Alexander,
I thank you for your response to my post. I am sorry to hear your practice is still not giving you the succor you need for this life. I will state again how much I still believe you should be most capable with how deep your understanding of the contemplative life is. I do not mean to dismiss your troubles i just mean i feel you certainly could attain it with your understanding and feelings on nondualism.
I will say that it is absolutely a concrete experiences that I am trying to express. I am sorry if it comes of unnecessarily poetic or dramatic, but it is because the experience truly is so. Even typing this now, my ears are ringing loudly resonating perfectly with the bliss/energy/tacticle tingles thats i feel throughout my whole body, and especially strong in my third eye, throat, heart, and top of my head. So be it that people call those places chakras. I dont believe anything ive been taught about them or read online, but i cant deny the experience of extreme tingling tactile bliss any more than i can the other sensations that happen in my body. They are there, i wish i had a better way to express to you.
I have taken mushrooms and LSD and I can say without question that the vibrations and energy that I have felt in my body of those drugs were like lesser versions of what I feel now. The same is for marijuana and edible marijuana. I get to similar places, but with much less control and lucidity, and much more side effects. I really mean less than similar, Jeffrey is right to say meditation is like like a rolls royce to the garbage can that drugs usually are. There is a true personal and soul bonding experience when what you go through is more intense and engaging than anything you have ever experienced while not being caused by any thing or drug, but you submitting fully as a whole entity inner and outer. After about a year it had become a 24/7 experience for me. It has always been a case of whether I was consistent, and more importantly internally submitting. I couldnt out discipline my internal ability to submit, it is very scary to submit to what literally feels like infinite levels of bliss and energy available all the time. As long as i submit consistently and fully, the bliss has always been at deeper levels than say the last mediation or the week before. It is actually ever deepening. It has been about 9 years now since I began. I have always had very lucid dreams since i was a child but I felt like an empty shell casing with nothing but depression anxiety and anger for the second decade of my life. And since about 4 years ago i have felt entirely entranced and over taken with the bliss and out of body experiences to the point that i feel like salt dissolving away. It is second nature now to submit and let go, even when it is absolutely overwhelming and kind of scary. Like Jeffrey saying and stone worn to sand, and other mystics ways of expressing that.
If i am focused on life and ita troubles and etc. I cannot let go fully and have to attend to relieving and relaxing my tensions whether physical, mental, external problems. So in a sense like the Christians i see how everything is on me to let go and give myself up. Because gods infinite love is always there and readily available to feel and experience in this life. Maybe not in its infinite form all the time and only here and there out of body. But the blissful waves and surrounding ether are literally always available to any awareness that can relax and tune in to those deep layers of bliss and love. And i promise you it is not metaphorical. It literally feels like the most pure and unconditional love and infinite energy that you could ever imagine. And you can truly die once you know what that experience can feel like. My whole life has become dedicated to it simply from the first experience and no one ever needed to tell me anything. Every way I try to exress it are my own words and attempt with terrible vocabulary to say what many mystics say better.
Im going to stop here because I know I am overtyping, but the passion I feel for people to experience this, especially people like you, is strong. If you have any other questions or even critizism to what Ive said please dont hesitate. I wont be offended whatever you say, I honestly just want to help if I can.
Rougeleader
