Jhanon's Meditation and Mystical Experience Records

[Jhanananda]

Thanks for the guidance, mast-uh. Oh, I wrote another piece for my Philosophy class. This one is about life after death, and I delved deeper into my personal experiences with mediation to write it. Let me know if you'd like to read it, as it will help me ensure I am representing us accurately.

You could always post it here for all to read, and comment upon.

[Jhanon]

Mmmmmm, maybe. I'm unsure. For now, I just want to update my meditation records.

Meditation Time: 6pm
Length: 1hr 20mins
Mindset: Relatively Relaxed

Okay, so, I've been trying to "get back on the horse" for the last week or two. Today was perhaps the most successful meditation since doing so. It wasn't particularly busy in the charism department like other recent meditations, but it was one of those long lesson kind of meditations.

Throughout the session, I found myself remembering to and practicing the observe/reason/correct/sustain motions of meditation. In other words, the lessons I learned in the first burst of samadhi I had about a year ago came back, and I re-learned them.

It started off usual enough. From the moment I set myself in position, I began to feel the tingling in my hands/wrists and legs/feet that I identify as tactile charism, subtle body, immaterial body, or whatever you like to call it. Progress was slow, steady, and at the usual rate of absorption mechanics.

Unfortunately, due to the traffic of where I live, only the tactile charism was most defined throughout, as the rest of the sense-charisms I usually experience (audio and visual) were occasionally intruded on. For the first 1/5th or so, the mind was just following the breath and tactile charism as it slowly built strength. I remembered to let go while maintaining a balanced "grip" of attention on the legs and hands while allowing room for it to spread into the rest of the body.

The second 1/5th brought on much stronger charism that spread further up the legs to the knees, and up the hands to the shoulders. The mind was calmer, but still very actively reasoning and striving to get deeper. I caught this, and attempted to rest the mind more subtly on the charisms, letting go, and grip. It was around this time that I felt mild pain in my stomach, as well as subtle energies flowing about. I know that this area is one which has received a lot of abuse, and at first I tried to direct healing energy into it. Realizing this went against the general mechanics of absorption, I eventually just watched it while remaining unattached.

The third 1/5th was marked by an observation and memory that one has to "have fun" or "gladden" the mind with the process of absorption. It was a mixture of remembering psychedelic philosophy and discourses of the Buddha. Once this was engaged, things began to flow much smoother. There wasn't so much effort as it was more natural. When you're "having fun" or allowing yourself to be glad, the mind appears to automatically let go and absorb in what it is that is the object of its joy. Realizing and beginning to remember how meditation was supposed to work was a milestone.

The fourth 1/5th was marked by many still, yet seemingly timeless and also brief moments followed by shockwaves of intensified and spread tactile charism which corresponded with deeper levels of sustained mental undefinedness. Sometimes a sound disturbance from outside would infringe, but I would just let it be--and for some reason, this would also send shockwaves of intensifying and deepening absorption. I find this very interesting. I have noted in the past that deeper stages, in my experience, are preceded by these "timeless", seemingly unknowable moments of detachment. Almost like one is letting go of a ladder, then realizing the sensation of falling, one grasps at the nearest rung. But I've never observed this kind of mechanic in relation to physical phenomena. There was also a perception as if I was floating just above my physical body. Around this time, I also began to notice that my feet were very cold (which isn't unusual for this depth.) This stage had a really strong and full tactile charism experience.

The final part felt much lighter. There was still the full body tactile charism, but it was very, very light. Almost airy feeling, but certainly not absent. I couldn't call to mind any 4th jhana experiences where there wasn't lots of various charisms, but without thinking, it appeared to be 4th jhana. Maybe I actually was just naturally falling out of absorption, but mentally, it didn't feel like it. Things were just still and light, that's all. Visually, things were bright, especially for the dark room I was in. I then had the thought "okay, all done." And within a brief amount of time, or at least seemingly, the phone buzzed and I took it as confirmation that my session was over. I remember that 4th jhana is often felt as one can just stay there and meditate forever. I don't remember this being that way, although it was more refined and calm than the previous stages.

