Bodhimind's Blog

[Jhanananda]

The recent session was not as violent, but I felt the same distinct shift. A bright light grew inside my head as if it was a sun, and then the tingling spread extremely quickly. It was as if the sun was in my head, and my whole vision was brightened. It felt as if I could see without a torchlight if I opened my eyes. Very soon, I felt the same pressure I had against my chest in my previous session. However, I seem to be having difficulties with staying with the charisms at this point as I do tend to get distracted by the breath.

The pressure that you felt in your chest could be the opening of the heart chakra.

I guess I will have to work on that. I did manage to turn towards the loud whistling for a while and I felt as if space extended (or more of that I could not really perceive the limits of my body). I remember in the past that I had a sucking sensation towards the crown but this session did not have it, neither did I have a black void which is supposed to be the transitory phase. I guess it must be the breath distraction again.

The "sucking sensation towards the crown" that you reported could be the opening of the crown chakra.

I am still working on equanimity. I looked in the mirror today and realized there was something strange about my facial structure, as if there was some subtle change. I am not sure if the energies of my recent sessions had caused some change to my structure. Does it tend to do that?? I've heard it happened to some others, but it was often accompanied by great pain, but in my case I did not experience much.

I too experienced this change in my face.  Part of it is due to learning to relax at a deep level, relaxes the muscles all over the body, including the face, so that our expression tends to change.  Another aspect of the apparent change, I believe, comes from seeing our face raw, or without the habitual interpretation that we used to carry with us prior to taking up deep meditation.

I also realized that lately, I would be able to just "intent" something and suddenly things would shift into my odds. I've heard of the Princeton experiment where the mind can affect a random number generator (Global Consciousness Project), but sometimes, things seem to be extremely lucky for me. I can recognize a "bad wave of luck" and then turn it around just by being mindful of it and intending the opposite. I am not sure if this is a side-path or anything, I do not intend to indulge in it, but I just wanted to confirm this is not some delusion by verifying it.

I am happy for things improving for you.  Perhaps you will pick a winning lottery ticket; however, I do not happen to subscribe to the belief in any kind of such miracle; or otherwise those in history who developed deep meditation would all have been well liked, and would have acquired name, fame, power and wealth.  However, what we find is most of them were persecuted.

There is also this ability to "know" things. For example, I just seem to know how things work. It feels as if I logically deduced it, but I can tell that the logic I used seems to have come from... "nowhere"? It's a little strange.

Well, we call this intuitive, revelatory, insight.  Insight is a natural fruit of the attainment of deep meditation, but that does not mean that you will ever select a winning lottery ticket, or win at gambling.

[stugandolf]

Bodimind,  For best experiences in meditation let go, surrender, to the tingling...  Stu Varanasi, India

[bodhimind]

I too experienced this change in my face.  Part of it is due to learning to relax at a deep level, relaxes the muscles all over the body, including the face, so that our expression tends to change.  Another aspect of the apparent change, I believe, comes from seeing our face raw, or without the habitual interpretation that we used to carry with us prior to taking up deep meditation.

That makes sense. I am wondering... How do you hold the mouth up when you are relaxed? I sometimes find that my mandible drops and my mouth hangs open. Sometimes there is a lot of saliva that fills up. In my better sessions, my jaw stays up. I am wondering about the tension of the jaw muscles. I've tried sucking in the saliva to create a vacuum, but sometimes the jaw just drops due to the relaxed jaw muscles. It can be pretty distracting when saliva is dripping down lol.

or otherwise those in history who developed deep meditation would all have been well liked, and would have acquired name, fame, power and wealth.  However, what we find is most of them were persecuted.

Very true. I've decided not to explore it or interfere with the causality of things, and let nature take its course.

Well, we call this intuitive, revelatory, insight.  Insight is a natural fruit of the attainment of deep meditation, but that does not mean that you will ever select a winning lottery ticket, or win at gambling.

Oh! i always thought intuitive insight would be somewhat of a more impactful thing. Does it mean that even random inspirations can be part of this intuitive insight? Maybe Albert Einstein's dream of riding on a light beam? Is transcendental/supramundane insight much different from this?

