcome, and thanks even more for this corner of the world you have established. I am taking time to continue to read through things and absorb, but I am sure I will share and engage more eventually.

[Jhanon]

Zack, when I first came to this forum I rambled and rambled. You can see huge posts I put down in the beginning. For those of us who have tremendously profound experiences yet no one to share and relate with; all that we contemplate and discover sort-of keeps piling up. Then we find a place like this, and we can't seem to type fast enough.

From my experience, it's quite normal to "ramble." The initial entry into the stream, in my observation and experience, is filled with joy, wonder and energy, like a 1-year old child discovering the world.

It seems there are two paths of maturity. The first is from adolescence to full-grown adult. But this is mostly physical in the sense that the physical body and identity are developing. For those who jump into the stream, the second maturing begins. Which in a lot of ways is the deconditioning of the first maturing.

I hope you'll read some of the meditative absorption guides and case histories, such as what I have below this post in my signature. This serves as motivation and understanding, so that meditative absorption can be rewarding, fulfilling, and engaged regularly.

[Zack]

Thanks. I have spent recent years, the past two especially, searching for help (of some vague, unknown to me sort) and trying the patience of a small handful of folks -- healers, astrologers, and such -- with my desperate inner turmoil. They all very graciously helped me in their own way, deeply in some cases, but I was left unfulfilled because in the end it depends on learning to *help yourself*, and I couldn't find an effective way to do that. I've always been very self-aware, painfully so, but this often just means being hyper-aware of things I really haven't been able to figure out how to let go.

I turned to meditation at times and had some wonderful and/or peaceful experiences with that, but was never sufficiently hooked enough to make it an entrenched practice in my life. Astrology has helped me become clear on a lot of my inner workings and shamanic healing has had a big hand in continually pushing me forward, opening me up more and more to deeper layers of energy, but I also haven't been able to really connect with shamanic practices in any lasting way; it has mainly functioned as a tool that comes in and out of my life when it's needed but hasn't felt like something I am really drawn to. I've often wished otherwise, as I feel a need for a solid, structured practice to enter my life to, well, hopefully not cling to, but at least center myself around.

As far as the first round of physical body and identity maturation, I don't think that went very well for me. I've always struggled having any idea "who I am," with my late teenage and then adult years moving from heavy drug and alcohol use and attempts to destroy myself (again in some sort of vague, undefined way), to sickness, to moving haphazardly around the country in search of 'something' - a community to be a part of, friends, a soul mate, a groundedness and sense of purpose to appear and make me feel like the solid human being organism I desperately wanted to be and didn't feel like I was, something - to sickness again, trauma via grasping attempts at romantic relationships while not really having any clue how to do the social dance that others seem to find easy, etc. In my moving around the country I have felt for years like a gentle earthquake rolling across an alien landscape knocking on people's doors, but no one answers because no one wants an earthquake in their living room.

I went through a repetitive cycle for a while of taking the bus or train to some strange city, buying a used book and some noodles and falling asleep in a park, finding a stupid job and a cheap room by the freeway, and spending my days either in a nearly empty room thinking in circles and feeling emotionally blocked, or wandering around on foot for miles and miles a day. Throughout this seemingly futile search for an identity my body has ebbed and flowed this way and that, so that I have progressively seen that less and less as any static foundation that can be trusted. My hand is smashed from punching things and then taking the cast off so I could work (and this week has been excruciatingly painful at times), I have lingering issues from several illnesses that made my body fluctuate in all sorts of weird ways, and have a problem with inflammation and tissue degeneration. Not to complain, it's just that all I've felt like is an amorphous blob that always shows up on time for work. But within that there was of course, and still is, a roving ego hunting for validation, that now has burned through most of its options without a whole lot of success.

