I am here to ask if anyone feels a sense of purpose outside of this contemplative life?
The further I go, the more alienated I feel.
One of the hard decisions I made for myself, which some might disagree with here, was wanting to embrace a contemplative life while fully embracing my sense of self, family, friends, livelihood, hobbies, and desires. I was at my third meditation retreat, and I was in the beginnings of a severe mental breakdown (which I didn't see at the time), and I had a realization,
I am not a diving being, I am a human being. I didn't know what it meant, but I didn't have any sense of meaning in my life. I let everything go thinking its what I had to do to be 'happy'.
To answer your question, yes I feel a sense of purpose outside my contemplative life. I am not a monk and I don't want to be one. The rules for a monk are different than for someone like who is not a monk. Monk's need to let go of worldly attachment as part of their lifestyle and belief structure. That doesn't make their enlightenment or salvation any better or worse than someone who is not a monk. Monks *can* (not always) reach the goal of salvation faster, but they also have fewer distractions.
Personally, I like the challenge of retaining my sense of self while leading a contemplative life. It's a dance that's more natural to me, rather than letting go of the 'ego' to fall into misery. Of course, my growth in the contemplative life will be slower in some ways because I simply won't have the time to live in a monastery or the wilderness. But, that's my choice. It has brought new layers of meaning to contemplation, meditation, and prayer to me I didn't realize before. It has deepened my psyche. I have said it before on this forum, my main religion is probably philosophy.