*

I recently had a conversation with a few spiritually-interested people. They were talking about the paranormal and their experiences with them.

For example, one guy said that there were areas where if you stepped into a certain place, there was a very distinct shift in the air or atmosphere. There would be partying noises that were extremely loud before a tree, but the moment he walked past the tree, everything in that zone went dead silence. It did not make much sense because the loudness could not have been nullified by any silencing object. It was as if one walked into a sound proof room without a door. He then said that there was a strange chill in the air. One of his friends was able to see a hostile entity moving towards him.

I was wondering since you seem to have experience with so many entities. Why is it that some people are able to see these entities while others cannot even see them? Are the more sensitive people more "third-eye awakened" (if that means anything...)? What is your view on haunted places like this, where there are actually real experiences? I understand that in the subtle body, the senses become alive, but is it also possible that one is able to see these entities when in a physical body while others are not?

The reason for this is that I am sometimes afraid of having these experiences when I meditate. In my life, I must admit that I am "dull", where I have never really felt or seen any of these things. I am afraid that if I get into samadhi and awaken my third eye, I start to see these entities. I know they are "harmless" but the idea of it does freak me out quite a bit.

*

About my recent practices, I am bordering around third or fourth jhana. My charisms have also become intense. The moment i close my eyes, I am able to already be in the first or second jhana, where the whole body is tingling. I am still working on the fear of losing the breath, and I feel that it is not the breath - It might just be an excuse for me to cling onto my ego/self.

Bodimind,  For best experiences in meditation let go, surrender, to the tingling...  Stu Varanasi, India

Thank you for that. I do try to do that. Do you try to focus on the full-body tingling or just an aspect of it?

[Jhanananda]

That makes sense. I am wondering... How do you hold the mouth up when you are relaxed? I sometimes find that my mandible drops and my mouth hangs open. Sometimes there is a lot of saliva that fills up. In my better sessions, my jaw stays up. I am wondering about the tension of the jaw muscles. I've tried sucking in the saliva to create a vacuum, but sometimes the jaw just drops due to the relaxed jaw muscles. It can be pretty distracting when saliva is dripping down lol.

in the beginning a had a lot of trouble with tensions around the body, like the jaw muscle.  I found when I started practicing hatha yoga for several hours a day that I was able to transform my body, so that I could sit for long periods of time in meditation.

I too had the particular problem of jaw muscle tension, and the jaw wanting to flop open, then drooling took place, which is something that I found was a distraction.  So, I employed the slight vacuum that you mentioned.  I used the tongue as the vacuum device by planting it firmly in the roof of my mouth, then s I relaxed the tongue would start to fall, but a vacuum would form to hold it and my jaw in place, while I relaxed deeply into a deep meditation state.

Oh! i always thought intuitive insight would be somewhat of a more impactful thing. Does it mean that even random inspirations can be part of this intuitive insight? Maybe Albert Einstein's dream of riding on a light beam? Is transcendental/supramundane insight much different from this?

Yes, in my experience intuitive insight often happens as random inspirations.  Yes, I believe that Albert Einstein's dream of riding on a light beam is a classic example of possibly one or both of two things: intuitive insight; and/or an OOBE.

I recently had a conversation with a few spiritually-interested people. They were talking about the paranormal and their experiences with them.

For example, one guy said that there were areas where if you stepped into a certain place, there was a very distinct shift in the air or atmosphere. There would be partying noises that were extremely loud before a tree, but the moment he walked past the tree, everything in that zone went dead silence. It did not make much sense because the loudness could not have been nullified by any silencing object. It was as if one walked into a sound proof room without a door. He then said that there was a strange chill in the air. One of his friends was able to see a hostile entity moving towards him.

I was wondering since you seem to have experience with so many entities. Why is it that some people are able to see these entities while others cannot even see them? Are the more sensitive people more "third-eye awakened" (if that means anything...)? What is your view on haunted places like this, where there are actually real experiences? I understand that in the subtle body, the senses become alive, but is it also possible that one is able to see these entities when in a physical body while others are not?

