Cal's Meditation and Mystical Experience Records

[Jhanananda]

Yea, some of my dreams have definitely been those of an unsettling sort. For a time, they really impacted me. A friend of ours brought up a good point once, that there are signs pointing to the correct direction all around us.

I will agree with this.  We just need to be self-aware enough to recognize the wisdom when it comes our way.  We get there by meditating deeply on a consistent basis.

I went camping a few weeks ago to one of my favorite camping spots. This is a place secluded, way off the beaten path, on the bank of the Snake river. When pulling into the camp area, I noticed a young owl, trapped in some fishing line, hanging about 15ft in the air from a tree branch. I cant say how long the owl had been there. The odd thing about it, is it had that same "feeling" to it, something made me take notice of it. I freed the owl from the fishing line, and it flew away. The things that were most apparent with the owl, is it never broke eye contact with me, I felt as though, when I absorbed, I could comfort, and even communicate with the owl.

I am glad you rescued the owl, and the experience paid you back 10-fold.

That same friend pointed out that the owl is a pretty symbolic of wisdom, and that I should take message. "Wisdom is bound right above you, you only need to free it." The discussion furthered some into that there are no such things as coincedence, all things are meant to happen how they happen...its rather humbling.

I am not big on finding symbolism everywhere.  I just take every thing as it comes.  Sometimes that means wisdom comes from the oddest experiences.

Thanks!  So heres another kicker. When I wake up in the morning, im always fully absorbed. Sometimes it is the 4th Jhana, others the 3rd, but it is, of course, a great way to wake. With that said, Id say it is pretty safe to assume, that I am absorbed while asleep, and most often go OOB. Its just fate that determines what adventure awaits when I close my eyes Now the trick is to remember everything, and experience it! =)

This is a good sign of leading a fruitful rigorous, self-aware contemplative life.

[Cal]

Well that was an interesting journey last night. In the recent months, I have avoided absorbing outside of meditation before bed. The reason for this is it can be inconsistent, and also that I am required to be "productive" in this time-frame. Sometimes I do not have a choice. Just before bed I thought to myself that I need to sleep as there are thing required of me in the morning. Hahaha this was a bad idea as before I was able to fall asleep, without meditating, I became aware of a shit storm. My normal snow-white/black/grey visual field turned blood red. I've never experienced this before. I smelled piss and tasted it. My entire body burned more that Id ever felt. This experience started in the 3rd Jhana but quickly regressed back to the first, and oh man, I did not want to be there lol. My heart was pounding, I felt pressures in places I hadnt before. I felt what felt like a breath on my cheek. I am thankful in that I was able to regain myself by willing myself to meditate. Things calmed after around 3 hours, and the meditation was deep. The fun didnt stop there haha. When I finally fell "asleep" I began flashing in and out of lucid states. I recorded them in my journal, and in reflection I've been able to kinda piece them together. Something of note, the perception of the mind in these events can skew them, as set and setting, for some, are a perceptual response to the visual stimulus. Which is true in my case. So finally this lucid state rested in a longer event. After piecing it together, it came to me looking at my resting body. I was looking at the back of my body, and yet I was feeling kundalini energy, that was felt by my body, and yet it was also felt in the observer that was looking at the back of my body (lol). AMAZING experience. It was intense, and blissful. Surprisingly it as only felt in the back from the low spine to the top of the head. Oddly, I got a flash of a visual while this was occuring, it was much like a thousand hands stimulating the entire area of my back. It gets better, now while in this lucid state, after the kundalini the visual of a family picture flashed before me, and I knew I could leave. Without any hesitation I left. Heres the weird part though, I left from the observer that was observing my body, and the observer became as husk. LOL wtf? So when i was "out" I experimented, and learned I could fly. I did this much in the way I move energy around my body, but heres another kicker, i felt it in my physical body. So i kinda bobbed up and down until I figured out how to run with it. The second I figured it out I was gone, straight into the sky, I wanted to see the stars. I felt it all, the change in atmosphere, the chillness, and in reflection, this was the problem. The thought gripped me "Is it going to hurt when I leave the atmosphere?", and disappeared I did. I woke and tossed and turned for next few hours contemplating.

So ya, good times. 

[Jhanananda]

You are so fortunate to have learned what it is like with and without formal meditation practice.