Overall, I think it was as good as I could expect. However, I very much wished I could experience something more exhilarating like 5th samadhi,

[Jhanananda]

The fourth 1/5th was marked by many still, yet seemingly timeless and also brief moments followed by shockwaves of intensified and spread tactile charism which corresponded with deeper levels of sustained mental undefinedness. Sometimes a sound disturbance from outside would infringe, but I would just let it be--and for some reason, this would also send shockwaves of intensifying and deepening absorption. I find this very interesting. I have noted in the past that deeper stages, in my experience, are preceded by these "timeless", seemingly unknowable moments of detachment. Almost like one is letting go of a ladder, then realizing the sensation of falling, one grasps at the nearest rung. But I've never observed this kind of mechanic in relation to physical phenomena. There was also a perception as if I was floating just above my physical body. Around this time, I also began to notice that my feet were very cold (which isn't unusual for this depth.) This stage had a really strong and full tactile charism experience.

The accentuated presence of charisms, shock waves, the timelessness, and the floating sensation, as well as a loss of sense of self, are characteristics of the 4th stage of the religious experience.  Good work, keep it up.

[Jhanon]

I think that last session I only dipped into 4th jhana a couple times, because this last meditation was far more stable and I was able to observe it carefully. It was actually satisfying. I really enjoyed it.

I paid less attention to charisms this time. Instead, I found myself interested in mind qualities and observing mechanics. I had a few "rushes", where it felt like I was going "bye-bye", but unfortunately the little inner fear mongrel took action before I could stop it==much to my disappointment.

However, I did eventually find myself in what very much appeared to be 4th jhana. What sticks out in memory is a feeling of contentedness. Everything was cool. There was no reason to move physically or mentally. I did, from time to time, simply because I'm curious. I observed a mild physical pain in my shoulder, possibly due to my posture. Normally I would have re-adjusted myself. But during those moments, there was no need to. it's hard to explain. The pain was there, but it wasn't painful. Uhhhh, it didn't bother me.

I remember that the Buddha said 4th jhana was "FREEDOM from pleasure and pain", and so I thought "maybe it is 4th jhana after all". This time I definitely felt like I was floating for an extended period of time. It really was lovely. I had some visual charisms here and there, but not much. Something very, very interesting was that my mind recalled the Buddha while in 4th jhana "directed his mind to knowledge of past lives." The mind instantly went to work on that.

I went through some memories I had forgotten. Each time was far more vivid that my waking memory. Once or twice in waking life, I would recall these more recent memories throughout regular life. But these memories were far more vivid and detailed. It felt like I had access to greater depth. And then something interesting happened. I visited my first home. I saw the living room, again, in more detail than any past memory of it.

Then it changed to heading down the hallway, and into the room on the left. I intuitively knew it was an earlier time than the last vision, and this was the nursery room. I floated around there for a little bit. But all that seemed to be in there was a crib with blue blankets or something. Which seems strange, but my parents WERE pretty poor when I was younger--so it's not unlikely.

Occasionally throughout this last stage of my meditation session, i would observe a pleasant kind of sinking or massaging quality in my left foot. But it wasn't my physical foot. I was absolutely certain of that. But, it felt like my foot kept sinking or something. I don't know how to explain it. It was like my foot was disappearing slowly.

I observed the key to getting deeper was to simply rest the mind on the most stimulating non-physical phenomena available. This was, again, almost always the tactile charism (strong tingling and fullness) in the hands, or the entire body (toward the end.)

Well, I have schoolwork to do. That seems like the more important points, although there was other content. I don't know if one can remote view from 4th jhana. I figured "remote viewing" was a quality of OOBE. But, for a few moments, I was indicating who I wanted to see, and then getting flashes of them. Unfortunately, I can't be sure if these were merely memories or not.

[Jhanon]

Confirmed the remote viewing. I can hardly believe it. I never thought I would. But the chances of it not being genuine are like 1,000 to 1. That's insane. Is that to mean I can establish myself in 4th jhana and see whoever or whatever I want??

[Jhanananda]

...I had a few "rushes", where it felt like I was going "bye-bye", but unfortunately the little inner fear mongrel took action before I could stop it==much to my disappointment.

It is hard not to have fear when we encounter profound religious experiences, especially when our religious/meditation teachers breed fear about them.  One can only keep coming back over and over again, until the inner terrain of the religious experience becomes so familiar that we no longer react to it, and learn to submit to its process more and more.

I observed the key to getting deeper was to simply rest the mind on the most stimulating non-physical phenomena available. This was, again, almost always the tactile charism (strong tingling and fullness) in the hands, or the entire body (toward the end.)

This is good observation, but eventually you will find it works best to hold all of the charisms in your awareness as a single multi-channel charism.