The reason for this is that I am sometimes afraid of having these experiences when I meditate. In my life, I must admit that I am "dull", where I have never really felt or seen any of these things. I am afraid that if I get into samadhi and awaken my third eye, I start to see these entities. I know they are "harmless" but the idea of it does freak me out quite a bit.

We have discussed this on this forum from time to time.  What we find is those who find it easy to get to deep meditation also had a number of experiences with psychic phenomena prior to taking up a contemplative life.  I call these people "sensitives."  Sensitive are very often diagnosed as psychitzophrenic and heavily medicated in this culture.

However, I have lived in Sedona, AZ, USA for 2.5 years, and I have found that almost everyone you will meet here has seen UFOs and/or various psychic phenomena.  Now, it is possible that everyone here has had these experiences; however, what I have observed about the devout of every religion is they really want to witness a miracle, so they will all too easily misinterpret physical phenomena as miraculous. 

So, just because you meet people who claim that they have had experiences with various psychic phenomena, does not mean that they have.  First find out if the person in question meditates deeply, if so, then their claim might be genuine.  If not, then their claim is most probably wishful thinking.

About my recent practices, I am bordering around third or fourth jhana. My charisms have also become intense. The moment i close my eyes, I am able to already be in the first or second jhana, where the whole body is tingling. I am still working on the fear of losing the breath, and I feel that it is not the breath - It might just be an excuse for me to cling onto my ego/self.

The root of fear is ego clinging and identification.  As you develop deep meditation, your ego will begin to diminish and you will also develop familiarity with the terrain, as well as develop tranquility and equanimity, so that when you do encounter malevolent beings in the immaterial domains, then you will have no fear and you will know exactly how to deal with that demon.

[stugandolf]

Bodimind, If you take, or rather or rather are taken, on the kundalini express go up with it -  no choice really - my most recent ride was way out of time and probably space - during the ride which went through the top of head with at least one very bright light - it did not matter that my eyes were closed - nothing mattered.  Dreaming not dreaming beside the point.  Not sure why or how I left the state - the event clocked at about 2 plus hours.  I generally follow my intuition in these matters and this event was amazing...  Otherwise just go with whatever happens - I do not think I try to do anything everything just happens.  I realize I am vague but then...  Stu - Back in southwestern NM...

[bodhimind]

I too had the particular problem of jaw muscle tension, and the jaw wanting to flop open, then drooling took place, which is something that I found was a distraction.  So, I employed the slight vacuum that you mentioned.  I used the tongue as the vacuum device by planting it firmly in the roof of my mouth, then s I relaxed the tongue would start to fall, but a vacuum would form to hold it and my jaw in place, while I relaxed deeply into a deep meditation state.

Thank you for the advice, I tried it over the past sessions and found that I needed a balance between tension and relaxation to keep the jaw sealed with the vacuum. Would you recommend hatha yoga actually? Or just any form of exercise would do?

The root of fear is ego clinging and identification.  As you develop deep meditation, your ego will begin to diminish and you will also develop familiarity with the terrain, as well as develop tranquility and equanimity, so that when you do encounter malevolent beings in the immaterial domains, then you will have no fear and you will know exactly how to deal with that demon.

I am still struggling with this and I'm trying to increase my disidentification with the body, as a first step. I find that although I am concerned about the health of the body I am not completely attached to it in the way that I don't try to hold an expectation towards it. Is that the right way of looking at it?

Bodimind, If you take, or rather or rather are taken, on the kundalini express go up with it -  no choice really - my most recent ride was way out of time and probably space - during the ride which went through the top of head with at least one very bright light - it did not matter that my eyes were closed - nothing mattered.  Dreaming not dreaming beside the point.  Not sure why or how I left the state - the event clocked at about 2 plus hours.  I generally follow my intuition in these matters and this event was amazing...  Otherwise just go with whatever happens - I do not think I try to do anything everything just happens.  I realize I am vague but then...  Stu - Back in southwestern NM...

Thank you for the advice... Strangely, I haven't actually developed or accelerated in progress despite those experiences, I'm not exactly sure why that is so. Perhaps I need to increase my intensity in practice even more.