At the end of a long (well, no, short, very short) train of failure and rejection I have found I love people and the world to an almost paralyzing degree. I went to a GED graduation for a family member recently and almost broke down crying in the audience. A few years ago walking down a busy city street staring at a businesswoman's ass in front of me and feeling a mix of desire and deep-seated, self-repressive consternation, reality seemed to subtly shift and give away a sense of intelligent orchestration, and the woman abruptly turned and starting walking 90 degrees to the right; my stare was replaced by a young girl walking towards me in the exact same space in which the woman was walking away from me, as she struggled and lurched down the sidewalk with a walker, her body deformed from some condition. My eyes bulged and the lust, desire, whatever you call it was replaced by the most debilitating feeling of love. I had to go sit somewhere and sob. I have now been a public crier for a while.

These past few years there was a heat applied to what feels like deep glaciers of emotion within my being, and I have now lost myself in a deep, rushing current of the most bittersweet feeling. There is no bliss and joy right now. I get there sometimes, but there are undercurrents and veins of doubt throughout. Maybe this contradicts what I said in my first message, who knows, I don't really remember. The answers seem to finally be sitting in front of me though, so if I can get over the utter fear and apprehension I feel about taking this further, and severing my most comfortable attachments, then maybe that will change.

Onwards!

Zack

[Jhanananda]

Hi Zack, you sound like you are in the hypersensitive phase between the 2nd and 3rd jhanas.  Just keep meditating, and get yourself established in the 3rd jhana, and things will get a lot better from there on.  You may wish to make yourself familiar with the whole section here on the Spiritual Crisis.

[Zack]

I have now lost myself in a deep, rushing current of the most bittersweet feeling.

I was getting too caught up in being 'writerly' and that came out wrong. It's a lot more like a stagnant pool. Flow to it would be nice.

Yes, I am in a hypersensitive phase. I am by nature an emotional person to a degree but lately it has gone beyond ridiculous. Then it settles back down, only to sweep me away again after some random provocation. Sometimes I'm just a little weepy, sometimes I feel like I am actually physically drowning. The hypersensitivity (sensitivity to the external environment in this instance) is also particularly apparent to me when I am around certain people, most notably my manager at work, whose simple presence makes me very uneasy. He positively emanates anxiety and tension - which I can feel in a palpable way - and is very uncomfortable with silence so is usually vying for inane mental engagement. I have to work often in a small space with him and once a few months ago almost vomited when he was standing too close to me and coming at me with his attack-mind. I wonder what he thinks of me since I seem to always be almost completely deaf, dumb, and mute in his presence; there is just no way for me to not retreat deep into a shell.

Meditation is assuaging some of my vague psychic fear. I have been waking at around 4am recently, so this morning after laying there for a bit sat up and starting to meditate. I don't think I was fully awake because this all seemed blurry and dreamy. I wasn't watching the time but sat for a while until I noticed my head hanging down and slumping towards my shoulder, which it had been doing for a moment before I realized. A few minutes later I came out of meditation because I think my body was just not in a comfortable position and so brought me back. I laid back down for a little while, half-conscious, then sat up again for another similar session. There is usually a pleasant settling feeling immediately when I start, which was there, then after a while I felt some random sensations and eventually a tingling 'dance' in my third eye area. This was probably at least a 40 minute session, which is what I have been averaging. Earlier tonight I meditated for a while and heard what I am guessing are the charismatic sounds, which for me was a ringing mixed with the sound of something "flapping in the wind." I also had a very particular sensation that I used to have as a child when I got sick, which I have tried my whole life to figure out how to describe and really don't know how to. This is all still a little hit or miss but I am beginning to realize this is simply what I am going to be doing, so better get used to it.

[Cal]

I have now lost myself in a deep, rushing current of the most bittersweet feeling.

I was getting too caught up in being 'writerly' and that came out wrong. It's a lot more like a stagnant pool. Flow to it would be nice.

Yes, I am in a hypersensitive phase. I am by nature an emotional person to a degree but lately it has gone beyond ridiculous. Then it settles back down, only to sweep me away again after some random provocation. Sometimes I'm just a little weepy, sometimes I feel like I am actually physically drowning. The hypersensitivity (sensitivity to the external environment in this instance) is also particularly apparent to me when I am around certain people, most notably my manager at work, whose simple presence makes me very uneasy. He positively emanates anxiety and tension - which I can feel in a palpable way - and is very uncomfortable with silence so is usually vying for inane mental engagement. I have to work often in a small space with him and once a few months ago almost vomited when he was standing too close to me and coming at me with his attack-mind. I wonder what he thinks of me since I seem to always be almost completely deaf, dumb, and mute in his presence; there is just no way for me to not retreat deep into a shell.