[Cal]

There is so much that I don't understand. This entire event was a "blur". Yet there is some distinction. I wasnt alone when I left, yet when I did leave, I was like a dog off of a chain, I took off. In order to sustain that experience would require a depth of equanimity I do not know yet. So im torn between fight or flight here, but I think that establishment of deeper equanimity is what I need. Thank you Jhananada, your words are encouraging. It has been with your help and guidance that these experiences are even possible.

[Sam Lim]

This stage you're in, is when the next stage is OOBE or 5th jhana. I've been through this also.

[Jhanananda]

There is so much that I don't understand. This entire event was a "blur". Yet there is some distinction. I wasnt alone when I left, yet when I did leave, I was like a dog off of a chain, I took off. In order to sustain that experience would require a depth of equanimity I do not know yet. So im torn between fight or flight here, but I think that establishment of deeper equanimity is what I need. Thank you Jhananada, your words are encouraging. It has been with your help and guidance that these experiences are even possible.

Yes, one needs a great deal of equanimity to negotiate the immaterial attainments.  It is found through regular daily practice in deep meditation to the 4th stages.

This stage you're in, is when the next stage is OOBE or 5th jhana. I've been through this also.

Yes, I found one stumbles upon the immaterial domains at increasing intervals as one masters the 4 jhanas.  So, when full mastery of the 4 jhanas is accomplished, then one can traverse the infinite layers of the immaterial domains with ease, without acquiring attached evil spirits along the way.  Equanimity is the key.

[Cal]

There is so much that I don't understand. This entire event was a "blur". Yet there is some distinction. I wasnt alone when I left, yet when I did leave, I was like a dog off of a chain, I took off. In order to sustain that experience would require a depth of equanimity I do not know yet. So im torn between fight or flight here, but I think that establishment of deeper equanimity is what I need. Thank you Jhananada, your words are encouraging. It has been with your help and guidance that these experiences are even possible.

Yes, one needs a great deal of equanimity to negotiate the immaterial attainments.  It is found through regular daily practice in deep meditation to the 4th stages.

This stage you're in, is when the next stage is OOBE or 5th jhana. I've been through this also.

Yes, I found one stumbles upon the immaterial domains at increasing intervals as one masters the 4 jhanas.  So, when full mastery of the 4 jhanas is accomplished, then one can traverse the infinite layers of the immaterial domains with ease, without acquiring attached evil spirits along the way.  Equanimity is the key.

Foolishly I wonder how deep I've fallen to encounter this. What would it be like without "interventions". Something tells me this battle has be fought 1000 times before, and lost. Furthermore, I believe it will be fought again, and again, and again...That level of brilliance, of mastery, I can't even comprehend that. But I can endure, and I will. I wept today in reflection, you went through this alone? It stokes an anger in me, one im trying not to let define. But it is encouraging. Thank you so much.

[Jhanananda]

Foolishly I wonder how deep I've fallen to encounter this. What would it be like without "interventions". Something tells me this battle has be fought 1000 times before, and lost. Furthermore, I believe it will be fought again, and again, and again...That level of brilliance, of mastery, I can't even comprehend that. But I can endure, and I will. I wept today in reflection, you went through this alone? It stokes an anger in me, one im trying not to let define. But it is encouraging. Thank you so much.

Yes, I made the journey alone on the material domains, but the immaterial domains team with beings, and I had many guides there.  On the other hand I had the guidance of the the writing of the mystics to guide me, all be it they were in most cases grossly mistranslated.

The interior journey through the 8 stages of depth in meditation is something everyone who becomes liberated and enlightened must traverse, and we all do it alone, whether we have a living master as a guide or not.  Although it is certainly easier to have one to guide us, who has traversed the way ahead of us.

[Cal]

This stage you're in, is when the next stage is OOBE or 5th jhana. I've been through this also.

Sam, I'm curious, are your experiences with OOBE's as convoluted as mine? As if one was to say ripped from a reality of reality, or a dream within a dream of a dream? For me attempting to unravel them it is quite the task, just curious if there is an acclimation to this that makes them more discernable? Or does one relinquish a previous "reality" so that it is no longer a part of the equation?

I would like to note also that I put alot of emphasis on a "pearl" of golden light, Ive even called it a spaceship in the past lol. However, It may be that I am no longer "looking" for this, so I no longer see this? It seems that the visual field itself, in a deep meditation, has become more vivid, and no longer contains the golden hued shapes, but rather forms.