***

I recently went into a Buddhist university club which conducted dharma talks and I'm planning on using the resources provided to gain a conceptual mastery of the concepts within. Of course, I'll cross-reference them with the more accurate translations from gwv as well. Now I find that the principles of the Four Noble Truths can actually be applied quite universally, for example. I've never really saw it in that light, only just in terms of suffering -> cessation.

I know it's not about the concept, but the knowledge that you get from actual experience, but I'm sure that one should also study the suttas. Taking a more intensified studying routine of the Dharma in my case, hopefully it does help me in my practice itself.

I find huge delight in company that seek the dharma as well.

These days, I tend to have very, very pleasurable sensations happening randomly around my body. Such as a pleasurable orgasm-like feeling permeating my upper torso or mostly my head. This happens not when I sit down, but when I am walking around. Would it be correct to say that this is the physical aspect of joy/bliss in jhana? Or is it just a bodily reaction/change?

[Jhanananda]

Thank you for the advice, I tried it over the past sessions and found that I needed a balance between tension and relaxation to keep the jaw sealed with the vacuum. Would you recommend hatha yoga actually? Or just any form of exercise would do?

I found a daily hatha yoga practice helped me to transform my body into the necessary flexibility to sit for long periods of time in sitting meditation, which are needed for deep meditation.  I also found hatha yoga practice improved my health; however, I found no magic in the practice of hatha yoga.  It is just a system of stretches, which I found are good for the body.

I am still struggling with this and I'm trying to increase my disidentification with the body, as a first step. I find that although I am concerned about the health of the body I am not completely attached to it in the way that I don't try to hold an expectation towards it. Is that the right way of looking at it?

That seems like a healthy attitude for a contemplative to keep toward the body.  If we abuse the body, then it will no longer serve us as contemplatives.

Thank you for the advice... Strangely, I haven't actually developed or accelerated in progress despite those experiences, I'm not exactly sure why that is so. Perhaps I need to increase my intensity in practice even more.

Transformation just takes time and patience.

I recently went into a Buddhist university club which conducted dharma talks and I'm planning on using the resources provided to gain a conceptual mastery of the concepts within. Of course, I'll cross-reference them with the more accurate translations from gwv as well. Now I find that the principles of the Four Noble Truths can actually be applied quite universally, for example. I've never really saw it in that light, only just in terms of suffering -> cessation.

I agree that the four Noble Truths can all too easily be applied universally without having to be a Buddhist.  I find the same goes with the Noble EIghtfold Path.

I know it's not about the concept, but the knowledge that you get from actual experience, but I'm sure that one should also study the suttas. Taking a more intensified studying routine of the Dharma in my case, hopefully it does help me in my practice itself.

The study of the dhamma can only help you; because all religions tend to express biases that are not in alignment with the original doctrine.

I find huge delight in company that seek the dharma as well.

This is why the 3rd refuge is 'sangha' which just means the company of fellow seekers.

These days, I tend to have very, very pleasurable sensations happening randomly around my body. Such as a pleasurable orgasm-like feeling permeating my upper torso or mostly my head. This happens not when I sit down, but when I am walking around. Would it be correct to say that this is the physical aspect of joy/bliss in jhana? Or is it just a bodily reaction/change?

It is to be expected that when one cultivates the deep meditation states that the bliss, joy and ecstasy will permeate one's daily life.  This is the transformative quality of deep meditation.

[bodhimind]

I must thank Jhanananda and all the others on this forum for their repeated guidances.

---

Lately, I've been struggling to reconcile a few insights.

1) I understand that the physical body is not me. It is in a way, me, but it is not really. Am I right to be thinking that the body is a mere interface for contact for the sense organs? And that the simple act of Desire has brought me into this world, merging me with the sense-consciousnesses and hence experiencing this world? I can see how if everyone is part of this "I", but currently in my experience, I am "me", the Ego. However, why is it that the present (or "being") feeling is only here in my experience? Why do I not see through the eyes of another being? Is there an explanation for that?