However, I did eventually find myself in what very much appeared to be 4th jhana. What sticks out in memory is a feeling of contentedness. Everything was cool. There was no reason to move physically or mentally. I did, from time to time, simply because I'm curious. I observed a mild physical pain in my shoulder, possibly due to my posture. Normally I would have re-adjusted myself. But during those moments, there was no need to. it's hard to explain. The pain was there, but it wasn't painful. Uhhhh, it didn't bother me.

I remember that the Buddha said 4th jhana was "FREEDOM from pleasure and pain", and so I thought "maybe it is 4th jhana after all". This time I definitely felt like I was floating for an extended period of time. It really was lovely. I had some visual charisms here and there, but not much. Something very, very interesting was that my mind recalled the Buddha while in 4th jhana "directed his mind to knowledge of past lives." The mind instantly went to work on that...

...I don't know if one can remote view from 4th jhana. I figured "remote viewing" was a quality of OOBE. But, for a few moments, I was indicating who I wanted to see, and then getting flashes of them. Unfortunately, I can't be sure if these were merely memories or not.

Confirmed the remote viewing. I can hardly believe it. I never thought I would. But the chances of it not being genuine are like 1,000 to 1. That's insane. Is that to mean I can establish myself in 4th jhana and see whoever or whatever I want??

Remote viewing is a distinct capability here as you have discovered.  It could become quite a distraction, so I have not emphasized it much.  I took several levels of training from Silva Mind Control way back in the 70s.  They essentially taught students to meditate to roughly the depth of the 2nd jhana, then apply that depth to remote viewing and healing.  They never went beyond that, but I did.

Remote viewing at the depth of the 4 stage of the religious experience is not an OOBE, but the OOBE is the next closest state, and Remote viewing at the depth of the 4 stage of the religious experience can lead to an OOBE.

[Jhanon]

Some interesting points. Firstly, it sounds like the fear does eventually erode? I've always had strong fear and anxiety. For most of my life I startled easily, and would turn on every light on my way to the bathroom late at night.

Regarding the single, multi-channel charism, I had a mundane insight during meditation just now. It was about 90 minutes in length, and was more of a thrill than usual, very much reminding me of my first significant experiences. Which is of note, as I was re-visiting the approaches I used to some measure of success back in the beginning.

I realized that the most successful approach I used other than charism absorption, was remaining aware of as many of the ordinary mundane sensations as I could. All day, I would endeavor to be aware of as much as possible at the same time. And this did indeed lead to many, successive, and very strong experiences. You may recall I often claim that my recent experiences aren't as thrilling. And as far as I can tell, it is true.

It seems I learned how to consistently access samadhi with the latest approach of absorbing into a limited charism field, like the tingling in my hands. But, my most thrilling and significant experiences happened when I repeatedly attempted to encompass as many sensations as possible within awareness. The trick is being able to let go and relax while actively adding sensations. I think this is considerable progress, even though it is a merely a deeper learned information I already have had supplied by you and my previous experience.

I'm excited, and have re-realized that I need to assess and observe during meditative absorption, even though I am attempting to let go. So far, it seems accessing a greater depth and immersion are largely based on mundane insights like I mentioned earlier.

I find remote viewing interesting, but not enthralling. Thank you for all the information, as always.

[Jhanon]

The last two nights I've remembered my dreams vividly, without any effort--because they were vivid in experience. This is significant, as I admit I don't often remember my dreams, lately--for a variety of likely causes.

But, there was the one I had two nights ago. And, I hadn't talked to anyone about it specifically, but I did write about it generally and my pronounced fondness for it. Most of my dreams are dreadful, and it just became too much for me after so many months of it, and began to have aversion to them, which I believe led to unconscious blocking of the memories of subsequent dreams.

When I finally discussed this recent dream just now with my partner, it began to hit me how important it was, and I began to cry. That same, powerful crying that happens whenever I experience significant spiritual release. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it when I woke, and so i didn't commit much to memory (the way my brain/mind works, I have a fairly poor memory--but I am improving it.)

I remember a tall, slender, radiant woman. The closest I could relate it to common experience is the first scene with Lady Galadriel from the Lord of the Rings movies, where she is radiant and elegant. The hair was longer, and much fuller, but blonde and slightly curled as hers. It was luminous.