[Sam Lim]

I've always have lucid dreams since when I was a child. They all seem so fantastic but there is always the few that are recurring. The stages that you have experienced is what I have experienced. I just accepted it and then it proceeds from there until I see all the glowing swirls becomes a tunnel and I went in. That's the OOBE. I've never placed much meaning or emphasis in dreams. To be crude, I don't really bother. Please note that I live in Asia and most of us know something about this sort of things. That's for the older generation. That all happened before I met Jeff or this forum.

The pearl is always present when I close or open my eyes. Nowadays is not very apparent. Yes, you can see shadowy forms at this stage.

[Cal]

I've always have lucid dreams since when I was a child. They all seem so fantastic but there is always the few that are recurring. The stages that you have experience is what I have experienced. I just accepted it and then it proceeds from there until I see all the glowing swirls becomes a tunnel and I went in.
That's the OOBE. I've never placed much meaning or emphasis in dreams. To be crude, I don't really bother.

The pearl is always present when I close or open my eyes. Nowadays is not very apparent. Yes, you can see shadowy forms at this stage.

Well, ok. I understand. It's not that I mean to put emphasis on the dreams per say, its that I wish to unravel this fear thats in me, which becomes most apparent in the lucid state, or OOB. I wish to progress. It does make sense to take them at "face value" or to just accept it, as most of the unraveling that i have done has been done almost subconsciously and then realized, rather than thought on and concluded, if that makes sense. But I do understand that i do not need to unravel them, and that they just are.

[Sam Lim]

If you want to understand the dreams, by all means. There are no hard and fast rules. I am just telling you my perceptions of most things. If dissecting the dreams makes you understand, all the better. This attitude of mine was in me when I was young when I realized that things that I cannot investigate or find a solution, I let it go. All things will come to fruition/results eventually.

[Jhanananda]

I'm curious, are your experiences with OOBE's as convoluted as mine? As if one was to say ripped from a reality of reality, or a dream within a dream of a dream? For me attempting to unravel them it is quite the task, just curious if there is an acclimation to this that makes them more discernable? Or does one relinquish a previous "reality" so that it is no longer a part of the equation?

For me lifetimes, dreams and OOBEs are all just dreams within dreams, within dreams.

I would like to note also that I put alot of emphasis on a "pearl" of golden light, Ive even called it a spaceship in the past lol. However, It may be that I am no longer "looking" for this, so I no longer see this? It seems that the visual field itself, in a deep meditation, has become more vivid, and no longer contains the golden hued shapes, but rather forms.

Seeing a "pearl" of golden light, or blue light, during meditation, is common for those who meditate deeply.  Here is a thread on this forum that discusses this experience, and it has links to a few essays that I wrote on this subject, [urlhttp://fruitofthecontemplativelife.org/forum/index.php/topic,566.0.html]Kasina Object Meditation[/url].

[Cal]

I found myself spending a great deal of time listening and watching videos on OOBE's the last couple of days. I feel like it's really helped me in relinquishing some of the fears I held with them. Although, the person explaining them avoided most of the negative, or rather dismissed it as rare occurrence. I came to accept that his experience, that has been the majority good and pleasant, is just as much real and valid to him as the negative and opposite is to me. Never the less, I feel like it's helped me out a great deal.

I do question though, if the OOBE itself is the "whole package"? Or even if it is to be regarded in any particular way. I know that I have read somewhere that the cultivation of the 4 lower jhanas is the path to liberation. I just think seeking an OOBE simply to have an OOBE, or cultivating it, or desiring it, to be a major detriment. I think at this point I will be more ok with them when they happen, but I don't wish to seek them out. On that note, lately I do not wish to seek anything. It becomes worry-some at times to think of existence. Even with all of the fantastical stories I read about, or watch videos on; I don't want them. I find it more troublesome to read and read and read in search of what it is that I do "want", and I cannot find it. I guess I just do my best to present in the moment, ever searching for what it is I seek, just maybe it'll make itself known someday.

[Jhanananda]

Yes, I find the suttas are quite clear that the 4 jhanas are the path to liberation; and we are confirmed in that premise by the fact that those who find the OOBE, and/or direct their effort toward them do not seem to be free of obsessive and compulsive behavior, such as addictions. So, I agree there is not much point in putting a lot of emphasis in cultivating them; however, it has been my experience, and my case histories support this conclusion, that those who learn to meditate to the depth of the 4 jhanas tend to spontaneously develop the OOBE; and since we had recent discussion on remote viewing, then remote viewing is also developed spontaneously for those who learn to meditate deeply.