2) I understand that the past is a memory and the future is a fantasy. However, although the past, future or even the present cannot be clung on to, there is this succinct clarity of being in the present which makes it the "now". It is like the "I am". I can see from here how the 'self' can be met with by rejecting things by investigation, but I feel as if there is some kind of barrier blocking me from being "I". I feel like I am this light shining down on mental objects and hence making them tangible - abstract, gross, discrete, etc.

3) Thirdly, I cannot understand sleep properly. For example, I know lucidity in sleep is just like being aware that you are dreaming. However, this is in REM-sleep/light sleep. How about deep sleep? Is it the case that you should still be aware that you are unconscious? Do you definitely visit immaterial realms in sleep? I feel like I have a huge ton of unattained insights regarding this.

4) I understand suffering to only exist as a background. It is a polarity of suffering and pleasure. It is because we seek sensual pleasure that suffering exists. Pleasure is always in a background of pain. As such, as we move through life, we swing back and forth in pleasure and pain. However, what I don't understand is this. Is it the case that the 'me' still suffers and has pleasure while the 'I' disidentifies from the 'me' and hence is free from the stream of pain/pleasure?

5) What I don't understand about this point is that the lack of experience is also still an experience. For example, when closing our eyes, we still see 'blackness'. How does one get rid of that polarity completely from the senses? It is sufficient to go into third jhana? Would this experience be void? Or do we simply leave them as a 'background'?

6) I understand that consciousness is only birthed from duality and that awareness is primary, original and non-dual. However, I keep thinking from the scientific point of view that awareness is the "focus ability" of the brain - such as the reticular activation system/mid-brain at work, which denotes the functioning of an organic brain. Or would it be a reverse of cause-and-effect, such that the brain reflects what the awareness is doing instead of causing it?

7) I cannot seem to understand how one proceeds towards enlightenment. It is a void which is also full. Time, does it exist within it? It seems not to. Which brings me to the confusion between awareness and consciousness. Time exists in consciousness, but awareness does not seem to. Would be that the "I" is simply awareness? Or is it even more?

How does one operate if you are sitting in the background of things? It would be as if your body is moving automatically and responding to that world according to the conditions and effects. That would be the 'me' and not the 'I' right? What would I need to do... just remain in the 'I' and not care about the 'me' anymore? It seems a little counterintuitive considering the fact that I have to make right decisions, speeches and thoughts as I live the eightfold path.

[Jhanananda]

I must thank Jhanananda and all the others on this forum for their repeated guidances.

---

Lately, I've been struggling to reconcile a few insights.

1) I understand that the physical body is not me. It is in a way, me, but it is not really. Am I right to be thinking that the body is a mere interface for contact for the sense organs? And that the simple act of Desire has brought me into this world, merging me with the sense-consciousnesses and hence experiencing this world? I can see how if everyone is part of this "I", but currently in my experience, I am "me", the Ego. However, why is it that the present (or "being") feeling is only here in my experience? Why do I not see through the eyes of another being? Is there an explanation for that?

St Francis used to refer to his body as the "donkey."  It is just a vehicle, a conveyance through this world.  In my experience we can see through the eyes of another in deep meditation.   We can even think with someone else' mind.  However, I would not recommend it, because people are crazy, so thinking with another's mind could be very crazy-making.

3) Thirdly, I cannot understand sleep properly. For example, I know lucidity in sleep is just like being aware that you are dreaming. However, this is in REM-sleep/light sleep. How about deep sleep? Is it the case that you should still be aware that you are unconscious? Do you definitely visit immaterial realms in sleep? I feel like I have a huge ton of unattained insights regarding this.

If one is unconscious in sleep, then one is not lucid. 

I have no EEG machine, and only one researcher tested me while meditating.  I was hooked up to an EEG and other monitoring devices by the sleep lab at the University of AZ back in the late 90s; however, I never received any results from either test, so I cannot respond authoritatively on this subject; however, since I have not noticed any gaps in consciousness for 40 years, then I am inclined to believe that I am aware regardless of how deep the sleep is.