All that happened that I can remember, was this:

Both of us standing, she looked at me lovingly yet with a very confident and powerful feeling I felt from her. There was an understanding without speech. We embraced, and I sobbed. All the pain. The pain of living. It wasn't pity for myself, at least it doesn't feel that way. It was just; life. Human life. It felt extraordinary. Absolutely extraordinary. Then I woke up and felt very light and happy, to the point which I've regained some of the more "fun" qualities of me, like wit--which is something I've not experienced for quite some years.

This afterglow has continued to today. I am incredibly grateful for the grace(?) of that experience.

[Sam Lim]

My opinion is, is that you've met your spiritual guide. 

[Jhanon]

Are there spiritual guides? I've heard of them often, but I've never seen that supposition addressed here. Do you have one? Can you tell me about it?

[Sam Lim]

A little bit about my history. My grandmother died when I was about 8 or 9 years old. My childhood was one of abuse . Generally not one day goes on without a beating.

When I had my awakening and after about three months of meditation and qigong, I had a dream. I met my grandma and she transmitted to me that she was here to protect me. I cried. I told her that I can take care of myself now. From that day onwards I've never dreamed of her.  Mind you, I was a hard person then due to all those years of conditioning myself. Tears are unheard of. I am now 54 years old.

[Jhanananda]

The woman in your dream could be seen as a spiritual guide, or as the Holy Mother, or Quan Yin, or so very many other ways to interpret the kinds of powerful beings we begin to meet in your lucid dream-time.

[Jhanon]

I found this last session to be good progress. I felt more comfortable and not as helpless as usual. Interestingly, there was another female being with blond hair. The vision was very pink/bright, and I was able to observe what was in the background. It appeared I was in some kind of library.

The female was, as usual, stunningly beautiful. I was in third jhana, and suddenly she appeared. There didn't appear to be any charismatic activity associated with it--it was merely visual or mind's eye? I don't know. And, I honestly cannot tell if this was self-sculpted or not. It was very difficult to tell, and I lost the vision a few times, but was able to seemingly return to earlier parts in it. However, as I do not know the mechanics of these things yet, I don't know if it was "mind made" or genuine.

She was tall, slender, and I was comfortable. It wasn't profound, but it wasn't lackluster. She had radiant golden hair that I think women would call in the cut of an "a line" or something like that? It was short, parted down the middle, and ever so slightly longer than the length of her chin--getting slightly shorter as the hairline wrapped around the back of the head. The front-facing hair (when she was looking directly at me) was dark. Like dark highlights, but very dark.

Eyes were beautiful and bright. And face was symmetrical perfection with flawless shape. I don't know why I see females so often. Anyway, it felt like she was waiting for me to "get my bearings." I felt like a child, first learning to use their body and understand the world around them.

She signaled to me, turned, and I followed her through a door way. As she went through the doorway, everything but her went black, and she progressively became light and shrunk down to a floating golden orb. At that point, I lost the vision, and seemingly re-visited it to observe details of it.

The session attempted to move past third jhana, and my hands and feet were already sweating in background awareness, and I said "no. I want to stay here." It wasn't that I loved where I was at that point, I just wanted to become familiar with that stage of jhana so that I wouldn't be so fearful next time.

I took time to explore it. There was no need to sustain it, and the mind was certainly malleable. I attempted to visit a friend remotely, and then her family--who were in the house.

The session then began to slow and I lost interest in the intensity of the tactile bliss. It was just too much, and I was tired of feeling some of my physical body in the background. It was beginning to produce unpleasant sensations. I attempted to absorb further, but the session kept "shutting down." Then it began to rev back up for a moment, but it seemed i was "done" as I opened my eyes and let it subside.

[Jhanon]

I can't freaking believe this. I messaged my friend right after my meditation and asked her what she was wearing, what she was doing, etc. I made sure to make careful note of those things while I was viewing her.

With the exception of a shade of the shorts she was wearing (dark blue, not light blue), I got it right. An interesting thing happened though when I tried to "populate" her face during the view. I first saw an old man with glasses and a wide jaw which dominated the entire viewing. And then her face came into view. Before I told her this, she told me she was listening to this guy I probably shouldn't mention, but the point is that it was his face I saw first. Since I couldn't hear during the view, would relevant audio data be visually populated like that?

Don't worry. I'm not getting wrapped up in this. But it has gone a long way toward my enthusiasm growing for samadhi in general.

[Jhanon]

And, very interesting responses from you both. I'll have to keep it in mind. I personally would like to interact with the lucid dream female being again. Hopefully when I need to release again.