Is life just a passing memory? Past lives are just another memory, so will this life. They're all just the same things happening again and again. I don't understand why we have to go through the same thing again and again.
I nowadays simply seek solace in the blissfulness of spirit. It fills with me with huge calm. The outside world is like a stormy ocean, but my inner self struggles to keep still like a submarine fighting its currents.
Nowadays, I am no longer motivated by the vice of lust - I see no point in it and would much rather dwell in the bliss of the jhanas, however, my partner tends to want it, and I do it out of compassion. I feel like it takes out a chunk of me and makes me feel 'heavy'.
I am tired of all the dividing out there. My identity, my pride, my rights, my equality, my this, my that... My god, it feels like a mad-house out there, with everyone trying to grab more "identity" for themselves. These days you can see all kinds of pride parades going around - homosexual rights, ginger rights, women's rights, etc. What foolishness. Can't they see that the more they exclude, the more they exacerbate the problem? If only they could just turn inwards into themselves and find spirit within, what a better world this would be. It's starting to feel like wishful thinking, because a huge chunk of them can't even understand what it means to still the monkey-mind for a bit.
I love nature a lot. If I could, I could sit out there in a mountain for ages without going back into "civilization". I would rather have the company of the wild animals than wild humans.
It hurts me when I see how modern civilization destroys nature and the Earth. Countries building dams that destroy eco-systems, even global-warming itself causing worldwide issues for all the poor beings, etc. And all humans care about is just "my this, my that". And to rise against their ideologies only bring problems, because there are so many of them, and only one of you. You get ostracized for being an "abnormality", simply because you see the world differently from them.
Well, if this life is just a dream, sometimes I wonder if I care too much about something that I'd only see for a few more years. Should I care about the contents of an illusion?