4) I understand suffering to only exist as a background. It is a polarity of suffering and pleasure. It is because we seek sensual pleasure that suffering exists. Pleasure is always in a background of pain. As such, as we move through life, we swing back and forth in pleasure and pain. However, what I don't understand is this. Is it the case that the 'me' still suffers and has pleasure while the 'I' disidentifies from the 'me' and hence is free from the stream of pain/pleasure?

The four noble truths answers this.  As long as we crave our experience to be something other than it is, then we suffer.  If we accept life to be as it is, then we do not suffer.  However, we are discussing mental suffering, not physical pain.  We cannot avoid physical pain, but we can avoid the mental reaction to physical pain, by overcoming our habit of craving.

5) What I don't understand about this point is that the lack of experience is also still an experience. For example, when closing our eyes, we still see 'blackness'. How does one get rid of that polarity completely from the senses? It is sufficient to go into third jhana? Would this experience be void? Or do we simply leave them as a 'background'?

If we are successful in arriving at deep meditation, then we are not engaged in worldly interactions.  We leave the "polarity" swinging back and forth from pleasure to pain by maintaining equanimity.

6) I understand that consciousness is only birthed from duality and that awareness is primary, original and non-dual. However, I keep thinking from the scientific point of view that awareness is the "focus ability" of the brain - such as the reticular activation system/mid-brain at work, which denotes the functioning of an organic brain. Or would it be a reverse of cause-and-effect, such that the brain reflects what the awareness is doing instead of causing it?

The OOBE is proof that consciousness is non-local and not dependent upon a brain.

7) I cannot seem to understand how one proceeds towards enlightenment. It is a void which is also full. Time, does it exist within it? It seems not to. Which brings me to the confusion between awareness and consciousness. Time exists in consciousness, but awareness does not seem to. Would be that the "I" is simply awareness? Or is it even more?

How does one operate if you are sitting in the background of things? It would be as if your body is moving automatically and responding to that world according to the conditions and effects. That would be the 'me' and not the 'I' right? What would I need to do... just remain in the 'I' and not care about the 'me' anymore? It seems a little counterintuitive considering the fact that I have to make right decisions, speeches and thoughts as I live the eightfold path.

Enlightenment seems to be the most misunderstood subject of any religion.  Let us just say that Enlightenment is: freedom from craving, addiction, mental illness; unbroken awareness; and saturation in bliss, joy and ecstasy.  So, now you have a goal.

[bodhimind]

Here to update with things in my recent meditations.

These few times, I meditated without any kind of expectation of jhana whatsoever. I sat and simply went along with the charisms. Even when I got the feeling to stand up, I told myself to just continue on and see what could be there.

At a certain point of time, it felt as if I could stop my breath, so I did. Then the auditory charism went extremely loud, along with visual charisms (the whole room was extremely bright when I opened my eyes). However, i suddenly felt like I had some kind of blockage or tension in my chest and mostly my throat. It tensed my throat so much that I felt like I could not breathe properly. i explored it but it didn't seem to be any kind of muscular tension.

I at first wondered if it was my posture, so I made an effort to move the body in a way where I could spread open my chest and relax my front muscles so that pressure is not placed on them. However, it still felt as tense. It was by remaining in equanimity that the tension seemed to slowly dissipate, however, even after meditation, it seems to still be there.

Also, I experienced as if I was growing in size, enlarging and becoming much larger than my actual body size. I figured that it might have been my projected body, but I am not too sure.

Is it possible that my throat and heart chakra are still blocked? I do not know since this is about the first time that I've experienced these sensations. It felt as if something was pushing but was stuck. I experienced full body vigor as usual. I also experienced tingling bliss prior to that.

I thought I had overcome the fear with going on, but it seems that I still haven't too. I keep feeling as if I would lose myself or the ego, or whatever there is to lose, and it is stopping me from going forward because I am afraid that I no longer can function the way I do now. I do have worldly commitments (as you expressed it, debt being karma... ) and I could say that I have certain irrational fears about losing myself.

[Jhanananda]

Here to update with things in my recent meditations.

These few times, I meditated without any kind of expectation of jhana whatsoever. I sat and simply went along with the charisms. Even when I got the feeling to stand up, I told myself to just continue on and see what could be there.