Hello Zack, welcome to the GWV.

I am very familiar with the scenario you describe above. As your practice deepens, this sense of empathy, might become more acute, and you may find yourself anticipating his actions. I found this to be helpful in navigating the emotional led people our society has created. To be blunt, they expect your own Identity to be as flagrant as their own.

Meditation is assuaging some of my vague psychic fear. I have been waking at around 4am recently, so this morning after laying there for a bit sat up and starting to meditate. I don't think I was fully awake because this all seemed blurry and dreamy. I wasn't watching the time but sat for a while until I noticed my head hanging down and slumping towards my shoulder, which it had been doing for a moment before I realized. A few minutes later I came out of meditation because I think my body was just not in a comfortable position and so brought me back. I laid back down for a little while, half-conscious, then sat up again for another similar session. There is usually a pleasant settling feeling immediately when I start, which was there, then after a while I felt some random sensations and eventually a tingling 'dance' in my third eye area. This was probably at least a 40 minute session, which is what I have been averaging. Earlier tonight I meditated for a while and heard what I am guessing are the charismatic sounds, which for me was a ringing mixed with the sound of something "flapping in the wind." I also had a very particular sensation that I used to have as a child when I got sick, which I have tried my whole life to figure out how to describe and really don't know how to. This is all still a little hit or miss but I am beginning to realize this is simply what I am going to be doing, so better get used to it.

Imagine for a moment, when you have this "dancing" on your forhead, that there is an energy base near the back of the belly button. Then imagine that you are able to build that energy and expel it up a path along your spine, out the third eye region. Then further this thought as if there is a wall in the third eye region, and do it again. Then enjoy the show that may just appear in the visual region of your closed eyelids.

There may just be a sensation that appears elsewhere, as well. Rest in this energy, make it your object of meditation, relinquish yourself to it, and you may just find that the world isnt as big as everyone else thinks it is. 

Oh, i almost forgot, the "ringing" this is also a great meditation object. Bring your awareness upon it, and scan you body for any "sensation". (I'd scan the feet first)

Welcome to the forum,
Cal

[Jhanananda]

Hello Zack, I had much the same response to anxiety-driven people as you have.  My solution was to retreat into the wilderness for a few years.  I am now less undermined by the insanity of the world, so I can function in some towns and cities.  I still retreat into the wilderness when I need to.

[Zack]

Thanks for the suggestions and the welcome, Cal. There are some details I think I left out but nothing very important. My head did feel like it was expanding outwards. Also, I have always been a very light sleeper so waking early is nothing new, but it's only recently that I've been using the time to meditate.

[Cal]

Thanks for the suggestions and the welcome, Cal. There are some details I think I left out but nothing very important. My head did feel like it was expanding outwards. Also, I have always been a very light sleeper so waking early is nothing new, but it's only recently that I've been using the time to meditate.

Yup, ive felt it as a "pinch". Like the tip of a small pin is pressing in the area, yet is not painful, but there has been pressure. It sounds to me that you are opening yourchakra point there in the third eye area. Explore it, it leads to good things =)

[Zack]

Along with the settling-in of my practice there has come some extremely vivid dreams lately, so I am beginning to try to journal these. I have kind of a sporadic history with dreaming, often going for long stretches without remembering many or any at all and at other times having intense ones. The rapid succession of recalled (to an extent) dreams lately tells me I should try to keep that momentum going.

[Jhanananda]

I found recording my dreams was a very significant aspect of my contemplative life.  So, I encourage, Zack, to work on recalling your dreams.  I found recording them helps to improve their recall.

[Jhanon]

I found recording my dreams was a very significant aspect of my contemplative life.  So, I encourage, Zack, to work on recalling your dreams.  I found recording them helps to improve their recall.

I second that.