At a certain point of time, it felt as if I could stop my breath, so I did. Then the auditory charism went extremely loud, along with visual charisms (the whole room was extremely bright when I opened my eyes).

This is how to practice deep meditation.  Very good work.

However, i suddenly felt like I had some kind of blockage or tension in my chest and mostly my throat. It tensed my throat so much that I felt like I could not breathe properly. i explored it but it didn't seem to be any kind of muscular tension.

I at first wondered if it was my posture, so I made an effort to move the body in a way where I could spread open my chest and relax my front muscles so that pressure is not placed on them. However, it still felt as tense. It was by remaining in equanimity that the tension seemed to slowly dissipate, however, even after meditation, it seems to still be there...

Is it possible that my throat and heart chakra are still blocked? I do not know since this is about the first time that I've experienced these sensations. It felt as if something was pushing but was stuck. I experienced full body vigor as usual. I also experienced tingling bliss prior to that.

I thought I had overcome the fear with going on, but it seems that I still haven't too. I keep feeling as if I would lose myself or the ego, or whatever there is to lose, and it is stopping me from going forward because I am afraid that I no longer can function the way I do now. I do have worldly commitments (as you expressed it, debt being karma... ) and I could say that I have certain irrational fears about losing myself.

For many years I too had a sensation around my throat as if I was being choked.  I kept thinking that it must be a recollection of a previous death, but the sensation went on for years.  Finally I was attending a 10 day meditation retreat and mentioned it to the retreat master.  He said he had had the same sensation for years, and had concluded, as I did, that it was some strangulation event in a previous lifetime.  It was then that I realized that the opening of the throat chakra must be this sensation, and as you, bodhimind, pointed out there is a subtle fear of death.  So, let go to the process.  Accept that it is the opening of the heart chakra, and realize it is about overcoming the fear of death.

Also, I experienced as if I was growing in size, enlarging and becoming much larger than my actual body size. I figured that it might have been my projected body, but I am not too sure.

This experience is described in the Yoga sutras.  It is one of the ways in which the 4th jhana is experienced.  Good work.

[bodhimind]

For many years I too had a sensation around my throat as if I was being choked.  I kept thinking that it must be a recollection of a previous death, but the sensation went on for years.  Finally I was attending a 10 day meditation retreat and mentioned it to the retreat master.  He said he had had the same sensation for years, and had concluded, as I did, that it was some strangulation event in a previous lifetime.  It was then that I realized that the opening of the throat chakra must be this sensation, and as you, bodhimind, pointed out there is a subtle fear of death.  So, let go to the process.  Accept that it is the opening of the heart chakra, and realize it is about overcoming the fear of death.

Also, I again catch myself having that thought of "What can I do?" I now realize that meditation is a rehabilitation of sorts and that the recovery is natural, but does this blocked throat thing disappear over time as one meditates? Or is there some form of insight one must reach?

Is it good for one to contemplate on the corpse, like in the Kayagatasati sutta to overcome this? I often feel that it is like an irrational fear of losing an identity maybe, forgetting my own name, losing my ability to interact in the world as I have always done, etc.

[Jhanananda]

Also, I again catch myself having that thought of "What can I do?" I now realize that meditation is a rehabilitation of sorts and that the recovery is natural,

Correct, "recovery" is natural, and leading a contemplative life (N8P) is the "rehabilitation" method.

but does this blocked throat thing disappear over time as one meditates? Or is there some form of insight one must reach?

If you spend some time investigating most of the nonsense that is presented on the topic of kundalini" you will find that most people are annoyed by the charisms and spend a great deal of time and money suppressing them.  Whereas, here we learn to savor them, take refuge in them, submit to them, surrender to them. 

So, how does one savor the sensation of strangulation, suffocation, and death?  Take it as a reminder that life in a physical body is short, and impermanent, and it never gets better, but only gets worse, and soon you will be released from this long misery.

Is it good for one to contemplate on the corpse, like in the Kayagatasati sutta to overcome this?

If contemplate on the corpse appeals to you, then do so.

I often feel that it is like an irrational fear of losing an identity maybe, forgetting my own name, losing my ability to interact in the world as I have always done, etc.

Yes, it is.  Instead we contemplative cultivate an awareness that life in a physical body is short, and impermanent, and it never gets better, but only gets worse, and soon you will be released from this long misery.

[bodhimind]

I have been engaging in practices such as pranayama, walking meditation, anapanasati and visualization practices. So far, I find that the pranayama has been helping me keep a very blissful sensation throughout the body. It feels very warm and blissful most of the time. I do not experience blockages in the throat and chest as much as I did the other time.

I find that these days, I tend to tell people about the dharma as much as I can. It feels joyous to do so and like a natural thing to do. It seems that when I do not put it into a context of "Buddhism", even Christians tend to accept the idea - I just need to talk from the perspective of Jesus. I've been putting it in a context of spirituality instead to pass what I have learnt.

I also decided to try and see what the local monastics thought of the practice, so I joined a meditation session with the university. I meditated and soon got in deep, when they ended the practice at one hour - So there was not much time to get in even deeper. I told the monastic about how my breath seemed to cease and that my whole body was becoming very warm and blissful. I asked her with the intention of comparing to see how similar the views are. She responded, saying that they were all illusions. She described the deep meditation state as something very "stable", where eventually you reach samadhi.

Should these charisms be seen as illusions then? I don't seem to think so. I feel that the more I turn my attention to them and let them do their thing, they tend to either sustain or grow even larger. The bliss takes over and grows through the various stages.

On my own practice, I feel like my leg tends to become quite numb because I sit with my left leg over my right leg and it can shut off the circulation. I was wondering if it was better to go with Burmese style. I cannot seem to do lotus or half-lotus. I heard that it is not required, but it does help in preventing leakage of "energy".

Also, I've been thinking of trying lying down meditation - However, it scares me that I might leave the body. I feel fear with respect to it. Also, I feel like in the darkness of the night, it seems to be quite scary in the sense that I might meet beings that I do not see with my flesh eye.

[Jhanananda]

I have been engaging in practices such as pranayama, walking meditation, anapanasati and visualization practices. So far, I find that the pranayama has been helping me keep a very blissful sensation throughout the body. It feels very warm and blissful most of the time. I do not experience blockages in the throat and chest as much as I did the other time.

I find that these days, I tend to tell people about the dharma as much as I can. It feels joyous to do so and like a natural thing to do. It seems that when I do not put it into a context of "Buddhism", even Christians tend to accept the idea - I just need to talk from the perspective of Jesus. I've been putting it in a context of spirituality instead to pass what I have learnt.

This sounds good.  Just follow what works for you.

I also decided to try and see what the local monastics thought of the practice, so I joined a meditation session with the university. I meditated and soon got in deep, when they ended the practice at one hour - So there was not much time to get in even deeper. I told the monastic about how my breath seemed to cease and that my whole body was becoming very warm and blissful. I asked her with the intention of comparing to see how similar the views are. She responded, saying that they were all illusions. She described the deep meditation state as something very "stable", where eventually you reach samadhi.

Should these charisms be seen as illusions then? I don't seem to think so. I feel that the more I turn my attention to them and let them do their thing, they tend to either sustain or grow even larger. The bliss takes over and grows through the various stages.

Well, you are beginning to realize that just because someone is a monk, or nun, does not mean they understand or value deep meditation.

On my own practice, I feel like my leg tends to become quite numb because I sit with my left leg over my right leg and it can shut off the circulation. I was wondering if it was better to go with Burmese style. I cannot seem to do lotus or half-lotus. I heard that it is not required, but it does help in preventing leakage of "energy".

About 40 years ago I found "Burmese style" works best for me.  I still sit that way.

Also, I've been thinking of trying lying down meditation - However, it scares me that I might leave the body. I feel fear with respect to it. Also, I feel like in the darkness of the night, it seems to be quite scary in the sense that I might meet beings that I do not see with my flesh eye.

It is understandable that the OOBE might be frightening to some people, because this is precisely what we experience at death.  So, the OOBE is too much like death.  When we overcome attachment to the body, then we find the OOBE more interesting and fulfilling.